Kung Fu Cleaning — The Aftermath

And now, here is Krissy, showing off her cleaning handiwork. Despite the unfathomable mess of my office, Krissy was able to clean in just slightly over an hour, which is not so much an indication that my office was not actually all that dirty as it is an indication that she is just that good at chaos management. Reason #17,592 why I have the most awesome wife EVAR.

26 Comments on “Kung Fu Cleaning — The Aftermath”

  1. Super Mom strikes again! Wow, I hope you’re doing eveyrthing you can to make that woman happy, John. She’s a keeper. And, yeah, Krissy Rocks!

  2. E.C. Myers – I'm a young adult author who spends too much time on the internet. My novels FAIR COIN and QUANTUM COIN were published in 2012 by Pyr Books. http://ecmyers.net
    Eugene

    How long before it’s a wreck again?

  3. Have you gotten her flowers lately? For that she definately deserves flowers, or you could always get her some chocolate. I’m very impressed by the transformation.

  4. Did she do it sashaying to ABBA’s music called “The Cleaning Queen”? Now here is proof that opposites attract – clean loves messy.

    Next time let it go for months and enter the contest for a make-over of the messiest home office (just kidding).

  5. Hey, I want a mini-fridge in my office!

    I gonna print out that picture to show the wife (ammo), and get my own!

    PS – Good to see Fluffy has desktop room again for lounging near your elbow.

  6. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang, father of pangolins

    Wow! Awesome.

    If I showed this to Mrs. Chang as some sort of ammo, I’d get the isht kicked out of me.

    You’re a very lucky fellow, indeed.

  7. Best lyrics ever:
    “I -I don’t believe it! There she goes again! She’s tidied up, and I can’t find anything!”
    (Thomas Dolby – She Blinded Me With Science)

  8. The chair strikes me as uncomfortable. Do you spend more time out of the chair (moving about the house with a laptop for example) than in it? Do you just not have a problem with a chair that has lots of adjusties? When you say this is your office, is it different than the place you spend your time writing (such as having a comfortable “writing place” and then an “office” where stuff like taxes is taken care of)?

  9. Martyn Taylor – Northumberland – A writer exploring what lies beyond our peripheral vision. Published by various small presses and now considered to be nearly a Proper Author. Can be found lurking around the frozen North of England, happily herding a small family of recalcitrant adults who may once have been children and a woman who may very well be the fulcrum upon which the universe turns. Available for hire for very reasonable prices.
    Martyn Taylor

    All I can hear is the laughter I’d get if I asked Cathie to tidy my ‘office’ (by my standards it is pretty damned tidy already – but we are trying to sell the house…)

    Not that I’d ask. I have a Browning attitude towards filing (When asked what a peom meant, Browning replied that when he wrote it two people knew what it meant, himself and God. Now…)

  10. This gives us great insight into you inner sanctum which I can analyze mathematically.

    Given that ultimately the mess created by you is the entropy of the system, and that the disorder of any system is represented by

    Disorder = CsubD/CsubI

    where CsubD (or Disorder) is you and CsubI (or Information capacity) is Krissy.

    AND the Order of a system is represented by

    Order = 1 – CsubO/CsubI

    where CsubO is the Order Capacity of a system (in this case your workroom) and CsubI is the Information capacity of the System

    We notice that you (CsubD) don’t even appear in the Order equation which explains fully why it is that you are not in the room after it’s information capacity has been maximized by Krissy (who does appear in the picture).

    Entropy will begin again once you enter the room.

  11. Oh my god. Krissy is obviously:
    a) a superbeing
    b) a closet alien from the planet Mustbe in the solar system Fastidiously Kleen
    c) an ABBA fanatic
    d) bad news for Martha Stewart
    e) an efficiency nut
    or all five. That’s totally amazing how she did that. I am inspired. I have a desk, but it has five laptops, a charging station organizer, an orderly rack of pens and pencils, and no chair because I like to work standing up. The file system is two-language alphabetical. Scary, I know. Hey, anal retentiveness is a fine lifestyle if you don’t let it control you.

    Martyn Taylor: Then you’re a prose Browning, and so is Browning. ‘Chaos, illuminated by flashes of lightning.’

  12. What about product placement? Was the peanut butter Jiffy or Skippy? Where was the Diet Coke? Have you considered wearing a muscle shirt and posing as “Mr. Clean”? There are endless commercial possibilities here.

  13. olddog299 – Short, fat, ugly troll seeks bridge to haunt and folks needing molesting of the mind. Beware climate change as the Orcs are again ascendant.
    wil

    WORD TO THE WISE: I don’t care if it IS a ridiculous, manufactured holiday celebration of pure commercialism … you have only 10 days to get something really awesome for that wife of yours for Valentine’s Day. Get busy, boy!

  14. This must be catching. After yesterday’s productivity marathon, I was back at it again today. Must be something in the air. I hope it goes away. Our fridge is almost full of goodies and I’m running out of things to clean. It could get ugly…

  15. It’s been said before (most frequently by our beloved host), but Krissy is a real cutie, and quite a keeper.

    You a lucky boy, you know dat ?

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