What I Did With My Saturday
Posted on November 10, 2007 Posted by John Scalzi 53 Comments
I took care of some delayed business:
Full write-up in the next couple of days. And pictures. Because I took, oh, about five hundred.
Whatever
FURIOUSLY REASONABLE
WHATEVER
Taunting the tauntable since 1998
John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, contributor – AMS
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Bwa-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!!1111!!!!!11!!1!1
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!
*does the dino dance*
(rubs hands together) Awesome!
And here I was, beginning to lose all faith in the man.
(slavering in anticipation…..)
While John was in the creation museum #1 Ohio State lost, at home. Coincidence?
Oh noes! That reptasauropod is about to eat a coconut!
Oop, wait. That’s John’s head.
My bad. Carry on.
I don’t think those are real dinosaur bones behind you.
Hoo boy.
I am so PYSCHED for this one. w00t!
Excellent…
Love the Fort Townsend sweater, by the way. Did anyone give you flack about it?
No. Why would they?
Cool statue of a coconut eater behind you.
Hawesome!
Yaaaaaaaay!!!!!!
You better have pictures and a witty account, and possibly an affidavit from your wife–forgive me, but I know how talented you are with Photoshop….
But seriously: I’m looking forward to reading the writeup.
EXXX-cellent. *Mr. Burns finger-steeple*
I am so looking forward to your writeup of your visit.
Heeeeeeeeee!
Can. Not. Wait.
w00t w00t!
I’m trying to convince the religion department that they want to give me class credit for making a trip over there. They probably won’t go for it, but there’s only one way to find out…
I like the new background. It’s all autumny.
I like PixelFish’s idea of the “dino dance.” I imagine it looks like something from thriller, with the hands tucked up near the chin/upper torso.
[does the dino dance]
PS – I, too, would like to compliment the new background. Not only is it in season, it also reminds me of the Anabaptists you have living around you there in Ohio and thier quilts.
Anne: Maybe I should video tape it, but it involves putting your hands into tiny claws and scratching feebly at the air while swinging your tail violently.
Damn right! I paid for this privilege and I want the full Scalzified writeup! WOOHOO!
PixelFish: Sounds good, but give me the TriceraStomp any day — hands to your forehead with index fingers out and slam sidelong into each other until you’re laughing so hard you can’t breath. Or until somebody starts bleeding. Now that’s a man’s dance. Can be combined with the Bronto Boogie.
Wow. It’s awe-inspiring to know that God put that fossil dinosaur there specifically to test our faith.
HAH! Cool. (Finally!) I can’t wait for the write up. I’m anticipating much sarcasm.
Jeff,
I believe you’ve left out the worthy VelociraptorRomp and the Masta-DooWaWomp.
Don’t be a Hayta.
You people are going to be surprised when that write-up is pro-creationism.
Along with the price of admission, they include free ice cream sundaes topped with AquaDots.
Who knows what really happened there?
Ohboyohboyohboy! I await the Scalzi Report plus photos with bated breath!
This will be about as sporting as Cheney’s fake quail hunt, only with fewer shotgunned lawyers. I presume.
Perfect news to cap the best Saturday _evar_. Thank you!
It’s hard to bate one’s breath and practice the DinoDance and TriceraStomp, but that’s what I’ll be doing in the meantime.
w00t!
Well, umm… err… Fort Townsend’s pretty much a hot place for fossil hunters and people who are looking for things that are more than six thousand years old.
Now that that’s out of the way, we can make plans for sending you to the Astrology Museum in Copenhagen, the Witchcraft Museum in Boscastle, and the Alchemy Museum in Kutná Hora.
But you’re gonna need to raise a lot more money….
EXXX-cellent. *Mr. Burns finger-steeple*
MWT stole my comment. But I can still do the dino-dance!
*scratches feebly, swings tale*
Yes, my children, I was pleased to see John go to the Creation Museum and eagerly await his write-up of it.
Why, do you ask, does the Son of Man want Scalzi’s opinion on the Creation Museum?
Please. I was there. Right off the bat, I can tell you it took us longer than six days to put the Universe together – I mean spare parts are hard to find, and Gabriel – he’d the one who came up with putting supermassive black holes at the center of galaxies to hold them together because the superglue was putting us over budget – Gabe kept changing the design plans every other day.
Have you ever tried to get parts for a blue star? Well have you? Those things burn out in less than a billion years, so getting parts from the boneyard’s a bit tough.
