Inflicting My Child Upon You, Volume #25,338


Because, by God, it’s my Web site. If you click here, you’ll see Athena sing the informative and emphatic “Planet Song,” with music and lyrics by Athena Scalzi. And if that hasn’t caused you to scurry away screaming, indulge in the gripping narrative tone poem “I Broke My Knee,” another original work, which recounts Athena breaking said knee. Actually, she just scraped it, but what good is art, if not to exaggerate to great effect? I mean, Grendel was probably a wounded bear or something. You know what I’m talking about.

Bear in mind that both of these songs are meant primarily for grandmotherly consumption (as well as the consumption of other family), so you can be entirely excused if you’re less than overwhelmed by Athena’s musical and lyrical gifts. On the other hand, let’s roll you back to five years old and see how you do. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

James and Ted’s Excellent Literary Adventures

Hey, look at that: James Lileks has got a new book out: Interior Desecrations: Hideous Homes from the Horrible ’70s. It’s a follow-up to his Gallery of Regrettable Food, except this time, instead of mocking 50s food, he’s mocking 70s interior decorating. And rightly so, I’d say.

James and I go back a ways, to the time when I was a humor editor at AOL and I called him to beg him to write a weekly column for me, and he did (thus marking the first and probably last time that he and Ted Rall worked for the same editor). He helped make me look good; therefore I’m inclined to recommend him to others. I haven’t seen the book yet, but I’ve seen the dry runs off of, and they’re the patented Lileks midwestern-hipster snark, so I can’t imagine this one not being damn funny. I’ll be picking it up the next trip to the bookstore.

As long as I’m making a tangential reference to Ted Rall, I should also note that he has a new book out as well: Generalissimo El Busho: Essays and Cartoons on the Bush Years. Sadly for me, this book meant that Ted was on a book tour while I was in New York, so our paths did not cross in Gotham. But I allow that shilling his book may have been moderately more important than seeing me at the moment. This is actually Ted’s second book of the year; his previous one, Wake Up, You’re Liberal!: How We Can Take America Back from the Right makes the argument that most conservatives are actually closer to liberals than they suspect, in terms of values, but that they’ve been more or less brainwashed to see an “us vs. them” worldview versus the libs. I imagine hearing this from Ted Rall would be enough to make conservatives explode in rage, which is of course only proving his point. Anyway, it’s a fascinating book, and not just because of my cameo appearance on page 53 (in which Ted references my theory of the “original sin” of both the Republicans and the Democrats, which you can see via Amazon here).

There, I think I’ve done enough ecumenical book pimping for the day.