If I Ever Teach College Students…
… My own version of this would likely be the first handout. And then I imagine that my second class would have half the students of the first. Which would be fine.
The only thing I would add to it would be the notation that should a parent call or e-mail me to complain that I’m being unfair to their darling child, my response will be to knock a half-grade off the student’s overall grade. Because if I’m going to be labeled as unfair, I might as well live up to the title.
But I don’t imagine anyone would let me near a college classroom, since publishing eight books in six years and working as a full-time writer for fifteen is not nearly the equivalent of an MFA. Ah, well.