Sign of the Times

I can’t decide whether this news report is serious or not. God help me, I really can’t.

And if it is, so what? Do we take their Grammys away? Deny them entrance to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Considering who’s in there and what they’ve taken, that would be amusing, at least.

43 Comments on “Sign of the Times”

  1. At the very least, we should put an asterik by their name.

    Great. I’m not going to sleep tonight. Mary J. Blige will be out there rampaging because of her roid rage.

    Just great.

  2. Considering that caffeine and alcohol are performance-enhancing (under the right circumstances), there aren’t many entertainers who didn’t.

  3. You know, it’s a nit (and a total side issue), but I think it’s annoying that the LA Times tosses off the source “The Times Union of Albany” without specifying any further location…are we talking about New York? Georgia? Califorina (yes, there is one–“Gateway to Alameda County!” because apparently the world was lacking in this regard)? I worked in the media industry for many years, and I can’t say I ever heard of the Times Union. Maybe I’m wrong–maybe the Times Union is up there with the Wall Street Journal as a recognizable newspaper entity, and this rock I’m living under is hindering my access to their journalistic fabulousness.

  4. I had pretty much the same reaction when I heard about this. Do steroids give some rappers an unfair advantage over the other rappers? WTF.

  5. I think now is a good time to cite Bill Hicks’ classic tirade about musicians who oppose drugs. Profanity follows. I believe the relevant section is:

    “Balless, soulless, corporate little bitches! Suckers of Satan’s cock, each and every one of ’em. ”

    I believe it gets better, and more profane, from there. I suggest no one gets IN to the R’n’R Hall of Fame without using drugs.

  6. John,
    I know you run an adult blog here, but I probably should have asked before posting the full profanity. Please censor if you feel like it.

  7. I just hope Carrot Top isn’t on there. He’s been looking awfully ripped, and I’ve been suspicous. But I hold out hope.
    Where would I go for my Prop-Comic humor?
    To quote Anita Esterday: “You people are really nuts…”

  8. Uh… if it isn’t serious, well then it’s just another example of American Journalism gone Hollywood (IE ‘to crap’).

    If it IS serious however… uh, then it’s just another example of American Journalism gone Hollywood (IE ‘to crap’)…

    JIC you can’t tell, over the years my expectations from and of American Journalism have followed en suite.

    I watch the BBC news cause they still pander to those of us who want to be lied to about things that just might really matter.

    I blog cause I feel I just might get a dialog that is more honest (if not actually rational) here than from the media.

    And if any of those who stand accused are actually using these drugs and if they are using them in the hope of ‘enhancing’ thier performances… well…

    not so much.

  9. Yep, that would be the Times Union of Albany, NY. I live in Albany, NY. The TU is a big deal around here, which isn’t really saying much. Sure, Albany is the state capital, but it’s a pretty small city.

    I would venture to guess that our county DA is emulating former state attorney general and current governor Eliot Spitzer in his zealous pursuit of wrongdoers and bad people in general.

  10. I think the ridiculous thing about steroids is that some people seem to have forgotten that certain kinds are good for you.

    Ever had a severe allergic reaction, bordering on anaphylaxis? Take Prednisone.

    Ever had a bad arthritis flare, which wouldn’t go away? Take Prednisone.

    Ever had bronchitis and your lungs just wouldn’t stay functioning without some help? Take Prednisone.

    It’s not the world’s most-beloved steroid in the press, but in small doses, prednisone is one of the most effective ways of dealing with a number of health issues.

    (All examples cited from my own life. Yes, it helps.)

  11. What about Science Fiction writers? I think it is mighty suspicious the way some writers burst on the scene from out of nowhere. What about you, Mr. Scalzi? Can you assure us that you had no chemical assistance when you wrote “Old Man’s War”?

  12. Steve,

    I believe you’ll know that Scalzi’s doping when he complains that he has to hire someone to type for him because his fingers have grown too large to hit just one key at a time.

  13. Does photosynthesis count as performance enhancing? If so I think the Colonial Defense Force has some answering to do…

    The music thing is a smokescreen to get people away from ‘steroid using baseball players are evil’ and back to ‘lets worship steroid using baseball players’ in time for spring training.

  14. Roids? Huh. Whatever happened to the good old days, when rock stars were perfectly satisfied with booze, pot, coke and heroin?

    Kids these days…

    Apropos-of-nothing PS: “Suckers of Satan’s Cock” must be the best band name ever. It is a band name, I hope?

  15. On the list of drugs that artists abuse I don’t think steroids should be of much concern.

  16. @ Steve in 17.

    Writers do not use steroids for their enhancement. They use hallucinogenics to think up all the weird shit they do.

    Cumon. Arthur C Clarke. Pieces of metal circling the earth called Satellites? WTF man. He must of been smoking some good shit that day.

  17. Huge, hulking, knuckle dragging, muscle bound, oiled up, coked out, high, trippin rock (rap, jazz, blues, folk, country, alternative) stars …

    Don’tcha just love progress?

    #16 Jenny Rae…

    I’m there with ya. Been treating asthma with inhaled and oral Corticosteroids for YEARS!!

  18. Most likely entertainers are using steroids to control the symptoms of damage their other vices cause. It is fairly common for entertainers to have all kinds of symptom control drugs without the proper prescription for it since normally they ask their manager/assistant/groupie for something to take away that pain in their leg or splitting headache rather than go into the doctor for a proper evaluation.

  19. This could be another case of my fellow journalists looking at a current issue (i.e. steroid abuse among athletes) and trying to find any fresh, new angle (i.e. musicians abusing steroids), no matter how much it smacks of the absurd. Sometimes we try too hard to keep a story new and interesting, when we should be moving on to something new and actually noteworthy.

    And seriously, Mary J. Blige? WTF? I can’t even think of a reason she’d be juicing.

  20. It’s a strange list, isn’t it? I expected Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis — but Mary J. Blige and Tyler Perry?????

  21. I can (kinda) see the fuss about althletes and steroids. But unless you personally know the musician in question, who cares? It’s their life.

  22. What do you mean that didn’t work for Limbaugh? He’s a stupid jackass, drugs enhanced that. Kind of like Bill Cosby’s famous bit about assholes and cocaine.

  23. An Eric,

    I was assuming that Mike wanted us to give performance enhancing drugs to the politicians so we could make them ineligible.

    As we learned, being caught with “performance enhancing” drugs did nothing to raise or lower (ahem) Limbaugh’s popularity.

  24. Seth Breidbart @ 2:

    Please note the “illegal” modifier attached to PEDs. Thank you.

  25. Random Michelle: Ah, I see. Maybe we could paint all their doorknobs with a steroid-DMSO cocktail; wasn’t there an old Dead Kennedys song suggesting doing something similar with LSD?

  26. With the confrontational, tough guy attitude in the rap world, it’s probably a good idea to do a cycle or two here and there. Sometimes a brother can’t get to his G-Lock before the fight s-tarts.

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