From the Department of Reaping What You Sow, Adorable Sarcasm Division

Athena: (on my computer, playing a video game) Daddy, I left my pineapple juice in my room. Could you get it for me?

Me: (retrieving the pineapple juice and handing it to her) You are unbelievably spoiled, you know.

Athena: I was hoping you’d say that. That’s the image I’m going for.

23 Comments on “From the Department of Reaping What You Sow, Adorable Sarcasm Division”

  1. Yeah, that’s adorable. Here’s the Wright Household version:

    Youngster: (on my computer, playing a video game) Daddy, I left my weirdelectricbluelikewindsheildwasherfluid juice in my room. Could you get it for me?

    Me: No, that’s what the pause button is for.

    Youngster: Nevermind, I’m not thirsty anyway.

    Me 3 days later finding the glass of weirdelectricbluelikewindsheildwasherfluid juice covered in a thin film of grey-green mold in youngster’s room: grumble, curse, grumble.

    Lovely Wife: Well, it’s your own damned fault.

    This is why I spend a lot of time out in the woodshop.

  2. Daughters….you gotta love em!

  3. You know, in a few years, if she goes through that teenager parent-hate thing, the whole internet is going to take it pretty hard.

  4. I think me and Jim Wright are having the same experiences but in some parallel universe where he has his wood shop I have my music studio. (Thanks Jim, that made me laugh!) All my co-workers are staring at me now..Umm OK. Time to put my serious face on.

  5. Brandon:

    “You know, in a few years, if she goes through that teenager parent-hate thing, the whole internet is going to take it pretty hard.”

    Well, by that time she’ll have her own blog, and you can deal with her directly.

  6. I’m amazed that house rules allow Athena to drink juice while on the computer. In our home, beverages and computer keyboards do not peacefully co-exist.

  7. Wait, John.

    You got a like $2000 computer that can run BF2 or FEAR like it’s Word…

    and you got a $19 keyboard?

  8. I pity the out-of-her-league guy who, in high school, doesn’t realize he’s out of her league… until it’s too late.

  9. Sean:

    “You got a like $2000 computer that can run BF2 or FEAR like it’s Word…

    “and you got a $19 keyboard?”

    Yup. I like the feel of the keys when I type, and I type a lot. Not withstanding spending silly money on a computer, I’m pretty pragmatic. If a $19 keyboard feels good to me, I’m going to use it.

  10. Yup. I like the feel of the keys when I type, and I type a lot. Not withstanding spending silly money on a computer, I’m pretty pragmatic. If a $19 keyboard feels good to me, I’m going to use it.

    I agree. Why pay $50-$75 for a fancy-schmancy keyboard with extra keys I would never use (e.g. a key that opens your browser – I have a shortcut on my desktop that accomplishes the same thing with a mouse click), and that I would have to replace every time Scalzi makes a snarky comment?

    As for house rules allowing juice at the computer – well, remember that Athena is unbelievably spoiled. ;-)

  11. Martyn Taylor – Northumberland – A writer exploring what lies beyond our peripheral vision. Published by various small presses and now considered to be nearly a Proper Author. Can be found lurking around the frozen North of England, happily herding a small family of recalcitrant adults who may once have been children and a woman who may very well be the fulcrum upon which the universe turns. Available for hire for very reasonable prices.
    Martyn Taylor

    Sounds just like my daughter. ‘Dad, here’s my little finger, wrap yourself around it!’

  12. The Lanagan household version:
    Harry: Mum, would you bring me some FOOD?
    Margo: Food’s in the KITCHEN. Why don’t you go in there and choose what you want and get it yourself?
    Harry: Because I’m busy playing this game.
    (5 minutes later)
    Harry: Mum, I’m SO HUNGRY. Would you get me some FOOD?
    Margo (who was going to get herself some food anyway, any old second): What’s that word you use, when you want something from someone?
    Harry: NOW.
    Margo: Try again?
    Harry (obsequiously): Pleeeee-ase?
    (10 minutes later)
    Margo (bringing in food): You’re SO lucky to have me. You know that, don’t you?
    Harry (deeply ickily): Yeth, mummy. Thanks, mummy, I wuv you. (kissing noises).
    [OK, everybody be sick now.]

  13. Sarcasm is just a sign of superior intelligence, right? Like punning? Right?

    My bundle of sarcastic daughter is about to turn eight, and I shudder at the thought of her as a teenager. But I have no one to blame but myself.

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