Apropos of Nothing in Particular

Me (to Krissy): Hey, sweetheart, what would you do if someone decided to try to grope you in public?

Krissy: I think it depends.

Me: On what?

Krissy: Well, the pinky is the easiest finger to break, but breaking someone’s thumb hurts them more.

Me: There’s a broken finger involved in any event, though.

Krissy: A fractured finger, at the very least.

32 Comments on “Apropos of Nothing in Particular”

  1. Good sense, that wife of yours. Everyone knows the instinct for a man is to protect his genetals when being attacked, so the hands are probably the least of his worries.

    As well as providing a useful option for being groped by a woman.

  2. Wow. Awesome. Lucky you, Scalzi.

    So does that mean she could beat up that ex-girlfriend of yours? The martial artist?

  3. I have found an elbow to the nose to be pretty effective as well. Eyes and hands are busy and down low and usually unable to block the incoming.

  4. Was Krissy assuming that the someone in question would not be you, or would her answer apply regardless?

  5. Firebyrd, since apparently everyone else is bent on being a tease: A very prominent, aging, male sf writer groped a very prominent female sf writer, on-stage, in full view of audience and videocameras, while they were presenting the Hugos. The gropee decided to go with the “completely ignore it” response and get on with the ceremony in as dignified a way as possible. Discussion of other possible modes of response has followed, with most of the suggested methods being quite a bit more colorful, with Krissy’s proposed response being by no means the most painful for the groper, if implemented.

  6. The ceremony was video’d – so it will get out eventually. Also, shouldn’t part of the cost of groping someone in public be the public shame? So…. who was it?

  7. This is no time to be coy. I’d like to hear more about the groping incident. Who did it and what did they do?

  8. Doesn’t seem like Scalzi wants to have the name posted here (just guessing here) but a google search or a quick look around PNH’s Livejournal will give you the details.

  9. Here’s a link to the PNH entry discussing the SF groping:


    I’m not necessarily trying to be coy about it, I just don’t want to have to referee a discussion about it here at the moment. Also, I managed to miss the event in question; I suspect I was looking down at my shiny new plaque when it happened.

  10. Well, I think Patrick’s statement was to the point. It’s a shame that some men choose to act in such an infantile manner. I would suggest if he’s looking for notoriety he should go jump on Oprah’s couch like Tom Cruise – but he should just keep his hands to himself…

  11. I didn’t include the culprit’s name because it appeared to me that our host preferred not to do so, and I have no wish to involve John in a fight with a, um, notoriously vigorious feuder involuntarily. PNH’s livejournal and quite a few other places have the details, with all names named.

  12. As I understand it, the gentleman in question isn’t looking for notoriety; he found it, years ago, and has spent much of the intervening time jumping up and down and waving it so everyone knows he’s got it.

  13. Ugh. I’m almost sorry I asked, although it is worth it to identify the perv in question.

    What an a hole, and I don’t use that term lightly. He gives a bad name to men everywhere. I wish he was arrested. I wish somebody would clean his clock. This kind of stuff really pisses me off.

  14. I didn’t see Krissy Hugo night and am sorry for it now, after hearing that her dress was the *other* great one of the night, along with Betty Ballantine’s. I saw Betty’s, so it must have been a hell of a dress to be worthy of comparison.

  15. I didn’t see the grope either, but I believe it completely because I have seen other totally boorish Harlan behavior. What should happen, but won’t, is that the next worldcon committee should inform him that he is not welcome as any sort of guest or member, and then when he shows up anyway, have him forcibly removed by security. It wasn’t cute, it wasn’t funny, but it was insulting to everyone.

  16. I saw the grope but at the time assumed it must have been staged since NO ONE in their right mind behaves like that. I only found out 24 hours later that it was the real feel.

    On the other hand, it was clear to me that his gratuitously calling Virginia Heinlein a bitch from the stage was not a scripted moment, just a public demonstration of what narcissism looks like.

  17. The real question, John, is what you would do if someone tried to grope you in public.

    If the answer is, “Get Krissy to fuck her shit up,” just be sure to post the video, mmkay?

  18. Martin Wagner:

    “The real question, John, is what you would do if someone tried to grope you in public.”

    I’ve actually had my ass pinched by a girl before, at a dance club. It went down like this:

    Me (surprised): Hey, that girl just pinched my ass!

    Krissy: Was she cute?

    Me (looking back): Um… yeah.

    Krissy: Well, all right then. Now let’s dance.

    (we dance)

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