“The Last Colony” Tour Dates: First Draft

As you all know, I’m doing a book tour this spring in support of The Last Colony. We’re still in the process of packing in dates and appearances and so on and so forth, but here’s what we have confirmed so far:

April 24: Seattle, WA
April 25: Half Moon Bay, CA
April 26: San Francisco, CA
April 27: Berkeley, CA
April 28: Los Angeles, CA
May 1: San Diego, CA
May 2: Portland, OR
May 4: Milwaukee, WI
May 5: Minneapolis, MN

Actual locations and appearance times to come, along with the “official” name of the tour (since so many of you have said “hey, what ever happened with that tour naming thing?”). And as I noted above, we’re likely to cram in a couple more appearances into the tour. But generally, this is where I’ll be and when. Mark your calendars!

68 Comments on ““The Last Colony” Tour Dates: First Draft”

  1. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang, father of pangolins

    Ahem…

    And what of the East Coast, your highness? Is there no love for the East Coast?

  2. Not this time around, I’m afraid. Nor for the south. But, presumably, there will be other book tours. That is, if this one works like it’s supposed to.

  3. Chang, apparently there is not. There is no love of Florida, specifically, I notice.

    Sigh. I’m going to have to move northwest or something.

  4. Yipes! Upon posting, I noticed John had already responded to Chang…

    Scalzi, just consider Florida for a future book tour. We have, like, weather and stuff down here, so you might want to consider scheduling in non-hurricane season.

    Just saying.

  5. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang, father of pangolins

    Chang sad.

    Chang’s perfect day come to crashing end.

    Time to eat rest of brownie’s and sulk through dinner.

  6. It’s a california state tour! Well, that’s good for me, since it means I can probably pop on over when you visit San Fran.

  7. I’m hoping Powell’s in Portland, too. Because then a) I could get there, and b) I could probably find someplace in that big store to stuff my kids (with a friend, of course) so that their impromptu conversations about Elmo and Dora wouldn’t be too distracting from your reading/talk/signing/whatever.

    So, yeah, for Portland!

  8. John, In Seattle – the guy wearing long johns decorated to look like a “unitard”, carrying an AirSoft “bullpup” weapon, all exposed skin surfaces painted green, protuberant nipples… that won’t be me.

    Old Jarhead

  9. Woot! I’ll see you in Seattle then.

    You are the second author in the next 2 months to start their tour in Seattle. Is there a reason for that pattern? Am I seeing patterns where there are none?

  10. Appearing @ Dreamhaven Books when you’re in Minneapolis?

    I’ll be happy to buy you a beer when you’re in town — I should actually be employed by then. *crossed fingers*

  11. I’m putting in a request for Colorado Springs, CO. Or at least Denver. Tattered Cover is a good independent bookstore there, and of course the big chains are there too.

  12. Carol Elaine – Spend my days being creative with acting stuff & cleaning up after animals for money. Spend my evenings cleaning cat puke for free. 'Tis a glamorous life.
    Carol Elaine

    Nope, that isn’t me in the corner, throwing a tantrum because I’ll be out of town when Scalzi makes it to Los Angeles, as I’ll be in freaking San Diego for political stuff. Which means I’ll miss him the weekend after my birthday, which means, hey, sucky birthday – thanks!

    That’s my evil twin Skippy throwing the tantrum in the corner. ‘Cause she’s like evil and spoiled and stuff…

  13. Hopefully your appearance will be better attended and more congenial than when John Ringo came here a couple of months ago at the University Bookstore. Ringo’s “Ghost” series are a Guilty Pleasure for me but I don’t think he bonded with the small band of afficionados. A whiff of Ellisonish attitude? Without the Ellisonish genius?

    Of course since we are all such close friends already (what do you mean just words on a screen, we’re tight! Dude!) we will expect you to be charming,literate, brilliant and charismatic so that we will carry you out of the signing venue on a sedan chair to a suitable watering hole where you can regale us with insider tales of Cons past and the bizarre eccentricities of otherwise respectable authors.

    The actual event will be marked, naturally, by the attempt of us REAL fans to differentiate ourselves from the dilettantes and Johnny (or Jill)-come lately literary arrivistes by asking rhetorical questions in relation to the OMW/GB/TLC world, seeking enlightenment on meaning of the third clause of the second sentence on page 37 of OMW and other such endearing charms.

