And Now This Startling Admission
Posted on December 9, 2006 Posted by John Scalzi 36 Comments
My toe wasn’t really sore this afternoon. I posted that it was to illustrate the point to an interviewer that the community of Whatever readers is pretty much ready to use any topic as a launching point for discussion, even one as mundane as, oh, “my toe is sore.” So I typed it in and we continued our interview, and some time later I went back to the Whatever and, lo and behold, a discussion. And a fun one, too. So thank you all for proving my point for me. You’re making me look good here.
In other news, my thumb is sore. That’s because I just bit the nail down to the quick. Because I’m a moron, you see.
My sense of trust in you is shattered. Shattered.
*exits, sobbing*
There, there, Mary. It will all be all right.
only here could that happen.
who was the interviewer?
DANCE, MONKEYS! DANCE!
I feel so used and oh-so very dirty.
Yep – we’ll talk about just ANYTHING!!
For our next trick, we’ll convince our host to compose a story of drama and loss featuring a postsingularity feline that quantum entagles 4 dimensional near-porcine meat product to simulations of scifi authors from the dark ages, just because it can.
Wait, Charlie Stross already wrote that one, didn’t he? Well, maybe add a sex scene.
I think Charlie Stross already wrote that one.
Dan said, I feel so used and oh-so very dirty.
Why this means war.
I’ve crazy-glued my sense of trust back together and am back for the duration. Bastard.
It could have been worse. You could have been trying out an early draft of the sex scene on us. *shudders*
“Do I look like your little monkey?”
–Bruce Campbell…oh, a couple of years ago during a reading for his autobiography when asked to say something (I forget what) by a member of the audience.
What can I say except, “Eeee. Eeeee. Eeeee. Bastard.”
P.S. No sympathy for the thumb…it it even hurts.
It does hurt. It hurts all the way down to my soul.
Did I mention that shifting to a Mac (from a banged up linux box) and getting a camera have consipired to make my wrists hurt? Since we’re talking about dumb physical complaints. I loves me my mac, but the increased mousing around kills. (I’m mainly a command line sort of person.) And holding a physical camera, with, like, all these heavy optics attached? It starts to seem like work or something, after a while. And don’t get me started on sudden loss of ambient heat here in Brooklyn. I have to put on coats and hats and stuff now when I go out to buy booze.
I’ve successfully stopped biting my nails. Instead, I bite my left knuckle. It now has a sizable callus that sometimes splits over the tendon, which makes it indeed quite sore. I haven’t figured out another alternative biting location that isn’t nails and also isn’t on a joint…
I am a sycophantic rat inn the maze of your blog. Banging the bar for treats.
I… want treats.
Judging from the moment I chose to view your site this morning, especially random topics will generate discussion, but only exactly eighteen comments of it. I’ll take that as a hard limit.
fishbane, there are lots of Mac keyboard shortcuts, and you can define your own in System Preferences.
Plus you can always pop up a terminal window and do stuff in there with Bash.
As for the Camera, get yourself a little bean bag and use it as an impromptu tripod, putting your camera down on parking meters, post boxes, walls, etc. Long exposures and urban environments lead to some nice pictures. Plus the fact that a more stable base gives you sharper pictures anyway.
Fishbane,
The bean bag idea is a good one, but I recently picked up a mini-tripod I’m in love with. It’s about 4″ folded up and has a nifty velcro strap so you can attach it to things as big as a lightpole.
It’s also strong enough to deal with a fairly heavy long lens.
I’ve only just caught up on a week’s worth of Whatever, so I’ve missed this social experiment in Internet anthropology, or something.
[Imprecision seems to be my middle name, these days.]
I do have a keen interest, though, in Munchausen-By-Internet and those who fall for it.
And, damn you, I still come back for more Whatever. Despite your thumb.
Munchhausen-By-Internet.
THAT’S funny.
Well, as Gene Wolfe writes in The Book of the New Sun, “Time has a way of turning our lies into truths”.
Serves you right.
The beanbag idea is good, thanks. I’ve got a tripod, but (a) it is a bit unweildy and not useful for impromptu shots, and (b) NYC is currently on a bit of a misguided warpath against photographers, for “security” reasons (I hear San Francisco, my old home, is doing much the same thing). Looking like a photographer is a great way to get hassled in many parts of the city, and a tripod makes you decidedly less tourist-looking. Not that that’s saved me – having an SLR around your neck is bad enough.
I do spend a great deal of time in the shell, because I write code for a living. (I did get a copy of BBEdit, and it rocks, but somehow I end up still spending most of my time in vi. Muscle memory, and ease of switching between vi and perl/awk/sed/make/ant one liners, I guess.)
But things like Photoshop are inherently mouse intensive. I’m currently scoping trackballs, but being a lefty narrows the options.
Fishbane,
Look over this link. It’s something a bunch of NYC Location Managers and scouts sent around to each other. I believe the guy who wrote and updated it is a lawyer.
http://www.krages.com/ThePhotographersRight.pdf
Since you just admitted fooling us on the toe thing, I shall require a doctor’s note on the thumb.
Man. Oh . . . Man.
I am so glad that I happened to be out performing a social good and missed your bait.
Eddie:
Wish I could claim Munchausen-By-Internet as my own invention.
Alas, the term has been around at least ten years. Long enough for whole communities to have sprung up disproving people’s deaths. And sore toes. And thumbs.
War!?!
Nathan, I never said I didn’t enjoy feeling used and dirty.
Patty:
I’m constantly reminded of the limits of my personal knowledge.I googled it.Over four thousand hits.Wow!
Say,did I tell you about my amazing recovery from trichotillomania?
Well, I am an elected politician, so I already feel dirty and used. Nothing new here. But that thumb, there’s your Karma right there. We all shine on, like the moon and the stars and the sun. Instant Karma is gonna get you.
As for being a man or a mouse, throw some cheese on the floor there and we’ll find out.
Nathan: I don’t suppose you can link that mini-tripod you mentioned? I’m looking for one.
I got it at an Eddie Bauer outlet and it’s not on their site (I looked earlier). I’ll see if I can find it and get back to you.
It’s called “Ultra Pod”. This link is to just one of many sites that list it. (You may find a better price.)
http://www.x-tremegeek.com/templates/searchdetail.asp?productID=11075
Nathan:
That photographer’s rights handout was great, and quite timely. Thanks.
Fishbane, re: trackballs for lefties – I’m a righty, but I use Logitech’s Marble Mouse and it looks like it would accomodate a lefty just fine. The two buttons follow the usual buttons for a mouse, but I believe you can reprogram them to switch. I may be wrong about that, however.
It’s got a very smooth feel to it and it’s so easy to clean the contacts – when I’m feeling especially lazy I just pop off the ball and run my thumb over the contacts to remove any dirt or cat hair.
I love my Marble Mouse so much I want to run off to Mexico and marry it.