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Yes, I’ve Seen the “Quest for the Perfect Bacon Sandwich” Story in the New York Times

All y’all can stop sending me e-mail links to it now, thanks. I wrote about it over here, on By The Way.

All y’all can stop sending me e-mail links to it now, thanks.

I wrote about it over here, on By The Way.

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

22 replies on “Yes, I’ve Seen the “Quest for the Perfect Bacon Sandwich” Story in the New York Times”

Over at By The Way, you suggested that bacon is not the point of a sandwich, but is instead a “condiment,” or decoration.

HERETIC! While it is true that bacon makes everything better, it does not follow that bacon’s only purpose is, in fact, to play second fiddle to other foods.

Bacon, even on a sandwich, can (and should) be the primary focus. Are you suggesting that you eat BLTs for the tomato? Of course not. A bacon-cheeseburger for the beef? I laugh in your general direction.

Bacon is how we know that God loves us and wants us to be happy. To relegate God’s grace to a mere “condiment” is heresy, and won’t be tolerated.

K

Over at By The Way, you suggested that bacon is not the point of a sandwich, but is instead a “condiment,” or decoration.

HERETIC! While it is true that bacon makes everything better, it does not follow that bacon’s only purpose is, in fact, to play second fiddle to other foods.

Bacon, even on a sandwich, can (and should) be the primary focus. Are you suggesting that you eat BLTs for the tomato? Of course not. A bacon-cheeseburger for the beef? I laugh in your general direction.

Bacon is how we know that God loves us and wants us to be happy. To relegate God’s grace to a mere “condiment” is heresy, and won’t be tolerated.

K

Here in the US, “bacon” is pretty much only what the Brits call “streaky bacon.” So replicating the perfect bacon butty here will require bacon-related resources that you may or may not be able to find in your local supermarket.

But John, the back bacon that the Brits prefer is what we call Canadian bacon. Not exactly a rarity here in the colonies.

…it’s not bacon if it hasn’t been cured. That usually means brining or salting the meat.

Agreed, and I’ll add another criteria. Bacon comes from pigs. Period. I don’t know what “Turkey Bacon” is, but it ain’t bacon. I’ve also seen “Ostrich Bacon” and the less said about that the better. Then there’s “Canadian Bacon” which is ham, no matter how you slice it. Heh heh.

Mr. Wright – May I use “If location on the beast mattered, ham would taste like ass.” as my quote of the day here at work? I’ll attribute it to you (Jim Wright, Palmer AK).

Pretty please, with lardo on top?

On the subject of ‘Canadian’ bacon, after having live in NC for 5 years, what y’all call Canadian bacon, we Canucks call ham. I mean, it might not technically be ham due to the location (as noted above), but it’s still ham.
Now real Canadian back bacon (often called peameal bacon, even though it’s actually rolled in corn meal), the stuff that Bob and Doug MacKenzie we’re always eating is a whole other taste experience. Food of the Gods, on par with regular strip bacon. If one has the opportunity to visit St Lawrence Market in Toronto, many fine examples of a back bacon sandwich may be found.

All I can say is these “experts” didn’t try very hard to find the best bacon sandwich. It looks like they didn’t even give peanut butter or Velveeta a chance! Now there’s a sandwich! Bacon, Velveeta, and peanut butter. (Better on warm toast.)

Speaking of Canadian bacon: If you’re a clueless American tourist up there and order a pizza with Canadian bacon and pineapple, you end up with bacon and pineapple. It’s not uneatable, but it’s definitely not the same thing. (Also a good lesson in multiculturalism.)

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