    Damn! I’m looking forward to it!

    Old Jarhead

  14. Looked forward to seeing you in Portland. I’ve had your Portland visit marked on the calendar since the middle of last month.

  15. Old Jarhead: Speaking for myself, I think you will be completely fulfilled in your expectations, as when I met the Scalzi, he was indeed charming, literate, et al. He is also completely portable and contains eleven essential nutrients.

  16. Darn it, will you ever visit my time zone? (Of course, if you go to Montana that still doesn’t do me any good.)

    Ah, well, at least I can read my copy of Coffee Shop when I should be, you know, writing.

  17. But…but…Pennsylvania is sooo close. You know you want to come to the book metropolis of Harrisburg. …ok maybe not.

  18. Ummm, John, how do you go to all those places and not visit Fresno? Given how your life has transpired since working for the Fresno Bee, I’m guessing that they would do an article on you (and promote the visit).

    Tom

  19. Powells in Beaverton????

    Whimper.

    A weeknight. A work night.

    Dang. So close, and yet so far…no way I can make it over to Beaverton; not when I work up on the Mountain and have to be up at oh-dark-thirty to get there….

  20. It makes sense for you to schedule a stop in Chicago as with all that jetting around you’ll probably have to fly through O’Hare at least once. There will undoubtedly be a delay, so effective time management says you should make the most of it and instead of having six Cinnabons use that time to meet your legions of Chicago fans.

  21. Well, drat. I’ll be out of town when you’re in Seattle.

    I can’t really complain, though, since I’ll be in Prague.

    Have fun, and sell many, many books!

  22. Tell China I said hi, Steve.

    John,

    Just got back from the reading where I delivered your message. When I did, China broke into a big smile and said, “Send him Big Ups back from me.” So, consider yourself “Big Upped.”

    During the signing portion of the evening, I was standing in line behind a girl of ten or eleven and her mom. She chatted for a bit with China while he signed her book and she must have mentioned something about his drawings (he’d brought some to show during the reading) because the next thing I knew China had gotten up, retrieved the folder that held the drawings and chosen out two to give to the girl. She was stunned and delighted at the same time. It was, without a doubt, the coolest thing I’ve ever seen at a reading.

  23. What! Seattle? That’s only like 4 hours away from Anchorage by Alaskan Airlines. Man, nobody ever comes up here. Be the first, John, be daring, be a pioneer, come to Alaska in the winter. We’ve got a Barnes&Nobles, a Borders, and Titlewave – the biggest friggin’ used bookstore you’ve ever seen. Come on, please don’t make me have to beg. You know you want to.

  24. Oh well…
    Just remember when you are in Berkeley, or SF, or Half Moon Bay I would have gladly graced you with my presence ;). But you can always redo your schedule to hit NorCal from the 30th March-7th April. I will be there with family. After that my wife is returning to Austria with me for 10 days….
    Not a chance huh?
    *Sulks*
    Wo ist meine Schnaaps?!?!

  25. Where’s Austin on this list? Waa-haaa . . . !!

    **little-kid tantrum**

  26. I piggyback on claire and lay claim to Scalzi-drinking. Any idea which bookstore(s) in SF yet, John?

    (Also, inquiring minds would like to know how to say “Big Ups” in Chinese.)

  27. To add on to Mr. Wright’s comments regarding Alaska – I can guarantee you a group of 4 that would roadtrip the 400 miles to Anchorage just to bask in your presence.

  28. You come and talk at the Highschool I teach at and I will put you up in swanky Houston digs for two days…there are bound to be some Scif-Fi fans you can visit here in the city that maintains the existence of US space travel.

  29. Hurrah for Scalzi in Seattle! If you’re game/not too busy/remotely interested, I’d be delighted to drag you and yours out for drinks or coffee. Or goth dancing. Or yanno. Whatever. :)

  30. Powell’s in Beaverton?!?!

    Dude, that’s just not right. The Powell’s Powell’s in the Powell’s district of downtown Portland is the motherfuckin’ MECCA of bookstores. If they would accept rent money from me, I’d live there. Plus it’s easily within coercion distance of bars and coffee shops where I could try to buy you a beverage.

