One Day This Cat Will Find Me and Rip Out My Throat
Why? Because every time its owners get another book of mine, they celebrate by humiliating their cat with bacon. To wit:
This follows this previous encounter involving this cat, my books, and bacon. Make no mistake, this cat will have its revenge. I mean, look at its expression. It’s all laugh while you can, monkey boy. Sadly for it, even if it were to kill me now, there’s already at least one other novel into the publishers, and a total of three new books yet to be released if the owners are truly ambitious.
So, yes, Mr. Cat. Kill me if you must. But know that my bony writing hand will reach out from the grave to drape you with bacon yet again! You might as well let me live.