More Proof We As a Culture Have Come to the Very Ends of Our Rope

Kitty Wigs.

I’m just gonna go ready my Apocalypse Preparedness Kit. Because apparently I’m gonna need it real soon now.

33 Comments on “More Proof We As a Culture Have Come to the Very Ends of Our Rope”

  1. Why, oh why? And how does the cat stand for it? Is it anesthesized and only has its eyes open because its lids were stapled to its eyesocked?

  2. Psssh. No worries, brother. It is its own punishment. As I’ve heard happening with Easter grass, within 48 hours of receipt some doof with more money than brains will be gently extracting strands of poo-covered wig hair out of an upset kitty’s bu’hole. And hopefully getting scratched raw to boot.

  3. Dear god, no. All that needs to be paired with is a charming cashmere KittyCoat and the apocalypse would indeed be nigh.

    Also I suspect the cat is either drugged or stuffed. I mean, come on, its a cat. If you make it look ridiculous a cat will give you the “You will die in horrible yet unanticipated ways when you least expect it” stare. That cat just looks stoned.

  4. Egads, if the cat was wearing it willingly, it’d be a reverse-furry situation. Which is just wrong.

    Who am I kidding, the whole thing is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

    Now, maybe if kitty had a glow stick necklace/collar, we’d be on to something. Maybe… Raver kitteh? No. No no no no no.

  5. Y’know, now that I’ve thought about it, that picture does look just sinfully fabulous with your wintery background.

  6. lannalee – Westbrook, Maine – Lanna Lee Maheux is a speaker, podcaster, actor, geek, silly person, femme fatale, singer, lover, twit, and recovering Stand-Up Comic. Host of the podcast Lounging with LannaLee. Since 2010 she has co-hosted The Lex and Lanna Show with Alexis Lyon. In 2011 she and her husband Edmund, started their own bi-weekly podcast, The Bureau of Awesome.
    Lanna Lee Maheux-Quinn

    Well, at least it’s not as slimy as bacon…

  7. I don’t believe the Kitty Jesus ever walked the Earth telling the feline faithful to turn the other cheek. I believe the cat motto is ‘The Food Ape shall Pay’.

    I mean is putting a wig on your cat really worth finding mice guts on your pillow? Or your favorite shirt shredded? And I hope the obviously deluded person who believes himself the ‘owner’ of that cat doesn’t have stairs.

  8. Carol Elaine – Spend my days being creative with acting stuff & cleaning up after animals for money. Spend my evenings cleaning cat puke for free. 'Tis a glamorous life.
    Carol Elaine

    Eddie Clark, you mean something like this?

    TransDutch, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but at least the cats wigs are way less cheesy than the dog wigs.

    Then again, the proprietors of both stores should be properly punished by their pets. With lots of scratches bathed in lemon juice.

  9. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang O.C., by any means necessary

    Huh.

    Do these count as merkins?

    Thank you! Thank you! I do all my own stunts!

    Oh and the picture is so NSFW (to link to the previous Susie Bright Entry).

    Now I just need a pimp comment and I’ll make the Whatever trifecta today!

  10. Well now, I do know a dog who would love an assortment of wigs, as he begs to have his owner (a ten year old) put her doll’s wigs on him, literally. He’d wear the clothes if he could, too.

    But cats? And she wants HOW much for those things?! I think that’s the worst. If I can get a decent wig that’s cut much better from Amphigory for $30, why would I pay $50 for THAT?!

  11. spacejock – Simon Haynes is the author of four Hal Spacejock novels, a number of articles on writing and publishing, and several short stories, one of which collected an Aurealis Award in 2001. He divides his time between writing fiction and computer software, with the occasional round of golf thrown in for a laugh. Born in the UK and raised in the south of Spain, Simon emigrated to Australia with his family in 1983. He's a founding member of Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, and lives in Perth with his wife and two children.
    Simon Haynes

    Every day I wake up to the hope that the human race isn’t just a blight on the universe. And every day I go to bed convinced that it is.

  12. Wow, if I ever tried to put a wig on my cat I they would find my horribly mauled corpse 3 days later when the neighbors starting complaining about the smell…

  13. That is almost as bad as taping some bacon to a cat. No, honestly, I heard some guy on the internet did that.

  14. The, uh, “model” is a cat named, and I am not making this up, Chicken.

    The picture with her wearing the pink wig makes her look even more stoned. Someone’s been hitting the catnip a little hard…

  15. I know it’s wrong, but I think I want one for Christmas. I can just see my bf giving me that look now as I take pictures and video of his cats with wigs…

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