Demon Seed GMail Winners

Here are the winners I’ve selected for gmail accounts. For context, once again, the picture of poor, possessed Athena:

Winner #1: Lee Newberry

Ever wake up with that not-so-fresh feeling? Hundreds(1) of decent, hardworking Americans are afflicted with the minions of Beelzebub each year. The only source of professional strength exorcisms is from poorly-credentialed traveling evangelists or costly and demanding Catholic priests.

Until now.

Introducing Demon-eze, a powerful new form of relief in one tiny pill. No more disruptive exorcisms from flaky ministers or self-righteous priests. One pill and you`ll be Satan`s plaything no more. And with virtually no(2) side-effects, there`s no reason not to talk to your spiritual counsellor today.

Demon-eze. It gets the red out.

(1)Information provided by Oral Bill`s Hour of Power.
(2)Minor side effects include fever, headache, head spinning, spider walking, destructive telekenesis, vomiting, public urination, self-flagellation, glossolalia, getting the uglies, and spontaneous flight.

Winner #2: Jess

Medusa visits sweet revenge upon the Goddess Athena by stealing her conditioner.

Winner #3: Scott Lynch

Nostril-sized infrared flashlight: $12.99

Visit to the emergency room: $112.50

The look on your wife’s face when you explain what her daughter accidentally shoved into her sinus cavity today: Priceless.

Thanks to everyone for playing (again). I’m sure I’ll have more gmail accounts to pass around soon.

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