Saturday is for Plotting

And writing, and maybe doing a little editing.

See you all tomorrow.

32 Comments on “Saturday is for Plotting”

  1. Yah, are we talking plotting in the sense of mathematician/physics guru, or evil dictator?

    If it’s the second, liberal applications of horse-radish/wasabi is a great, non-lethal way to get your enemies to talk, after of course, the watery eyes and burning of the internal nasal cavities subside.

    Holy God is that stuff bad in big quantities. Don’t ever mix it with your rice if you just happened to have enough left over. The rice does NOTHING, nothing I tell you, to mask the effects!

  2. I don’t know, John. Why do you keep doing this deadline thing? Aren’t you big enough like Rowling not to have deadlines anymore?

  3. Even Rowling had a deadline– if the next book didn’t come out soon enough, legions of book-deprived fans would march on her house, shouting and waving serving forks for lack of any more serious cutlery.

  4. And possibly for fixing

    Warning: fsockopen() [function.fsockopen]: unable to connect to in /homepages/43/d110299596/htdocs/whatever/wp-content/plugins/wassup/main.php on line 748

    at the top of the page?

  5. Don’t worry about that. It’s a harmless and occasional glitch. The only reason you see it at all is that the front page here is cached.

  6. FrancisT @7: And possibly for fixing

    Warning: fsockopen() [function.fsockopen]: unable to connect to in /homepages/43/d110299596/htdocs/whatever/wp-content/plugins/wassup/main.php on line 748

    at the top of the page?

    Yeah, what the heck is that, anyway?

  7. I have an idea! Do your plotting here, John. Think out loud, as it were.

    Sure, sure. As they come to you, run your notions up the ole Whateverpole. We’ll weigh in — approving, rejecting. We’ll debate and argue. We’ll riff on them on several disjointed Whateveresque threads and make LOLZoës out of them, then later this evening you can go out to your garage and shoot yourself.

    Whoops; hang on a minute… My idea seems to have gone off the rails somewhere along the line.

    I’ll be back.

  8. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang, on Safari

    But you said we’d go to the zoooooo!!! You promised!!!

  9. Saturday is for plotting: See, I took that as an order – not a description of what Scalzi was doing with his day. I.e. Minions, go forth and plot…then write the plotting down, if there’s time – edit.

    So, I’ve been compiling a list of all of the people who have done me wrong, and then plotting revenge on each. It’s a long list, the plotting could take all weekend.

  10. But Saturday is for welding and fixing verilog modules and rearranging the shop because try as I might, the time slider just
    places me back to moments where I haven’t done all the stuff so I just have to do it all over again. It doesn’t rollover, or back it seems.

    So the Zoo is definitely out for me, at least until this is resolved.

  11. Hey Jim,

    Ya’know, that fermented bear grease can make you see things. You might want to get a little fresh air.

  12. No no no. Weekdays are for plotting. Saturdays are for executing said plots, and Sunday, well, that’s sitting around watching the plots come to fruition day, and the game(s).

  13. Crap. I’m out of sync. I thought workdays were for plotting and Saturdays were for executing. No? If I get executing at work, I’m going about it in such a way as to make one of my fellow Texas Exes look like a piker. I don’t need no stinkin’ tower.

    [Note: Dear No Such Agency, if this post should happen to trigger your TIA ‘bots to pass this along, I’m only kidding]

    –I’m not usually this paranoid, but my tinfoil hat broke.

  14. booksellerbynight – This is Patty Cryan's book blog, a place for her to put her book reviews and things. It is a mirror site for her LiveJournal site at ["What's a JOATAMON?", you may ask. And many of you do. It's an acronym for "Jack Of All Trades and Mistress of None", and was the name for my hypothetical rock band, back when everyone and their brother had a hypothetical band.] [Some of my Gentle Readers actually have not-so-hypothetical rock bands. But this is a book blog.] ABOUT THE BLOGGER: Patricia M. Cryan is, by turns, a retailer who never sleeps, a walking library of children's literature, and a freelance editor who makes strong folk cry at regular intervals. She serves as General Partner for Mike's Comics [], a mail order and Internet company in its 31st year of operation, which carries comic books, science fiction and fantasy books and collectibles, roleplaying game supplies, fantasy greeting cards, and much, much more. She has been active in bookselling since 1987 and is a member of The New England Children's Bookselling Advisory Council. Her most current literary project involves editorial work on THE EDGECLIFF STORYBOOK; an excerpt can be found at Please feel free to comment, or to e-mail me.
    Patty Cryan

    The author, he plots.

    Better than plotzing, I guess.

  15. How to know when you’ve made it big time:

    Write nothing much on your blog and see if people still drop in to comment. You know. Just to fill the thread.


    Happy plotting!

  16. Sixteen word post, 20, no 21 replies. Huh. Which counters a thought I had when you posted Whatever stats for 2007. The thought then was that there weren’t many posts considering the number of visits.

  17. You want to be a writer? You’ve got to follow the rules of writing.
    Always. Be. Plotting.
    ALWAYS be plotting.

    You’ll use the plots you’ve got and you’ll write them. No, you can’t have the Glengarry plots, they’re for writers.

    -ASIDE: Just put up the damn adds and entertain us, dammit.

  18. Chang, on Safari: My parents never promised us anything if there was a chance it wouldn’t happen. So I got very used to replying to “Are you ready to go?” with a simple “Yes,” only then followed by the thought, “Where are we going, anyway?”

    (The most common issue around where I grew up was fog; you don’t want to be on the roads with a bunch of idiots in the fog. So if my parents wanted to take us to the California Academy of Sciences, or the Exploratorium, or Great America, they’d keep us in the dark until about twenty minutes before we had to leave. Which made for some nice surprises along the way.)

  19. Take over the world? Nothing as small as that.

    Remember, The Ponte degli Scalzi (or Ponte dei Scalzi), literally, “bridge of the barefoot”, is one of only three bridges in Venice to span the Grand Canal. Or was that bridges on Venus? Or was that the Grand Canal at the Olympus Mons Resort? I forget.

    But He does not. In the sense of mathematician/physics guru backing it all up onto hologram nanodisks.

    He created the universe (in each of multiple novel series), and on the Saturday he rested and plotted.

    I, for one, welcome our new plot overlord.

  20. RooK @23, don’t you know writers are not allowed to use adverbs?

    John cannot be “always” plotting, it’s not permitted.

  21. Hmmm… is the record the infamous “My toe is sore” one with 11 words (including title)?

    I’ve noticed that for me, Saturday is for resting. I tend to do the most sleeping and the least amount of productive things on Saturdays.

  22. Okay. I was in B & N and went to the Science Fiction section to specifically get a Scalzi book as I have never read any of his writing. But, I couldn’t decide which I should purchase. What one book of Mr. Scalzi’s is his absolute best writing? Recommendations?

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