I Hate Flying

My 12:10pm flight today has been delayed until 11:00pm tonight, and all things being equal, I imagine the airport gods will find some way to poke and taunt me some more. So who knows when I’ll actually get home.

Here, have an open thread. To get you started: Write a haiku about flying. Here’s mine:

Stupid airport gods
Why won’t you let me go home?
This Easter just sucks.

Your turn.

61 Comments on “I Hate Flying”

  1. Where did the rain go?
    There was sun in Ireland
    And in London too!

    Back in N.Y.C.
    There was foul weather and snow!
    Good vacation choice.

  2. LAX is Home
    Stuck between thein weather gods, Oy
    Lament, those Airport Gods

  3. A big metal tube
    Hurtling through the skyways.
    Are you kidding me?

    I travel by air,
    Or that’s what they tell me.
    Does this airport fly?

  4. Scalzi’s homeward bound
    Scalzi’s luggage, not so much –
    It’s gone to Tampa

  5. Schedules designed to
    maximize efficiency
    cause twelve hour delay.

  6. Four hour delay
    on tarmac in thunderstorm:
    I hate JFK.

    My luggage went home.
    I went to Cincinnati
    instead of my bed.

  7. Computers gossip:
    “Look! It’s a sci-fi writer!”
    “Let us mess with him!”


  8. Hail, o airport gods!
    Please finesse the flight schedules;
    I want to go home!

  9. The crawling columns
    At the security gate
    Remind me of ants

    Only difference
    We’re not trapped in glass and sand
    At least, I hope not

  10. Ice storm in Nashville
    Only one deicing truck
    Fours hours sitting

    Sciatia pain
    Sitting, waiting for luggage
    But no more Vioxx

  11. Who’s to say which moves.
    The passengers, or the earth
    Below. I wonder?

    Impossible? Flight
    Heavier than air, aloft?
    How about the birds?

  12. No free in-flight snacks?
    Five bucks for fruit and some chips?
    I’ll just bring my own.

  13. It clearly wasn’t the ariport gods. First, the spam lords cause Scalzi to be delayed, then, they invade Whatever, posting their missives to the masses. I’m sure they love it when a plan comes together.

  14. Oops – not in Haiku form.

    First, Scalzi is trapped
    Then we invade Whatever
    Come look at my patent.

  15. Don’t click on ‘patent’
    or ‘evden eve nakliyat’.
    They are just blog spam.

  16. I love flying. It’s the stuff on the ground I can’t stand.

    So, with that said:

    Looking down at ground
    Worries are lost far below
    But quickly they rise

  17. Shoes off for screening,
    Belt, watch, sweater in bin. Next
    time I’ll go naked.

  18. Civilization,
    Like ants seen from up on high.
    Squish them! Squish them all!

  19. Airports have airplanes
    I hate to fly but more,
    I hate to be searched.

    TSA makes trouble:
    “See the fat old white lady
    Proves we don’t profile!”