Posted on December 3, 2007
Posted by John Scalzi
Sometimes, it’s fun to taunt people.
And that’s all I’m going to say about that at the moment.
But if you have something to say about it, go right ahead.
Indeed. It is especially fun from outside the range of possible physical violence.
Just make sure you can take it if you intend to dish it out.
Oddly, though, isn’t the notion of taunting a pretty big facet of the typical Christmas? I mean, the person you love sees a great, big box beneath a tree. The box is wrapped and questions are asked again and again.
So, really, John, this is the time of year to taunt the ones we love.
I haven’t a clue what you could be possibly talking about.
Also, I, Marie of Roumania, personally met the ancient astronauts who built the Pyramids.
Elderberries. That’s all I’ll say for now.
Let me guess. You have access to either a) outrageous amounts of cheap energy, b) highly efficient robot probes, or c) a magic wand, and you’re refusing to share them with Charles Stross.
Blackguard. I hope they go Von Neumann on you.
Is this a reference to the Megan Meier case?
“I felt a sudden disturbance… as if billions of electrons crashed into a modem and were silenced.”
Methinks someone turned in the draft revised copy for their upcoming book.
All I have to say to that is: Taunt!
I don’t know if anyone will get the reference, but
Taunt Aminella!Taunt Aminella!
I know Tanta Kringle from Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town. Is it like that?
Or is it closer to what Hawley said: like, you finish a novel weeks ahead of schedule, but decline to send it to your editor for the time being?
Have stick, will poke, eh?
“http://Scalzi.com/Whatever/”: Full bodied. For the discriminating palate. Brisk with a light acidity. Notes of “you kids get offa my lawn” and “here’s where I let my hair down . . . metaphorically speaking”, complement the buttery “here’s how to write” goodness. The finish is strong, snarky, and fully refreshing.
Fred, second word, hamster. Now go away or I will taunt you a second time.
Well I don’t feel taunted at all. not in the least. not one teeny tiny bit. Uh-uh. Nope, not me.
Really. I don’t. Perfectly secure, happy and content, here. In fact, I’ve got no interest at all in whatever Scalzi’s holding back. Maybe its a contest. Maybe some witty Photoshopery. Who knows, maybe Athena has made a new video astronomy lesson. Could be anything. The point is, I’m not curious at all. Nope, not me.
C’mon, John. Tell me!
That is the educational content for the day.
I fart in your general direction.
I’ve been working out, trying to get a taunt stomach.
The anger that wells within the pit of your soul surely has spilt over into the realms of reality! Pity that you have found no solace in the venom of your words.
Yeah, it sucks.
Some people just need taunting, ya know?
Taunting is fine as far as it goes, but whatever happened to crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of the women?
Is this about High School French class — la plume du mon taunt et sur le table, etc.? *
I haven’t been around enough to know whom here to taunt, but I am willing to learn.
* I never actually took High School French, as you may have deduced. I wanted to take German, but they didn’t offer it, so I didn’t take Spanish, either.
I got some iiiice cream, I got some iiiice cream…
It’s nice that you’ve been able to have so much fun lately.
Lis Riba: Have another popover, Froggy.
(Which no one else will get, either.)
I find scant reason to taunt such a bunch of slack-bellied drooling basement-dwellers other than this: without suitable prodding, you would never rise to the level of mediocrity you could sustain, languishing instead in a pool of bodily secretions of unspeakable and odious origin, rising only briefly to survey a puerile post or whiff of a swing until you sink back, exhausted from such meagre effort into the effluvium of your origins, lapsing into grandiose and wholly unmerited delusions of self-import, and imagining a time when you could merit the expenditure of oxygen and nutrients which have sustained you to date.
My, what a delicious looking repast. Pass the repast, please!
(30ish years on, and we *still* quote it at the dinner table… ;-))
Oh. You mean you’re taunting us?
I was waiting for an update telling us about some ignoramuses who were put in their place.
Guess now I have to imagine what you said to the imaginary ignoramuses.
KIA @ 25:
***applauds a lot***
That reminds me — didn’t The Whatever formerly use the tagline, “Taunting the tauntable?”
Still does. I just need to reinstall it.
Just be careful, John. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Later, maybe ;)
Taunting the tauntable since 1998
John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, contributor – AMS
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