Posted on June 11, 2003 Posted by John Scalzi 12 Comments
My ex-girlfriend has requested more pictures of Ghlaghghee because, as she puts it “they’re the only reason I come to visit your site.” Well, now. Considering how much pain and aggravation I caused her while we were going out, I suppose it’s only fair to give her something in return. Also, men, here’s a quick lesson for you: If you can help assuage decade-long memories of your relationship buttheadedness through the exhibition of a few pictures of your new kitten, for God’s sake, do it. (I should note that the ex in question and I are excellent friends, and not just because of kitty pictures.)
Having said that, our first picture of Ghlaghghee:
Here he is taking a nap underneath my desk in my office. At the time this picture was taken, it was about 4:30 in the afternoon. Rest assured that 12 hours later, he was wide awake and doing his best to attack my extremities while I slept. We’re going to have to work on that. Speaking of which:
Here’s Ghlaghghee attempting to consume my big toe. Aside from being a balanced part of any cat’s complete breakfast, this particular toe has been discovered by Ghlaghghee to be the Root of All Evil, which must thereby be attacked whenever possible. This battle will end only when the toe has been vanquished, or Ghlaghghee has been turned to the dark side (the toe is not his father). Inasmuch as losing a big toe would really impact my ability to wear flip-flops, you should probably expect pictures of Evil Ghlaghghee, complete with pointy goatee, sometime in the reasonably near future. And here’s our last photo of the day:
This is what I imagine is very close to the last thing an unsuspecting cricket ever sees before it is pounced upon. Yes, Ghlaghghee is very cute. Just not if you’re the aforementioned cricket.
Okay, that’s enough adorable fluffiness for one day.
Hmmm, looks delicious…. :)
The cat? Or the toe? Either way, you’re a sick, sick man.
*Eggxactly* as I predicted.
I’ll move ahead with my Plans to Take Over the World(tm) now…
I figure if I can predict _your_ actions, then The Plan(tm) will accurately predict those of my soon to be victi- err – Fellow Citizens(tm).
And while I’m at it, I’m going to ™ every possible “catchy phrase” as I possibly can. :)
Is now the time to mention that I got myself a new kitten, so was reading “Cats for Dummies” and was pleasantly surprised to find a short reference to our Mr. S (and Rex)?
Yes, indeed, that’s me and my cat, although I believe the URL for that is outdated. I had completely forgotten about that.
Oh good, so cats attacking toes is not an isolated incident. Well, that’s a load of my mind…
(and a few more stitches for my big toe…)
OK, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system…isn’t it just the sweetest thing, the way cats twist their heads upside down when they sleep?
“Also, men, here’s a quick lesson for you:”
Here’s a lesson for you, too: never mention the existence of an “EX” anywhere within a 6 miles proximity of your “PRESENT.” I thought you were smarter than that, incompoop. You’ll need more than a cat and 9 lives from now on. Hope you’re still around tomorrow with the rest of your big toe.
Nonsense. My present is secure enough that my relationship with the ex bothers her not in the slightest. Ask her yourself.
So perhaps you can write a book on *how* you botched things in the past so that we can learn from your erroneous actions.
The last photo shows why I stopped taking flash photos of my cat. They’re too quick. A cat can go from catatonic semi-sleep to ears-up-eyes-wide full alert during that unmeasurably small interval between the flash going off and the shutter opening.
That’s my experience with 35mm. If you have a digital camera or one of those pre-flash flashes, the interval is longer and distinctly measurable, though still not long enough for *me* to get to full alert state.
Hope your taste in girls is better than taste in cats. God is that an ugly thing.