Yes, I’ve Seen the “Quest for the Perfect Bacon Sandwich” Story in the New York Times
Posted on April 11, 2007 Posted by John Scalzi 22 Comments
All y’all can stop sending me e-mail links to it now, thanks.
I wrote about it over here, on By The Way.
Whatever
FURIOUSLY REASONABLE
WHATEVER
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Over at By The Way, you suggested that bacon is not the point of a sandwich, but is instead a “condiment,” or decoration.
HERETIC! While it is true that bacon makes everything better, it does not follow that bacon’s only purpose is, in fact, to play second fiddle to other foods.
Bacon, even on a sandwich, can (and should) be the primary focus. Are you suggesting that you eat BLTs for the tomato? Of course not. A bacon-cheeseburger for the beef? I laugh in your general direction.
Bacon is how we know that God loves us and wants us to be happy. To relegate God’s grace to a mere “condiment” is heresy, and won’t be tolerated.
K
Over at By The Way, you suggested that bacon is not the point of a sandwich, but is instead a “condiment,” or decoration.
HERETIC! While it is true that bacon makes everything better, it does not follow that bacon’s only purpose is, in fact, to play second fiddle to other foods.
Bacon, even on a sandwich, can (and should) be the primary focus. Are you suggesting that you eat BLTs for the tomato? Of course not. A bacon-cheeseburger for the beef? I laugh in your general direction.
Bacon is how we know that God loves us and wants us to be happy. To relegate God’s grace to a mere “condiment” is heresy, and won’t be tolerated.
K
Did you see what Elizabeth Bear’s doing with felines and ham lately? Interesting results.
I guess, in the grand scheme of things, there are worse things to be known for than bacon-taping.
I find the sheep connection a little more disturbing myself. :)
Here in the US, “bacon” is pretty much only what the Brits call “streaky bacon.” So replicating the perfect bacon butty here will require bacon-related resources that you may or may not be able to find in your local supermarket.
But John, the back bacon that the Brits prefer is what we call Canadian bacon. Not exactly a rarity here in the colonies.
But that’s just one type of bacon. See, the story says they tested four kinds. Four. There’s not that many types of bacon. That’s just madness.
They were treating smoked and unsmoked as two types, and thick-cut as another. They still were only dealing with back bacon and belly bacon…
Well, this is my point precisely. If it’s not smoked (or otherwise cured), it’s not bacon at all.
You’re right – it’s not bacon if it hasn’t been cured. That usually means brining or salting the meat. Smoking is just a preference…
…it’s not bacon if it hasn’t been cured. That usually means brining or salting the meat.
Agreed, and I’ll add another criteria. Bacon comes from pigs. Period. I don’t know what “Turkey Bacon” is, but it ain’t bacon. I’ve also seen “Ostrich Bacon” and the less said about that the better. Then there’s “Canadian Bacon” which is ham, no matter how you slice it. Heh heh.
Okay, you need to check out the Bacon of the Month Club. You can get 12 “artisan-crafted” bacons delivered to your door! So yes, there are far more than 4 different types of bacon.
No, Jim. Canadian bacon is back bacon. Ham comes from the thigh and/or butt (think of where your hamstrings are)…
John H: Yeah but it tastes like ham, and taste is what matters. If location on the beast mattered, ham would taste like ass.
Mr. Wright – May I use “If location on the beast mattered, ham would taste like ass.” as my quote of the day here at work? I’ll attribute it to you (Jim Wright, Palmer AK).
Pretty please, with lardo on top?
Maybe if you throw in some barbecued pork rinds…
On the subject of ‘Canadian’ bacon, after having live in NC for 5 years, what y’all call Canadian bacon, we Canucks call ham. I mean, it might not technically be ham due to the location (as noted above), but it’s still ham.
Now real Canadian back bacon (often called peameal bacon, even though it’s actually rolled in corn meal), the stuff that Bob and Doug MacKenzie we’re always eating is a whole other taste experience. Food of the Gods, on par with regular strip bacon. If one has the opportunity to visit St Lawrence Market in Toronto, many fine examples of a back bacon sandwich may be found.
Jim, don’t tell my butcher that – he’ll try to sell me butt steak for the price of filet mignon…
mmmm bacon
Having grown up in a kosher home, it wasn’t until I was 16 years old that I rebelled and discovered the joy of pig parts.
This pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject.
Anyone else recall Joe Haldeman’s advice that the best way to cook bacon was in the nude, so as to not have the temperature so high as to make the bacon spit?
All I can say is these “experts” didn’t try very hard to find the best bacon sandwich. It looks like they didn’t even give peanut butter or Velveeta a chance! Now there’s a sandwich! Bacon, Velveeta, and peanut butter. (Better on warm toast.)
Speaking of Canadian bacon: If you’re a clueless American tourist up there and order a pizza with Canadian bacon and pineapple, you end up with bacon and pineapple. It’s not uneatable, but it’s definitely not the same thing. (Also a good lesson in multiculturalism.)