    The beaverton location is just a fringe appendage in the middle of the suburban sprawl nightmare that is the festering array of Beaverton writhing hungrily on the corpse of the farmland killed to make way for the McMansion-dwelling throngs.

    Even the Hawthorne district Powell’s massively kicks ass on the Beaverton location, because it’s an old funky neighbourhood, and also surrounded by suitable beverage purveyors. (And one cool pub/theatre offering cheap movies and beer)

    I suspect that the fine beancounters at Powell’s are hoping to drum up interest in their newest location. It’s a pity, and if your tour-coordinator is even the slightest bit hoopy, that frood would definitely try to get you in at the main Powell’s.

    I’m just sayin’.

  31. Old Jarhead said:
    “Of course since we are all such close friends already (what do you mean just words on a screen, we’re tight! Dude!) we will expect you to be charming, literate, brilliant and charismatic so that we will carry you out of the signing venue on a sedan chair to a suitable watering hole where you can regale us with insider tales of Cons past and the bizarre eccentricities of otherwise respectable authors.”

    Having seen John in action at Worldcon last summer, I can assure you that he is at least as hyperactive in person as he appears on your computer screen – I think he operates on a permanent sugar high. In fact, other than certain obvious physical differences, I kept thinking that I was seeing the personification of Miles Vorkosigan from the novels of Lois McMaster Bujold.

    Jim Wright said:
    “Be the first, John, be daring, be a pioneer, come to Alaska in the winter. We’ve got a Barnes&Nobles, a Borders, and Titlewave – the biggest friggin’ used bookstore you’ve ever seen. Come on, please don’t make me have to beg. You know you want to.”

    John might not be as impressed by Titlewave as you expect. Since he grew up in the Los Angleles area, there is a chance he has been to “Acres of Books” in Long Beach. THAT is a used book store in which a bookaholic can get permanently lost!

    With best wishes,
    – Tom –

  32. John, you should definitely try to make a stop in the Seminary Co-op at the U of C. We haven’t had anyone interesting since Obama.

  33. Ditto’ing Kevin: DENVER DENVER DENVER DENVER DENVER!!!!, dammit!

    You can stay with us and annoy our cats and everything! Because your cat-annoying capabilities are tres l33t, and I for one would love to see Uno wearing bacon.

  34. I’m guessing for the Seminary Co-op the 57th Street store would be the spot. Can’t say it would put me out, conveniently located and all. Perhaps it would be a good place to drum up a little demand.

  35. Carol Elaine – Spend my days being creative with acting stuff & cleaning up after animals for money. Spend my evenings cleaning cat puke for free. 'Tis a glamorous life.
    Carol Elaine

    Adam Rakunas, I think John’s appearance in Los Angeles will be at the Festival of Books at UCLA. Unless there’s another appearance elsewhere on the same day.

  36. Don’t forget Sac-Town! We are in need of some Scalzi action in the capitol city. I know its no San Diego with the palm trees and 70 degree days and the beach and all, but we’ve got, um, trees, and um, the Sacramento River! and Sutter’s Fort! How can you pass these things up?

  37. Laura – With five kids, three perfect grandchildren (seriously, aren't ALL grandchildren perfect??), a darling husband, my career as a NICU RN....what else would I be doing but juggling?
    laura

    whoo-hoo! scalzi’s coming to cali….you need to come to the central valley…tracy is a happening place, dude.
    my husband suggestd you stop over for dinner too.
    seriously.
    i’ll be watching for details.

  38. Finally, we’re seeing you in Mpls! The bookstore hosting the signing announced it in their last newsletter, and it’s been on the calendar since then. :-)

  39. Tom, are you under the impression I actually schedule my tour?

    Naah, but such a strong connection…

    However, no science fiction bookstores within 200 miles. Only Borders and Barnes & Noble.

    Tom

  40. OMAHA OMAHA OMAHA!!!

    Ok, your’re worth the drive to Minneapolis.

    Would you autograph my Scathing Review as well as my Coffee Shop? (I just got word that B&N is shipping to today)

  41. OMAHA OMAHA OMAHA!!!

    Ok, your’re worth the drive to Minneapolis.

    Would you autograph my Scathing Review as well as my Coffee Shop? (I just got word that B&N is shipping to today)

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