Lee Iacocca is One Cranky Old Man

And if you think I’ve been mean to Dubya, you should read this, in which Iacocca, who is (or was, at least) a lifelong Republican as far as I know, takes a hammer to our president. One wishes it were published, oh, three years ago, when it might have done some good, rather than now, here on the downslope of an already impressively downsloped administration. But you make do with what you have, and there is some pleasure in reading Iacocca run over Dubya with a nail-studded K-Car:

You can’t be a leader if you don’t have COMMON SENSE. I call this Charlie Beacham’s rule. When I was a young guy just starting out in the car business, one of my first jobs was as Ford’s zone manager in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. My boss was a guy named Charlie Beacham, who was the East Coast regional manager. Charlie was a big Southerner, with a warm drawl, a huge smile, and a core of steel. Charlie used to tell me, “Remember, Lee, the only thing you’ve got going for you as a human being is your ability to reason and your common sense. If you don’t know a dip of horseshit from a dip of vanilla ice cream, you’ll never make it.” George Bush doesn’t have common sense. He just has a lot of sound bites. You know—Mr.they’ll-welcome-us-as-liberators-no-child-left- behind-heck-of-a-job-Brownie-mission-accomplished Bush.

Mmmmm… horseshit dips.

Seriously, this is what it looks like when an 82-year-old man has a real live moment of catharsis. An 82-year-old man who is coming to kick your ass. I hope to be so stemwinding at that age.

Yes, I’ve Seen the “Quest for the Perfect Bacon Sandwich” Story in the New York Times

All y’all can stop sending me e-mail links to it now, thanks.

I wrote about it over here, on By The Way.

The Last Colony Review in the Pioneer Press


Hmmm. Looks like I’ll have to send my legions of angry spider monkeys to harass this critic:

The good news? ‘Colony’ is good and hard. The bad news: It isn’t quite as much fun. OK, I understand Scalzi could only take the geezer-turned-buff-warrior gimmick so far. But the new novel seems a bit humorless as it pits its heroes against a quasi-Borg adversary amid tiresome astropolitical intrigue.

Blasphemy! Fly, my spider monkeys! Fly!

(Note: please don’t actually harass this critic. For one thing, you’re not a spider monkey. So far as I know. And if you are, you’re not one that is part of my angry legions. Trust me, I know how all my angry spider monkeys write. Please, people, leave the harassing to the professional angry spider monkey legions. It’s their job. They know how to do it.)

My thoughts on the review? It’s fine. I’m now far enough along in my SF writing career that people have their favorite books of mine, which is good, but also means that other books that don’t hit the same combination of pleasure buttons in the same way aren’t going to be enjoyed as much by that person. Since this is the way I approach books by my favorite authors, I can’t be surprised when not everyone loves every book equally, either. This is why I point out this particular review, in fact; it’s a reminder that you’re not going to please everyone (and certainly not every critic) all the time. Sounds like this guy might like The High Castle when it comes out, however; it’s pretty damn funny so far. That is, if my legions of angry spider monkeys don’t get to him first.

As long as we’re talking The Last Colony, a quick reminder that Tower.com is still accepting questions for their interview with me, and by submitting a question you’ll be eligible for their contest, in which they are giving away signed copies of The Last Colony (signed by me, even) to five lucky queriers. Yes, “querier” is a real word. I looked it up.