An Amazon Depatment Too Far
Posted on August 19, 2005 Posted by John Scalzi 10 Comments
You know, I love me the Amazon, but I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to buy sex toys from them. If for no other reason than I’m not mentally prepared for the Amazon Recommends e-mail that would inevitably arrive: “We’ve found that Amazon customers who have bought the NewPlex Adam & Eve Realistic 8 Inch Penis Dildo might also enjoy the SeaKap Butt Plug Black (Medium).” Yeah, having Amazon’s computers recommend an anal plug to me might in fact send me right over the edge, and not in that good “it’s massaging your prostate!” way.
Now let us never speak of this again.
I also don’t think that I would ever in a million years want to “Be the first person to review this item!”
Yeah, but just wait for the day when you can learn that people who bought the NewPlex Adam & Eve Realistic 8 Inch Penis Dildo also bought Old Man’s War by John Scalzi… or maybe your appeal lies more with the butt-plug crowd?
I make no judgements as to the sex toy proclivities of my readers, Ron. Be they delighted with dildoes or amorous for anal plugs, they are all welcome to read my work. Welcome! I say.
At least now we can get reliable sales figures for sex toys – you known, for sociological purposes. Plus it can give perspective on how a given book is doing. “Well, it’s outselling the SuperRam 8000 but it’s getting killed by the Hello Kitty vibrator.”
It could get ugly – imagine buying Blow-Up Betty for yourself and Tickle-Me Elmo for your niece, and getting the shipping addresses mixed up. It’d make for awkward conversation over birthday cake, to say the least.
Well, they both wiggle when you squeeze them.
Are they borrowing from the way they sell books and offer used products as well?
I’d look, but I don’t wanna know.
Um….no. I mean, I’m all for buying sex toys, but I don’t want to get them from Amazon somehow.
The cool part is, just by clicking John’s link, the next time you go to Amazon, you’ll get a neat “recommendation” or “page you made” on the screen.