The Actress

Okay, watch this:

Athena looks happy… until I tell her that we’ve sold her for medical experiments!

Now, now. I’m just kidding about the medical experiments. We’d never sell you for medical experiments, sweetie. Unless, of course, we could get a really good deal. But I see I’ve distressed you. What say I get you some ice cream?


Did I mention it’s Kitten Ripple ice cream?

I jest! I jest! They haven’t made kitten ripple since the 1930s. It’s actually Chunky Kitties and Cream!


All right! What an amazing performance! The pathos! The pain! The kittens! Come on honey, take a bow.

Thank you, and good night! 

Yet Another Subterranean Magazine Submissions Reminder

All you short story writers, here’s yet another reminder that as of Saturday, I begin accepting submissions for Subterranean Magazine’s Spring ’06 issue, with the theme "Big Honkin’ Science Fiction Cliches." The details are here, and once again I remind you to learn and love the submission requirements, as they do apply to all.

Allow me to note also that while the reading period for submissions begins October 1 (and ends November 1), I am probably not actually going to begin actually reading submissions until October 3, on account that I will be in Chicago this weekend at a bookseller’s convention, promoting the heck out of my own work. Let me also note that getting stuff to me the very first day will not make any sort of difference in terms of acceptance/rejection; you’ll have just as much chance selling me a story if it arrives a week in, or two weeks in, or on the last day of the reading period, as you will the very first day. So please, don’t rush your story just to have it be the first piece in my mailbox. Take an extra day or two for revisions and such.

In case you’re wondering what the schedule here is going to be for production, it’ll be something like this:

October: Reading submissions, making first cuts, (possibly) asking for revisions.

November: Final selections based on revisions and another sweep through submissions to find anything I missed the first time around.

December: E-mailing of rejections; mailing payments. Initial layout and production.

That’s the plan, anyway.  

Remember also to read this, regarding the mechanics of submission rejection. And if it’s any consolation, I’ve already written a short story for the magazine that I then rejected (it seemed amusing enough when I started it, but when I was done with it? Eh, not so much). Since I’ve already rejected a submission from myself, this should be an indication I’ll not be playing favorites.

Of course, you should be happy I’ve already rejected myself: More space for the rest of you. I’m looking forward to seeing what you have.