Sharper Than a Serpent’s Tooth

That’s it. No ice cream for Athena until 2034. Update: Someone’s always protesting.

That’s it. No ice cream for Athena until 2034.

Update: Someone’s always protesting.

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

20 replies on “Sharper Than a Serpent’s Tooth”

Two things:

How is it possible to get an entire troupe of girl scouts lost in the forest with a GPS?

Didn’t your wife just clean your desk? Man, I’d forget her help in your campaign, as I’m sure you’ve been threatened with the same ass kicking we have.

Disorganized. That would be the understatement of the century.

Athena continues to amaze.

Haah! She made me laugh out loud, wwhich is hard today as I had to deal with a moron at Apple look on the internet for my answers instead of him.

Seems raccoons are upset at you. German ones at that. Now whatcha gonna do?

OK, so now I’m in a bind. Before, I was perfectly content with my non-SFWA-membership status which prevented me from entering the fray.

Now, I find myself convinced that I need to find a way to help Athena and keep the Scalzzzzz from wielding power (in a disorganized and generally lost fashion). The thought that is occurring to me is that us “readers” who can’t join SFWA surely outnumber the “writers”, so maybe we could organize a coup if he wins. It’s just a thought.

Either that or we could sabotage the new SFWA tiara, so that we can beam radio waves and control
all of his decisions and actions. (Although we should let him exercise free will while writing, otherwise we’ll run out of good stuff to read).

Out of the mouth of babes…

Hmm, slight misgivings seeing the level of support? Ah, yes, all fun and games while you’re throwing the handgrenades, but once you’re on the receiving end, things change. I fell your pain, brother.

Co-conspirator: “Now that we got rid of the bastards on council, two of us have to step forward to replace them. Volunteers?”

Me: “Hey, where’d everybody go?”

Co-conspirator: “Congrats, Steve, you’re now on council.”

Me: “Rats.”

Oh, and racoon, you have to stew, not grill. Possum is better, though. Woodchuck you need a few days to marinade. Now, squirrel, them’s good grillin’, but you need a bunch of them to make a meal. You’d be surprised how fast you get full on worms though.

A cuskerchuck, noww there’s some fine eating. Days in preparation, but worht the wait. A Maine delicacy. Ask for it wherever Maine foods are sold.

“Seems raccoons are upset at you. German ones at that. Now whatcha gonna do?”

Those are not German Racoon’s. They are Bavarian. Never call a Bavarian racoon a German or else you are at risk of the Bavarian Alpine Tuba band coming to your door at 3:30a. Believe me. It’s painful…

We need an update for the Athena axe-wielding picture, to reflect her actual support for her dad. “Don’t vote for my dad, or I’ll hit you with this axe!” or perhaps the slightly long “Don’t vote for my dad, or I’ll chop you up like the raccoon my Girl Scout troop had to eat when he got us lost in the woods despite using a GPS! (How is that even possible?)”
I second the “Athena needs her own blog”. Seriously.

“Now, did Athena REALLY make this all on her own, or did she have some help from Daddy this time around?”

My 7 year old nephew figured out, all on his own (at least, I didn’t show him), how to get iMovie on my dad’s MacBook to record from the built-in camera.

Now whenever he’s at my father’s house, he’s making “Band of Brothers” ww2 movies with him as the star.

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