By Popular Demand
Posted on January 9, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 41 Comments
Llama recipes. Eat hearty, you Incas!
Whatever
FURIOUSLY REASONABLE
WHATEVER
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John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, contributor – AMS
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Pimp mah Alpakah
http://icanhascheezburger.com/?s=pimp
A friend who used to live in the country and had quite a menagerie (she travels to schools with exotics and teaches science programs) had to get rid of her llama because of ‘berserk male syndrome.’ Males raised around humans acculturate too much, and become very territorial and aggressive around people. I said I’d take it off her hands. Instead, she gave it to a breeder. I frequently remind her that she owes me a great barbecue and great area rug.
“Jerky” as in “beef jerky” comes from Quechua for ‘sun-dried llama meat.’
http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/View.aspx?LlamaResahpees128443919980781250.jpg
Several of the farmers near us keep llamas (some keep ostriches, while others keep wallabies, but that’s another story) I’m not going to mention this to Melissa, or you’ll be in trouble (as in think Athena 10 years on, and you’ve ticked a box where you shouldn’t have ticked – Melissa loves llamas, and she’s a vegetarian.)
Me? I like the idea of barbecued llama.
It sounds gross at first, but then we eat filthy chickens and pigs. What’s the difference really? I’ll pass though, you can have my portion.
Had alpaca stew earlier last year in Peru. Quite tasty. Yum!
The locals don’t eat it, they like Cui (guinea pig).
Dave
Mr. Scalzi,
How dare you assume that llamas are incapable of proper spelling and grammar. Kitties obviously cannot write properly, but llamas happen to be highly intelligent creatures capable of creating lolllama captions without mistakes. You should be ashamed.
Sincerely,
J
Society for the Advancement of Llamas Who Use Proper Grammar
HAHAHAHA! You guys are idiots. Llamas like recipes such as tuna casserole. I saw it in a movie once.
The Llama Council? I guess if cheese can have a governing body, then why not the unappreciated Llama…
Riffing off Dave’s comment, guinea pig meat is not that different from rabbit, and also goes well in a stew. Not something I’d eat regularly though; last time I tried it there was too much psychological stuff going on in my head about kids’ pets.
If we eat them, how can we harvest their wool every year?
signed,
a knitter
Harvest the wool before you eat them. That way your soup won’t taste like a sweater.
I love their wee little heads. Well, that and they taste good with gravy. But, then, everything tastes good with gravy. It’s the fundamental principle of southern cooking… Deep fried Mars bars you say? Tastes better w/ gravy.
Would have been even more amusing had it been:
Ewe ate my brudder.
But then again, I’m weird.
You calling me a female sheep, Kate?
P.S.
If you have 3 minutes to waste and promise not to kill me, I present the llama song.
The Llama Song
John: Yes, but its for the benefit of my amusement, which makes it worth it.
That damn song loops. On the computer and my brain.
Kate – I promise not to kill you.
There, see! I have an alibi. I promised.
Sheep farmers around here put llamas in with the sheep. They’re hell on coyotes and feral dogs. You don’t lose sheep to predators with a llama on the job.
I’m glad Kate posted the LLama song, so I didn’t have to. I love it. My friends didn’t find it as funny as I did. I love that the author is “Burton Earny”… I had to explain that one.
Your brother tried to test me, llama. I ate his liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Hello, all. I’ve been lurking here forever, but this is my first comment. I just couldn’t resist anymore. Can I play too?
Actually, Patrick and I spent the night watching the Big Trouble in Little China DVD that I got for Christmas. There’s absolutely no way he could have committed any crime.
Now, you have a concrete alibi.
Vicki@21, you can’t ask to play after you’ve already jumped in and started playing. That’s anarchy!
Hmm, seems I’ve discovered a bug in whatever plugin is auto-generating the email link in comments. Look into that John, snap snap!
Almost 10 hours and no one has mentioned the original llama song by Monty Python?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbwkkXGmFrI
You people need to get on the ball here or lose serious geek cred.
With ketchup or without?
Captain B, it remained unmentioned (until you mentioned it) because it refers only to a rare, honey eating breed of fresh water Llama that is no where near as tasty as its mountain cousins.
Ok, I lurk, but this is just absurd, why the zarquon would i eat a llama? I didn’t even know you could. and as for them alliance with cats, Nooooooo!
I prefer children. I found this amazing recipe:
I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.
. . .
A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.
. . .
Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may flay the carcass; the skin of which artificially dressed will make admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen. As to our city of Dublin, shambles may be appointed for this purpose in the most convenient parts of it, and butchers we may be assured will not be wanting; although I rather recommend buying the children alive, and dressing them hot from the knife, as we do roasting pigs.
Mmm. . . me loves me da babies.
Abe: I see your modest Swift baby love and raise…
No, no, a “three-L lllama” is a heck of a big fire!
A little off topic but has anyone here ever been to a llama convention? They judge them like dog shows but one of the categories is “public relations.” They gotta judge them on how well they deal with children or loud noises and the less they freak out the higher the score they get. Funniest thing I’ve ever witnessed. If one comes to your college like it did mine, do not hesitate.
Llamas are the g.o.a.t.
Dave: thanks for passing along that in Peru, they’re called “cui.” I’m guessing that’s an onomatopoeia from the noise they make. I love finding such names for animals in other languages (‘turkey’ in Nahua (Aztec) is “guajalote” and in Maya “chompipe,” the former reminiscent of “gobbler;” Chinese for ‘monkey’ is “ho ho.”).
Dare we go to four-Lllllama? Too late. I just did. (Has anyone else seen a Disney movie called The Emperor’s New Groove?)
Unleash your inner Llama, baby.
Buck – Chinese for “monkey” is “Ho Tze” : ??, I don’t know if it is onomotopaeic, but the first character is a homonym for the word for “throat” ? (ho), so it may be. It has the same sound structure as the word for “howl”: ?, but “howl” is third tone (falling, then rising), while “monkey” and “throat” are true second tone (rising) homonyms. Onomotopaea in tonal launguages is tricky because of the realtive pacity of possible sounds.
Chinese for “cat” is: “mao mi” ??, but the “mao”* is not onomotopaeic, it’s the same sound but different tone as “fur”?, and also the last name of Chiarman Mao: ???. The true onomotopaeic is the word for “meow”: miao ?.
I guess I should have specified- I know ‘ho dze’ is officially Mandarin for monkey- my girlfriend’s 2 year old niece in Beijing has a stuffed animal monkey, and they referred to it as a ‘ho ho,’ in a very monkey-like, not Santa or streetwalker-like pronunciation, to my ear.
I guess I’m more of a ?????????? than an ???????.
A lot of child’s words just repeat the same first character twice. I thought “Mao mi” was onomotopaeic when I first heard it, but dealing with Chinese for a few years now, I’ve realized that some stuff just sounds similar to the non-Asian ear, whereas Chinese people see a big difference. The tones play a big part.
Heh. Did you study out of the Lipson book, too?
??? ????? ?????????
Yes, Lipson, back when Reagan was president and people asked, “Are you studying Russian because you’re a communist?”
???????? ????? ??????.
Yeah, same book. You didn’t have Peter Priest as a prof,did you? Not many institutions used that text.
I spent 2 years over there in the same time period.
I was at Michigan State. Worked with a guy named Joe Baird (who also accompanied our group to the Soviet Union when we spent the summer of ’87 there).
I was in the USSR 89-91.