Posted on October 5, 2007
Posted by John Scalzi
Where the hell are my keys?
In your pocket-ses?
Under the cat, under a cloud of anst , under the bacon book,…….
The last place you’ll look.
angst, that was! I think my fingers need more coffee. Nope, couldn’t manage to edit it. I’m sure it’s just me.
I didn’t do it.
Your keys are on your desk by your keyboard, as the picture of the Bacon book from yesterday clearly shows.
Any other problems, just ask.
You know, once I found my keys and I looked one more place, just so I could say they weren’t in the last place I looked.
In your green jacket. No–the other pocket.
— Your Friendly Neighbourhood Surveillance Drone —
So when I started typing my comment, there were none. I hit submit, and mine is 6!
Where you left them.
Your keys are probably at the biweekly meeting for house, car, and boat keys. Did they forget to leave a note? Don’t worry, they’ll probably be back in a couple hours, unless someone brought bagels.
Right on the piano where they belong.
They’re over there.
This is what you get when you piss off your cat. She’s went and hid them.
I have them. In Oklahoma. Sorry.
In the pocket of the pants you were wearing yesterday?
I just found mine under a newly purchased box of coffee flavored Nips.
we hid them ….
myhouse.google.com says: On top of the fridge where you left them.
I saw a set of keys on Route 1 in New Jersey. Maybe they migrated?
In a LOLcat pic, no doubt.
Uh, yer butt?
They’re in the *first* place you looked. You just didn’t look hard enough.
No, really. Works damn near every time for me.
In the pocket of your other jacket, or possibly under an overturned book or magazine on or near your desk.
Ask your wife. She knows.
Under the plant stand. No, I don’t know how it got there. I just know that it’s there.
I did! She didn’t! It’s a friggin crisis!
Hanging by the back door, on the rack, where they belong. Oh wait, those are mine. Sorry.
Yesterday’s pants . . . yesterday’s bathrobe . . . yesterday’s flip-flops . . .
Somewhere there is a very similar John Scalzi with two sets of keys, identical down to the nicks and thumbprints. And today on that very similar Whatever, there is a very different post.
I recently lost my keys for about a week. When I found them, they were between the wall and the little bookshelf thing where the key bowl sits. I’d check there (or its equivalent in your home). And then check again.
She didn’t know because they are in her (purse, backpack, briefcase) and she didn’t check.
I should think you would be frightened if any one of us actually knew where said keys were.
Told you to stop playing with them wormholes, dude.
Why don’t you just ask the cat? She sees all, knows all, and is laughing at you right now.
ZOMG, I bet they’re in the Creation Museum!
Go there right now and find them!
Oh, and while you’re there you might want to take some notes, so you could like write like a report, or whatever.
p.s. They might be in the same place you found them last time you lamented that they were lost. Wasn’t that about two months ago?
Taped to your back. The cat was going to post a picture of it to the internet, but got distracted and wandered off.
You know those weird catalogs full of overpriced, ridiculous merchandise? They sell flashing, beeping keychains that activate by remote.
Which would be all fun and games until someone misplaced the remote. Then it would be hilarious.
They are in hiding so you will be forced to stay home and write The High Castle.
Check the freezer, that’s where my lost books show up!
Here are some places to look.
Or, you could pick up this application.
I actually lost my keys this morning. They were in the bag I don’t remember packing for work. After I found the keys and admonished the little mysterious elves, I sent them your way with instructions consisting of the keywords, Cheese, litterbox and books.
In a recliner/couch/chair you have sat in. On table/floor beside same. Beside one of the toilets. Under the bed, beside the bed, in the hamper or wherever yesterday’s clothing with pockets is. Still in the door, where you unlocked it to come in the house.
Real life needs a search function.
And, as a bonus parent offering: Last time I used them, I put them back where they belong.
Did you check the litter box?
(Yes, I already saw the newer post…)
Under the sofa cushions (standard response of one of my friends, no matter what is missing).
Here, they’re usually in the pocket of the jeans/coat I was last wearing, or underneath whatever I brought in from outside.
That “We’ve Got a Good Signal” sure looks weird from where I am sitting. It’s a veeeeeery long white page.
Which is a pity as I wanted to whine about the fact that the RSS feed I’d subscribed to for ages went dead, and I only now discovered you’d actually started posting again. With a new feed. I felt so excluded.
Anyway, before I become overly familiar on the blog of a complete stranger: you might want to set up a 301 redirect to handle that.
Oh, yeah, off topic. I know.
Taunting the tauntable since 1998
John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, contributor – AMS
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