Disobeying My Wife

I promised Krissy that I wouldn’t post anything SFWA-related today, but then Theo Black sent along this poster and it was too sweet not to post. I hope she will forgive me.

Since I’ve already gone this far, I’ll also link to a long post where I talk about my real-world publishing credentials and why they’re relevant to being SFWA president over at the ElectionBlog (not a newsgroup). You know you want to read it. Other interesting stuff going on there today, too.

No more SFWA-related posts today, I swear.

35 Comments on “Disobeying My Wife”

  1. Something from the SFWA Election Blog that I’m responding to here, because I can’t over there:

    I am well-known to the next generation of science fiction and fantasy writers […] This relevant to SFWA because I believe my presence as president can help bring these new writers in when they are eligible to join.

    Speaking as one of those new writers, the presence of you or someone with a similar platform at the helm of SFWA is pretty much the only thing that would make me feel like I had a reason for joining SFWA. My current perception of SFWA isn’t all that positive and isn’t of an organization that would particularly want my membership were I eligible to join.

  2. > As I type this, one of my novels is being wrestled
    > over by a number of film producers

    Yay! I know you can’t divulge any ~real~ details on the project, but can you at least tell us which book – please? Pretty please?

    I want to start throwing out wild-ass casting suggestions :-)

  3. Christian:

    I can’t, sorry.

    Also, don’t get your hopes up. Lots of books get wrestled over, fewer get optioned and even fewer make it to the big screen.

  4. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang, for rizzle.

    Will any of the films involve a fist fight between Beyonce and Shakira while Minnie Driver and Valerie Plame look on and occasionally make out?

    Isn’t that part of The Last Colony?

  5. Dammit, you are no fun at all .

    I’m still throwing out my votes for “Agent to the Stars”, like it or lump it!

    Tom Stein
    Played by: Edward Norton

    Michelle Beck
    Played by Scarlett Johansson (there can be no other choice!)

    Miranda Escalon
    I’m thinking Jennifer Lopez (really!)

    Carl Lupo
    Played by Danny Aiello

    Tea Reader
    Played by Rosie Perez (yes, she’ s a little old, but perfect IMHO)

    (as voiced by Eddie Murphy – just for giggles)

    Jim Van Doren
    Played by Jack Black

  6. I don’t know how you wouldn’t list the hot wife and cute kid as credentials. Or did I miss it. It was a long post.

  7. Christian

    Ed Norton and Scarlett Johansson? That will make my The Prestige and The Illusionist confusion even worse. But I could live with that.

  8. You know, I have to say: I’m impressed at how well you and Capobianco have been running your campaigns. There’s no mudslinging, no trash talk — it’s an old fashioned, gentlemanly campaign.

    Could you run for president of the RNC *and* DNC instead, please?

  9. It appears to me that the opposisiton is using the good cop/bad cop routine. Letting the VP be the fall-guy for any negative feelings while the presidential canidate takes the “high” road.

  10. I know you can’t say, but if I had to guess at Christian’s line of questions: I just finished The Android’s Dream. If anything gets made into a movie, it’s gonna be that one. Easier to pull off and would probably appeal to the masses, just in time for an election :)

    If I had to pick a cast: This was wicked hard and it would never happen only because the cost to hire the cast would blow the budget out of the water.

    Dirk Moeller – David Duchovney
    Schroeder – Jason Isaacs (you potter fans will recognize him as Lucius Malfoy)
    Harry Creek – Nathan Fillion
    Heffer – Ian Holm (Omg, don’t even think Bilbo)
    Hayter Ross (old) – Helen Mirrin
    Hayter Ross (young)- Cate Blanchette
    Pope- S.E. Perry (West wing)
    Ben Javna – Alessandro Juliani (Plays Gaeta on BSG)
    Brian Javna – Rodrigo Santoro ( 300 as Xerxes)
    Acuna – Ray Stevenson ( plays Pullo on Rome)
    Robin Baker – Rachael Weiss

    I’d throw Alan Rickman and Kate Winslet in there too, but they’d need parts. And John, you gotta ask to be in your own films as like a bacon truck driver outside Fixer’s shop or something with one line or a really bad reaction shot to what’s happening with the scene.

  11. And now John Scalzi demonstrates his incomparable moral courage in the face of near certain sleeping on the couch for a while by defying and incurring the wrath of the indomitable Krissy, Ruler of All that Good of Scalzi.

    This adds yet another solid reason to vote John Scalzi for President.

    Also, WWJSD?

  12. And now John Scalzi demonstrates his incomparable moral courage in the face of near certain sleeping on the couch for a while by defying and incurring the wrath of the indomitable Krissy, Ruler of All that is Good of Scalzi.