Anyway, the whole “T Rex ate coconuts” thing really chafes my shorts, so I’ve opted to stay home on this one. However, I really do want to see what John thinks. Who knows? Maybe Cincinnati will finally have a tourist attraction. Dad knows we can never get Satan to at least inject some sin and iniquity there. Satan says the place bores the hell out of him, and he’s sick of Delta price gouging him at CVG.
I’m giddy!
33: J.C., you’re not familiar with the great works of the former mayor of Cincinnati, are you? Ask your biological father about Jerry Springer some time, and ponder whether that might qualify as “But Cincinnati already had Las Vegas’s share of sin!”
P.S. I’m not one of your children, either by choice or by ancestry; it’s more like you’re one of my cousins, x-times-removed. Would you please knock off the the claims that we’re all “your” children? It’s almost like you’re trying to compensate for something…
Hee! PixelFish, that was exactly what I imagined! I also like Jeff Hentosz’s description of the TriceraStomp, particularly the laughing so hard you can’t breathe part. :D
33: JC, didn’t you know that Cincinnati has traditionally kept its vices across the river in Newport, KY? The bars, the strip clubs, and the politicians could all be found there late at night. Of course Satan found te city itself boring. All the fun was across the river.
The son of Zacharias and Elisabeth in the New Testament. John was sent to prepare the people to receive the Messiah (John 1: 19-27).
Isaiah and others prophesied of John’s mission, (Isa. 40: 3).
I’m prepared to receive thy message, woohoo (Kelsey 11:07)!
Jabba-dabba-dooo!
:D
Wow even that statue out front looks lame.
TAKE THEM TO THE CLEANERS
Janiece: MWT stole my comment.
Did not. It was lying right out there in the open, begging me to take it!
*does the chicken dance*
WaaaHooo! I can’t tell you how much this tickles me. I await the post with your observations and opinions with bated breath. Such sweet, sweet agony…
Bwahaahaahaaa….
Whee! Truly looking forward to the write-up.
Side note: Did anybody else look at the picture and imagine a couple of hands reaching down to pick up the dino-statue to make it pretend to eat John; while voicing over John by saying “Curse, your sudden but inevitable betrayal”?
“JC, didn’t you know that Cincinnati has traditionally kept its vices across the river in Newport, KY?”
Yeah, if we get stuck in Cincy together on business, Ol’ Scratch and I will usually hit Bar Louie on the Levee together.
And John, you’re right. We both caught Jim Winter at the Levee in Starbucks with his laptop. He wasn’t fooling anybody; I don’t care what he says.
I debated chastising him for either attempting adultery or bearing false witness, but since he wasn’t fooling anyone, I just took it as proof you people need to canonize Chuck Darwin.
Just as soon as he stops beating me at golf. He’s worse than John Paul I AND II when a sand wedge.
I eagerly await your take on Creation in Covington. Paid a visit this past June while the sod was being laid and the paint was still tacky. Very creepy place. What did you think of the crack security force? Catch the clever interpretation of incest? Did you get to the kiddie side of the exhibit? These are people who definitely need to be “Left Behind.”
Hey, JC: You want to get under Darwin’s skin for a laugh? Next time, tell him you heard he killed a marine iguana while chipping balls off the deck of the Beagle. He didn’t really; he just gave it a nasty whelt, but my second cousin’s father-in-law’s great-great uncle, who was a carpenter’s mate and witness, wrote that that anecdote used to really tick Charlie off.
(Why did I put an “h” in my “welt”? *shrug* It’s a mystery, not unlike creation itself.)
At last! At last! Mwahahahahahahahahahaahah, and so on.
JC: What, you never heard of Slartibartfast’s place, “Your Worlds, Inc.”? They sell some amazing DIY planet, star, and nebula kits. There’s a freezer full of comets, and bins by the cashier for meteors, asteroids, and such. Plus, they give away two white mice with every galaxy (coupon required).
Was it fun? Did it live up to expectations? Can’t wait to read the writeup!
no pressure, John…
“Curse, your sudden but inevitable betrayal”?
I love that line, Mark @ 43.
Casey: “What, you never heard of Slartibartfast’s place, “Your Worlds, Inc.”? ”
We tried that and also that Wal-Mart DNA John complained about some time back. Now you know how Genesis, evolution, and entropy combined to cause Andy Dick, most of George HW Bush’s children (Hint: That includes the one living on the ranch), and all oil company executives.
Oh, and sorry about that heat death thing. We hope to have it resolved in the next release, Universe 3.0. If we get enough requests, we might even bring back Elvis. (Hey, we were big fans long before he was even planned. He’s just that good.)
Er… Um… I was borrowing Jim’s account to post that. Yeah, that’s it.
[I’m… Er, um… Jim’s going to hell, isn’t he?]