Like a Newbie, Fragged For the Very First Time

My new DSL modem has provided me the first true low-ping environment I’ve had since I left the warm confines of the AOL LAN, lo those many years ago. So I cranked up my Unreal Tournament 2004, went looking for some local servers, and jumped into a deathmatch to see if I still had my 1337 deathmatch 5ki11z5, yo.

I don’t. I got my ass handed to me over and over and over again; it’s a reminder that people are smarter than bots and are not easily tricked by a crafty double jump or two.

Clearly, I need to spend more time re-establishing my 5ki11z5. If I can do without having Krissy murder me, so much the better.

Also: The DSL is, like, sooooo much better than the satellite modem. There’s just no comparison. And it’s cheaper, too. We’re truly living in an age of miracles.

5 Comments on “Like a Newbie, Fragged For the Very First Time”

  1. I’m back on a campus connection this fall for the first time in a year… I’ve been playing Counter-Strike some and, well… I too lack 1337 deathmatch 5ki11z5.

  2. Welcome to the wonderful world of latency vs. bandwidth. That satellite connection adds about 44,000 miles of travel for every incoming signal. If my math is right, that’s an extra .25 sec. Even if the satellite had the same pipe size, it would feel a lot slower because it takes a lot longer to respond to your whims. A slow genie is a bad genie!

  3. “Just because I think _nearly all people_ voting for Bush are stupid, ignorant or hypocritical doesn’t mean I can’t be wrong.”

    Say, now, that kind of blatant revisionism can get a man accused of flip-flopping!

  4. As an avid UT2k4 player, I’d just like to let you know, you may hone your m4d l33t skillz (I can’t believe I actually managed to type that with a straight face) but the ass-handings don’t necessarily always stop.