How to Tell your Sick Child is Feeling Better

  1. She kicks your ass at Soul Calibur II. 2. She trash talks you while she’s doing it.  


1. She kicks your ass at Soul Calibur II.

2. She trash talks you while she’s doing it.  

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

17 replies on “How to Tell your Sick Child is Feeling Better”

I’m a new, but will be a fervent, reader of your site, John.

*cough* I think you should head to a site called Gamefaqs. Find a suitable guide, read it thoroughly, practice the game feverishly when your daughter isn’t around, and teach her who’s boss the next time you battle her.

John, just pick Raphael and hit Forward, Triangle, Triangle, Triangle. Repeat. It’s one of the cheapest moves in the game. Of course, if she knows how to counter you’d be screwed. And I’d be impressed.

She uses a variety of characters, actually, but is most fond of Taki. She also likes Nightmare.

Bear in mind that she doesn’t win every single game (and she hates that). But she wins more than she doesn’t.

SCIII, as the kids are saying these days, is teh r0XX0rzzorz. You can create your own character. Mine is named Lord Pantsly.

There’s a demo in the November issue of OPM, on store shelves in two weeks! Hurry, supplies are running out!

John, I find that old arcade games are a good way to WTFPWNINTEHFACE! your kids. Yeah, maybe they can whup me at Super Monkey Ball 2, but they better not be wagering their allowances on Pac-Man, baby.

(Also, give Dance Dance Revolution a try. When they find out that Mom has an unfair advantage, mine are gonna be pissed–but at any rate, it’s good exercise.)

Ahhh, reminds me when I was staying home with my ex boyfriends kids and the 10-year-old’s friends came over and played Goldeneye on N64 all the time…Tell you what, I had to learn how to kick ass on that game out of self-preservation so I could hold my own with the 10-year-olds rather than being embarrassed. Served me well later when I could then beat the pants off the mid 20-year-old men I played with. Course, they got pissed off that a “girl” could beat them so easily and refused to play with me anymore…

I’m thrilled to see that Athena’s dad is much more progressive than they were! =)

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