    This adds yet another solid reason to vote John Scalzi for President.

    So if you ever find yourself in the above described situation, just ask yourself: WWJSD?

  13. I’m glad you’re running. You seem like a fun guy.

    I got the SFWA magazine, thought it was boring as hell, never renewed. I don’t qualify for membership yet but if you do get elected, do something about the magazine. Please.

  14. GPIKE wrote:

    It appears to me that the opposisiton is using the good cop/bad cop routine. Letting the VP be the fall-guy for any negative feelings while the presidential canidate takes the “high” road.

    Nah. That just appears to be Antony Burt’s style for everything. I’m not a writer, or even connected with the publishing business in any way, and thus obviously not even a prospect for the most restricted of the SFWA memberships. However, if I were a member I would be quite concerned about his behavior toward other members who question his statements and actions in even the most polite terms.

    I would also be very concerned about the way he keeps dodging questions with vague answers – or no answers at all. IMO, lack of clarity in a written response – particularly when it happens over and over again – is totally inexcusable in someone who claims to be a professional writer.

    Looking on from the outside, I find it ironic that A.Burt is repeatedly making remarks about Scalzi not having the right personality to create consensus and draw other SFWA members into actively working for the organization, but that Scalzi might be useful doing one of the many specific tasks that such an organization needs.

    Judging from the messages that have been posted on the SFWA Election Site – which is all that I have to go on, I have formed exactly the opposite opinion. It appears to me that Scalzi would do well as an officer, and A.Burt would be a real asset as the implementer of a given task that fit his interests and capabilities – but a disaster as an officer.

    From what extremely limited exposure I have had to all of the parties concerned, it appears to me that the ideal combination for the benefit of SFWA would be Scalzi as President and Capobianco as VP, although that is obviously not in the cards for this election. No offense intended to Derryl Murphy, because (if I were a SFWA member) I don’t see any reason I would want to vote against him. It’s just that I really don’t feel that I would have enough information about him to want to vote for him. The problem in my mind would be that I don’t think he has posted enough to give someone a reason to choose him rather than someone else, unless that someone else provokes a negative reaction.

    With best wishes,
    – Tom –

  15. I hope you waited until after she put the stamp on your ballot and mailed it before posting this.

    Otherwise, you know, you might end up losing by one vote, and then wouldn’t you feel silly?

  16. I am eligible to join SFWA. I never have, mostly because I never felt sufficiently enthusiastic about it to go to the effort of copying a contract and getting a money order in US funds and sending it to them.

    I think I’m an example of the people you want to reach out to — so do you want to tell me why I should be in SFWA?

  17. Jo, you live in Canada, right? (Big country, you on one end, me on the other.) I’ll tell you that I’ve been able to help a number of Canadian members with contractual issues, and when I was a new member I also was helped on contractual matters. Canadian members likely don’t need the medical fund, but the legal fund is there and available for all, depending on the need.

    There are other things, but my head is still reeling from legal pharmaceuticals. Please feel free to email me at derrylm AT shaw.ca if you have questions.


  18. “No more SFWA-related posts today, I swear.”

    Yeah, and you promised Krissy too and we see where that went. But I guess you made your point by making no other posts today at all. :(

    (yes, I’m being sarcastic).

  19. Krissy is right.

    Why waste valuable blog space on the SFWA when you can post pictures of the beauteous Ghlaghghee? And Lopsided Cat, too – he’s also awesome.

    The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club requests – no, demands! – more cat pictures!

  20. chang: there’s an Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club? Nobody told me! My own Feline Overlord insists that I join.

  21. Glinda, absolutely there is an Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club.

    Thanks to Scalzi’s refusal to turn this “Whatever” blog business into a shrine to Ghlaghghee and Lopsided Cat the fan club is currently without an official home.

    BTW, I am not chang, not chang.

  22. I’m confused. What does ending the Tyranny of Krissy have to do with becoming president of the SFWA?

    Or did I misinterpret the post title?

  23. Congratulations on the possible film option, John. I hope you have a good entertainment lawyer, well worth the extra 10%. Pray for a bidding war and try to get the screenwriting gig if you can. There’s a bunch of untapped money there for you. Good luck. My only other advice is get as much as you can upfront for the option and script, as so many of these things end up going into turnaround and the back-end money disappears.

  24. One more thing, John. If you’re not in the Writer’s Guild, put it in your contract that the studio will pay your membership fee. Guild contracts guarantee First class airfare, etc. The studio will gladly pay it–they spend more on coffee in a week. The Guild has health insurance—even dental.

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