Ha!

You really need to go see the Web site for ArmadilloCon 30, at which I am the Guest of Honor. You’ll understand why when you get there.

I am deeply amused.

26 Comments on “Ha!”

  1. I’m with Steve on the bubbles.

    I don’t know how it is with armadillos in y’alls neck of the woods, but these should have their feet in the air if their Texan.

    Lastly, a Con this far south! To see the book tours of my favorite authors and the prominent con locations I assumed you guys thought we couldn’t read down here.

  2. Douglas,

    Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the armadillo it could be done. If they’re Texan, that is.

  3. That’s AWESOME.

    As for where the “thought bubbles” are emanating from…didn’t someone in that book cause an interstellar incident with farts?

  4. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang O.C., the Original Changsta

    equals teh funny

  5. Carol Elaine – Spend my days being creative with acting stuff & cleaning up after animals for money. Spend my evenings cleaning cat puke for free. 'Tis a glamorous life.
    Carol Elaine

    Love! So much love!

  6. 1. Extremely cool with Haldeman there.

    2. It appears that you are becoming (have become?) a con slut John. Offer a GoH position and you’ll go anywhere and appear with anyone

    3. I hereby announce SADCON to be held in Tacoma in February where the sufferers of Seasonal Affective Disorder, brought to their knees by the lack of daylight and the surfeit of precipitation desperately attempt to break free of this suffocating gloom by telling sheep jokes, fart jokes, and celebrating the intellectual, literary, and emotional freedom inherent in SF. I also hereby invite you to be the GoH for the honorarium of a bus ticket from Dayton and all the food you can eat from the nearest In ‘n Out Burger which, unfortunately, is in Redding CA.

    Old Jarhead

  7. You and Joe H could co-write a book – Old Man’s War goes on Forever (or perhaps not).

    Wonder how I can convince my wife I need to be in Austin next August (a bit tricky, since I live in Yorkshire).

  8. Now that was LOL funny!
    Isn’t it said that “parody is the most sincere form of flattery”?
    They must think quite highly of our Esteemed Overlord, teh Scalzi, yes?

  9. Okay… color me confused. What’s the joke? I see a cartoon of a yellow couch potato on a yellow stuffed chair with green thought bubbles leading to four white armadillo silhouettes of different sizes on a shaded turquoise “sky” background.

    The couch potato is slouched in the chair, holding a (closed) book, in front of an unused footstool and floor lamp.

    And the text says

    “Armadillocon 30
    August 15-17, 2008 | Austin, TX

    Guest of Honor: John Scalzi
    Artist Guest of Honor: Dean Morrissey
    Fan Guest of Holor: Kelly Persons
    Toastmaster: Bill Crider
    Special Guests: Joe & Gay Haldeman

    ArmadilloCon is a literary science-fiction convention held annually in Austin, with several hundred attendees. The primary focus of ArmadilloCon is literary science fiction, but that’s not all we do — we also pay attention to art, animation, science, media, and gaming. Every year, dozens of professional writers, artists and editors attend the convention. Sometimes they come to make deals, but more often they come to have fun!

    3-Day memberships are $30 each until April 25, 2008.
    Make checks payable to ArmadilloCon 30 | PO Box 26442, Austin, TX 78755.

    Download the flyer
    Buy your membership online

    Copyrights and trademarks for any films are held by their respective owners and their use is allowed under the fair use clause of the Copyright Law.
    Copyright © 2007-2011. Sponsored by F.A.C.T. Web design by Kimm Antell”

    Exactly what part of that is funny? Should I recognize that couch potato picture from somewhere?

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