Kodi, Lost Deep in Thought
Posted on October 21, 2007 Posted by John Scalzi 49 Comments
Is she thinking:
a) “Did I leave the gas on?”
b) “I really do think everything is better with steak”
c) “That squirrel doesn’t look like it gets chased nearly enough”
If d), please insert your suggestion below.
“There’s nothing good to read in this house.”
Hey, she said it, I didn’t.
“Why does he never put bacon on me?”
“Oh God, this pelt makes me look like Norman Mailer.”
“Why do bad things happen to good doggies?”
“That bald dude with a camera is seriously starting to get on my nerves.”
“I like bacon, I like cats, but do I get even one bite? NooOOOoo!”
“You know what’s weird? You can’t look something up in the dictionary if you can’t spell it. That’s weird. Huh.”
“If Intelligent Design really is the way things are, why the hell did the designer give me all this extra skin around my eyes? I can barely see to chase a squirrel!”
Drawing from another thread:
“Hmmm. What’s my racial default? Dunno. We’re all just dogs, aren’t we?”
Food. Food food food food food. Tired. Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy. Hey! What’s that? Food. Food food food food food.
1) Who hasn’t rubbed my belly lately? Let’s go sniff them and look pathetic. Better yet, just stay here and look pathetic.
2) If I just wait a little longer, the bunnies made of cheese will appear (http://scienceblogs.com/principles/2007/01/bunnies_made_of_cheese.php)
“Our country, and the entire international community, cannot stand by as a terror-supporting state fulfills its grandest ambitions…. We will not allow Iran to have a nuclear weapon.”
No, wait, your dog’s probably too smart to be writing checks with her mouth that she can’t cash anytime soon because she overextended herself on two fronts. Never mind, then.
D. I wonder if the iPhone commercial is truly implying that an iPhone allowed a pilot to get the plane off the ground sooner by checking the weather on weather.com.
Damn it, Scalzi, that “On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog” stuff only works if you don’t post my picture! I mean, really.
“You’re not going to eat that all by yourself are you?”
Hey, remember the time that cake fell on the floor? Huh? Huh?
“I don’t know what this whole thing about Beggin’ Strips being like bacon is all about. They taste nothing like real bacon. In this house I get real bacon. Why don’t all dogs get real bacon? Is it a kosher thing?”
“Oh God, here comes another blog apperance.”
Yes…look deeply into my eyes……, Oooops, I mean look deeply in the general direction of where my eyes are!!!
You are going to give me BACON!!!!!!!
“I keep thinking it’s Thursday.”
TIGER, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
d) How long until winter? I mean, come on, it’s past the middle of October! You think I’m wearing this fur coat for fun? Bring on the snow!
“I’m the center of the universe”
Is that an Akita?
“I think I could play Smokey the Beat if they remake his films”
Have you seen Laurie?
“It’s too damn hot.”
“So THAT’S why Dumbledore never married!”
“Did you know that Neville is into Tentacle Porn?”
“I really should call my broker Monday morning. Pork belly futures look interesting.”
Something interesting better happen soon or I am going to whig out.
“I’ve been on the Atkins diet since forever, but I still have eyebrow chins…”
“Where is the Beauteous Ghlaghghee? Life is not worth living unless I can worship Magnificent She all of the time. Why is Scalzi wasting time taking pictures of me when he could be taking pictures of Her Shimmering Radiance? What a bozo.”
The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club
“Why do i look like a cat wearing a dog mask?”
d) peripheral vision is overrated.
Unless you are bringing food, go away.
I recall a Bloom County strip which asked exactly that question of Rosebud, the basset hound. We learn the answer in the final panel:
“Tomorrow I get to poop again!”
I just can’t shake the feeling I’m supposed to be in the Yukon, pulling a sled.
Am I looking at my dinner or the dogs?
Am I looking at my dinner or the dog’s?
Oh! Heyyy! I totally get that apostrophe thing!
“I bet I get more comments that that silly cat. “
“What’s the frequency, Kenneth?”
“Does this color fur make me look fat?”
d) “I *told* him, use the 5-iron. Do they ever listen to me?”
– Chris, who wonders whether the grounds of Chez Scalzi would accomodate 18 holes or just nine…
Don’t bother me..
I am looking at all the purdy phosephones…
I am ferocious. I am noble. I am a descendant of wolves! Hey, a cupcake!
WTF? Here I am posing around the house all week waiting for annoying guy to take my picture. I especially liked the pose I did with annoying guy’s get. But nooo. He waits until I am sitting on my ass and resting.
Annoying guy better get his act together or we will have a new genre. Bacon on him!
Or, possibly, ” ? “
“Is there any greater irony that we dogs have long understood string theory and we sit around doing the calculations in our head for fun, yet our lack of opposable digits keeps us from being able to open simple refrigerators and operate trivial stoves so that we can make our own bacon? How could nature make us such noble geniuses trapped in useless fur?
Oh wait, I did see a greater irony on Icanhazcheezburger.com the other day. Oh yeah. Now THAT was ironic. Why did I forget about that? Must be the lack of bacon.
“What do you mean no white socks after labor day?”