Albert and Cthulhu, Sitting In a Tree

Posted on September 13, 2004    Posted by John Scalzi      23 Comments

I have to say, I wasn’t entirely surprised when plush Albert Einstein and plush Cthulhu decided to become an item. After all, the two have tons in common: The love of water, the enjoyment of naps, a fascination with non-Euclidean geometry and a dislike of quantum physics (Al because it engenders spooky action at a distance; Cthulhu because quantum physicists tend toward the gamy side; it’s that whole “I’m too busy thinking about the Higgs Boson to bathe” thing). People have gotten married who have had less in common, and at least this way if it ends up that Cthulhu drives Albert crazy, well, you know. He can’t say he wasn’t warned.

For all the obvious compatibilities, I was still worried. Let’s face it, Dubya’s America is a difficult place to conduct a plush same-sex interspecies relationship, even if the two participants are stuffed representations the father of 20th Century physics and an elder god of madness and chaos. People will still talk. Even here at home, I worry about some of the other less tolerant plush toys; I’ve seen Felix the Cat giving the two of them the stinky eye, which is pretty rich coming from a plush toy whose history includes an acknowledged “bag of tricks.”

And what about outside the home? When Athena takes Al and Thu out into the world, will she get stares? I mean, they stare already — after all, how many five-year-olds walk around with a plush physicist and/or foul slumbering creature from the briny depths. I mean, will they stare more. Will the average person be able to divine the passionate vibe emanating from these two cloth-wrapped bags of fun-shaped batting? And if they do, will they understand? And will they condone? Or at least tolerate? It’s made even more difficult by the fact that some people still haven’t forgiven Albert Einstein for the social fallout surrounding his theory of relativity, or Cthulhu for being, well, a homophagic instigator of insanity. They just can’t see that at the end of the day, all these two want is to be loved.

Well, to hell with the lot of them. I for one applaud Al and Thu for their devotion to each other and for being willing to suffer the slings and arrows of those who misunderstand their relationship. If anyone can make a plush same-sex interspecies relationship work, it should be these two. Let’s hear it for a grand unified theory of love. They say you don’t have to be a crazy elder god to be in love, but it doesn’t hurt. That’s wisdom, my friends.

Albert and Cthulhu, Sitting In a Tree

Posted on September 13, 2004    Posted by John Scalzi      21 Comments

I have to say, I wasn’t entirely surprised when plush Albert Einstein and plush Cthulhu decided to become an item. After all, the two have tons in common: The love of water, the enjoyment of naps, a fascination with non-Euclidean geometry and a dislike of quantum physics (Al because it engenders spooky action at a distance; Cthulhu because quantum physicists tend toward the gamy side; it’s that whole “I’m too busy thinking about the Higgs Boson to bathe” thing). People have gotten married who have had less in common, and at least this way if it ends up that Cthulhu drives Albert crazy, well, you know. He can’t say he wasn’t warned.

For all the obvious compatibilities, I was still worried. Let’s face it, Dubya’s America is a difficult place to conduct a plush same-sex interspecies relationship, even if the two participants are stuffed representations the father of 20th Century physics and an elder god of madness and chaos. People will still talk. Even here at home, I worry about some of the other less tolerant plush toys; I’ve seen Felix the Cat giving the two of them the stinky eye, which is pretty rich coming from a plush toy whose history includes an acknowledged “bag of tricks.”

And what about outside the home? When Athena takes Al and Thu out into the world, will she get stares? I mean, they stare already — after all, how many five-year-olds walk around with a plush physicist and/or foul slumbering creature from the briny depths. I mean, will they stare more. Will the average person be able to divine the passionate vibe emanating from these two cloth-wrapped bags of fun-shaped batting? And if they do, will they understand? And will they condone? Or at least tolerate? It’s made even more difficult by the fact that some people still haven’t forgiven Albert Einstein for the social fallout surrounding his theory of relativity, or Cthulhu for being, well, a homophagic instigator of insanity. They just can’t see that at the end of the day, all these two want is to be loved.

Well, to hell with the lot of them. I for one applaud Al and Thu for their devotion to each other and for being willing to suffer the slings and arrows of those who misunderstand their relationship. If anyone can make a plush same-sex interspecies relationship work, it should be these two. Let’s hear it for a grand unified theory of love. They say you don’t have to be a crazy elder god to be in love, but it doesn’t hurt. That’s wisdom, my friends.