Your GMail Haiku Winners

Of course I should say, in the grand tradition of spelling bees everywhere, that everyone who played is a winner. But it’s a contemptible lie when they say it at the spelling bee, and it’d be no less a contemptible lie now. You all didn’t win; just four of you did. But you can be assured that if I had five GMail addresses to hand out that yours undoubtedly would have been the other one I picked. Seriously, man. I’m telling everyone else that to placate them, but in your case, I mean it. God, I love you.

Anyway, your four winners:

Taco Bell cheeses
Processed, shredded, oiled, and fried
There go my bowels

— from Caliscrub (two words are of indeterminate syllabic value: “oiled” and “bowels” — either can be said as one or two syllables, for the purposes of this haiku, assume one syllable for the former, and two for the latter).

My heart aches for cheese,
And according to the doc:
My heart aches from cheese.

— from Rhorsman

Some say the world will
end in fire; some say in cheese.
But most likely, fire.

— from Steve Eley

Had to give up cheese
Screaming baby with colic
Will be weaned early.

— from Naomi

Winners, check your e-mail boxes for GMail love; everyone else, thanks for playing. If I eventually have more GMail accounts to give out, I’ll do another suitably ridiculous contest.

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