From the Department of Reaping What You Sow, Adorable Sarcasm Division
Posted on January 10, 2007 Posted by John Scalzi 23 Comments
Athena: (on my computer, playing a video game) Daddy, I left my pineapple juice in my room. Could you get it for me?
Me: (retrieving the pineapple juice and handing it to her) You are unbelievably spoiled, you know.
Athena: I was hoping you’d say that. That’s the image I’m going for.
Is she spoiled or are you trained?
I meant that in a winking-emoticon kind of way, btw. Not sure that came across in my one-liner.
Wow. I thought I was bad with my daughter. You’re impressively well trained. I’m an ogre compared to you.
You are in for a real interesting Teenager Experinence in a few years.
Good Luck and Enjoy the ride!!!!
Yeah, that’s adorable. Here’s the Wright Household version:
Youngster: (on my computer, playing a video game) Daddy, I left my weirdelectricbluelikewindsheildwasherfluid juice in my room. Could you get it for me?
Me: No, that’s what the pause button is for.
Youngster: Nevermind, I’m not thirsty anyway.
Me 3 days later finding the glass of weirdelectricbluelikewindsheildwasherfluid juice covered in a thin film of grey-green mold in youngster’s room: grumble, curse, grumble.
Lovely Wife: Well, it’s your own damned fault.
This is why I spend a lot of time out in the woodshop.
Father and their daughters, at least regular staff gets tips, dads only get smiles.
No shame in that.
I’ll be in the same boat when (hopefully) I have my first daughter.
It’s why we daughters have such lovely, killer smiles.
Daughters….you gotta love em!
You know, in a few years, if she goes through that teenager parent-hate thing, the whole internet is going to take it pretty hard.
I think me and Jim Wright are having the same experiences but in some parallel universe where he has his wood shop I have my music studio. (Thanks Jim, that made me laugh!) All my co-workers are staring at me now..Umm OK. Time to put my serious face on.
“You know, in a few years, if she goes through that teenager parent-hate thing, the whole internet is going to take it pretty hard.”
Well, by that time she’ll have her own blog, and you can deal with her directly.
I’m amazed that house rules allow Athena to drink juice while on the computer. In our home, beverages and computer keyboards do not peacefully co-exist.
It’s the miracle of the $19 keyboard. Also, she hasn’t spilled yet, and I can’t make the same claim.
You got a like $2000 computer that can run BF2 or FEAR like it’s Word…
and you got a $19 keyboard?
I pity the out-of-her-league guy who, in high school, doesn’t realize he’s out of her league… until it’s too late.
“You got a like $2000 computer that can run BF2 or FEAR like it’s Word…
“and you got a $19 keyboard?”
Yup. I like the feel of the keys when I type, and I type a lot. Not withstanding spending silly money on a computer, I’m pretty pragmatic. If a $19 keyboard feels good to me, I’m going to use it.
I agree. Why pay $50-$75 for a fancy-schmancy keyboard with extra keys I would never use (e.g. a key that opens your browser – I have a shortcut on my desktop that accomplishes the same thing with a mouse click), and that I would have to replace every time Scalzi makes a snarky comment?
As for house rules allowing juice at the computer – well, remember that Athena is unbelievably spoiled. ;-)
That post makes me feel nostalgic. It reminds me of my niece.
Sarcasm children bad combination…it will bite you in the ass. Thanks to Chang who [fill in] for the naming convention.
Sounds just like my daughter. ‘Dad, here’s my little finger, wrap yourself around it!’
The Lanagan household version:
Harry: Mum, would you bring me some FOOD?
Margo: Food’s in the KITCHEN. Why don’t you go in there and choose what you want and get it yourself?
Harry: Because I’m busy playing this game.
(5 minutes later)
Harry: Mum, I’m SO HUNGRY. Would you get me some FOOD?
Margo (who was going to get herself some food anyway, any old second): What’s that word you use, when you want something from someone?
Margo: Try again?
Harry (obsequiously): Pleeeee-ase?
(10 minutes later)
Margo (bringing in food): You’re SO lucky to have me. You know that, don’t you?
Harry (deeply ickily): Yeth, mummy. Thanks, mummy, I wuv you. (kissing noises).
[OK, everybody be sick now.]
Sarcasm is just a sign of superior intelligence, right? Like punning? Right?
My bundle of sarcastic daughter is about to turn eight, and I shudder at the thought of her as a teenager. But I have no one to blame but myself.