Evidence My Life is a Bit Odd, In a Good Way

I just passed on a Guest of Honor opportunity at an excellent convention in 2009, because I’m already scheduled that weekend to officiate a wedding.

Yes, I officiate weddings. No, not in Klingon or Elvish. Stop that.

52 Comments on “Evidence My Life is a Bit Odd, In a Good Way”

  1. Ron asked it for me. Also, if you didn’t know Klingon, would you be willing to learn it as part of your official officiating duties?

  2. If the wedding couple really wanted it in Klingon, it could be done. NB, however, I usually only officiate at weddings of friends, and most of my friends, while often Star Trek fans, probably wouldn’t want to go that route.

  3. its probably your friend’s “future wives” that wouldn’t want to go that route….

  4. I notice that wasn’t a complete denial that you do indeed know how to speak Klingon.

    Excellent. I’ll begin saving. Keep brushing up on your Klingon. I’m only 10 or so years off.

  5. Rraey? They seem like pretty spiritual dudes. Albeit, they’ve got a taste for Long Pig.

  6. Mawwidge. Mawwidge… is what bwings us togethar… today.

    Just once I want to see an officiant do Princess Bride. I didn’t think I’d be able to talk mine into it.

    Triple dog dare ya.

  7. JulieW:

    I had a wedding where the bride and groom considered it, but then realized their parents would kill them.

  8. Please tell me that the 2009 convention you just turned down wasn’t in Western Australia? I’ll not throw myself on any flames if we’ve missed out on seeing you, but I would like to express my significant disappointment if that’s the case. In a totally rational, sane, non-threatening, no-need-for-lawyers way.

    Nah, screw that. Come to sunny Perth. Join Us. We Love You.

  9. Stephbg:

    No, it wasn’t in Western Australia.

    And I’d love to come to Perth. Apparently, I sell well there.

  10. While we’re on the topic in that case, would you ever come to Australia to do a convention, or two?

  11. Dude, you’ll do anything to promote a book:

    “You may kiss the bride…and don’t forget to buy The Last Castle.”

  12. Jimbo:

    I’m not likely to come on a weekend lark, because, well, it’s two hemispheres away. But I would like to visit Australia. If I’m invited to be a GoH, I’d definitely consider it. Same with New Zealand. Hint, hint.

  13. @Doug

    I’ve always said that I’m going to get married in Vegas by an Elvis impersonator. I live in Australia (like apparently everyone commenting here…, except Doug)

    And there is a wedding chapel called “Graceland Chapel”, in Vegas.

    (And yes, I have a partner, of about 14 years, who is prepared to be involved in the union, “thankyouverymuch”)

  14. juliew, I officiated at the wedding of two friends a couple of years back, and I had to resist that temptation very hard. The couple probably wouldn’t have minded (I put in a few jokes, and they liked them), but the humour of it would probably have missed 80% of the audience. I probably shoulda done it anyway…

  15. We had two weddings: One where we spent five grand of her dad’s money on booze and a really bad DJ. (How can you not have “I Hate Everything About You”? It was supposed to be our first dance!) The second in Starfleet uniforms.

    Next time, I’m just taking the new Mrs. to Vegas to be married by Elvis.

    BTW, John, would you dress up as Elvis to officiate?

  16. Don’t you have to have some sort of official certification to officiate at weddings, from either the state or a religious organization? I could be wrong. Having never been married and quite distant from anything church-related, the gap in my knowledge is large. So what are your credentials, Scalzi? Sounds like there’s a story there. . . .

  17. I officiated at my sister’s wedding years ago. It was in Alaska, which still has an old law on the books from the pioneer days: anyone can officiate at a wedding once — all you have to do is fill in the form.

    That was seriously fun, and a great role to have in her wedding.

  18. I have actually seen an officiant do a fair imitation of the Princess Bride service. There were only a couple of problems – 1) he wasn’t doing it deliberately and 2) most of the observers wouldn’t have understood the reference even if it were brought up. So my husband and I were left, slowly strangling and turning bright red in the back as the Archbishop (and he actually was an Archbishop), wended his way through the mawwidge service.

  19. Hey, cons are a great excuse to visit Australia — just make the con weekend part of a longer vacation. I got down there for WorldCon in ’99, had a good couple of weeks, and got in a few days in New Zealand on my way home. I’d definitely do that again. Perth in ’09? Woot!

  20. We put the “Mawwiage is what bwings us togethar today” line in our ceremony, but the officiant didn’t feel right doing the accent when she was going to read the rest of it normally. We also had her add “Do you? Do you? Good, you’re married, kiss her” at the end.

  21. It also means I got off my ass and finally set a date, so that was brilliant!

    (For those who asked – no Klingons, no Elvis, and no book hawking, but I have heard from at least one guest that John may be asked to sign a book.)

  22. “Sign here, to legalize the marriage.”

    “Okay, now sign here, because one of my husband’s best friends loves your novels.”

    OR, we set up a receiving line that’s people bringing their stuff to you to get signed. I think maybe Michael and I would get first dibs on getting the marriage certificate signed. Ha.

  23. John… how totally cool! How did you become licensed to do weddings? It is one of those Cali things or in your hometown area?

    Is it non-denominational or under a particular faith? If you don’t mind me asking…

    be well,

  24. Since I’ve become a deacon at my church, I’ve been asked to do a lot of odd things. Marriages. Ambush baptisms. Exorcisms.

    I’ve declined. I don’t want to blow all my mana points.

  25. Dawn:

    Licensing varies from place to place. I usually check with the city I’m doing the wedding in.

    I’m a ULC minister.

  26. Okay, I think you may have a topic for another Whatever entry, Mr. Scalzi. Just how did you become a wedding officiant? What is your official title? And what sort of certification do you have?

  27. In California, at least, you need not even be a minister, ULC or otherwise. County Clerks can deputize you as a deputy commissioner under Cal. Fam. Code Sec 401(b), to perform a wedding. That deputization was good for one day or one marriage. It cost me $20 or $25 or some such, if I recall, for the priviledge.

  28. I don’t think the Obin do the marrage thing. Unless the author didn’t tell us that they are gay in addition to being hermaphrodite. I know, I know if they have both sets of plumbing how could thet be gay.
    You must post photo’s. Do you wear the collar?
    A friend used the CHiPs theme for when the wedding party arrived at the reception.
    I think wedding licences should be like felonies, three strikes and you’re out. My cousin just had his 6th divorce.

  29. Stock tips: check. Klingonese: possibly probably. Princess Bride: check, though will refrain lest resulting Wrath of Parents spoil the occasion.

    John, you are a man of many and subtle talents.

    But what I really wanna know is: can you do a creditable Dick Van Patten as well?

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