Colbert, Soup, Piss
A question from a reader*:
I’d be interested in reading your thoughts on Stephen Colbert’s performance at the White House Correspondant’s Association Dinner. In particular, the way that a decent portion of the media seems to feel that Colbert was completely out of line (as opposed to GWB looking around the Oval Office for WMDs, which was apparently high comedy).
Toward the blogosphere feeling outraged that the professional press is ignoring Colbert’s performance, well, what did you expect? The guy pissed in their soup. You expect them to report about how refreshing the taste was?
Besides, now that the blogosphere is pitching a fit about it, it’ll get reported just fine; the media’s obsession with the blogs guarantees that. In fact, here’s how it will go:
1. Colbert pisses in pro media’s soup; pro media fails to report soup pissing.
2. Blog world cries: “Look! Soup piss! And they’re not telling you about it!”
3. Editor & Publisher comments on the blog world complaining about the lack of piss soup reporting.
4. Newspaper media columns note that E&P notes the blogosphere’s obsession with Colbert-flavored piss soup.
5. Newsweek’s Periscope section runs snarky piece on how if the White House Correspondents didn’t want piss in their soup, they shouldn’t have hired Colbert, who is a veritable firehose of soup-pissery.
6. New Yorker and/or Vanity Fair and/or Highlights for Children runs a profile of Stephen Colbert, in which his soup-pissing acumen at the Correspondent’s dinner is praised as a turning point in something or other; his piss-soup stylings are entered into presidential lore, to live forever as a moment of speaking truthiness to power.
7. Stephen Colbert renegotiates his contract with Comedy Central; hosts the MTV Video Awards with Mandy Moore.
8. Republicans win in 2006; Stephen Colbert assassinated.
9. Pro media files Colbert assassination story which notes the soup-pissing incident in passing. Blogosphere erupts in fury; DailyKos servers melt down under the load.
10. In the dead of night, President Bush visits Colbert’s grave and pisses on it.
See? That’s how it’ll get done.
*I get e-mail from people asking me questions which I then post about online, but since I generally consider e-mail to be private, I tend not to identify the reader unless I get permission from them beforehand. If you ask a question and want to be identified if I answer it on the Whatever, let me know (or just out yourself in the comment thread).