Posted on January 20, 2008
Posted by John Scalzi
There have been some interesting pictures taken of me during this convention.
I leave it to you to imagine what interesting means in this context.
Dancing naked on the bar with a lampshade on your head and a strip of bacon taped to your belly?
I’m getting disturbed by the wanton cruelty to bacon that repeatedly appears in the comments to this blog. I hereby announce the establishment of BLF: The Bacon Liberation Front. Our motto: “Save the bacon (for breakfast, or maybe a nice BLT for lunch).”
It’s a little long for a bumper sticker, but we’re a young organization, and still developing our message.
You and John Scalvi?
Covered in bacon?
Sign me up for the B.L.F. I, too, believe that the repeated abuse of pork products that show up in the comments here has gone too far. Our host has exercised admirable restraint in only wasting one strip of bacon (to my knowledge) in his pursuit of internet immortality. The readers here must be stopped from egging him on (no pun intended) to further feats of bacon abuse!
Whips, chains, great danes?
Walking up the underside of a staircase like an escher print?
That’s precisely my point. One piece of bacon, taped to one cat, one time, is not an issue the BLF would be concerned about. However, it started commenters down a slippery slope greased with bacon fat to see who could invent the most flagrant and conspicuous misuse and abuse of bacon. The BLF demands that the waste stop now!
More later. It’s time for lunch.
GIF! GIF! GIF!
PHOTOSHOP! PHOTOSHOP! PHOTOSHOP!
Does it involve sheep (android or otherwise)?
Wearing a bacon tiara?
“Interesting” is actually defined as “automatic disqualification from elective office”.
I’m going to use the picture of you engaging in a full frontal snogging with Mr. Westerfeld as the inspiration for the first piece of fiction I’ve felt inspired to write since 1986. I especially like how you’re respective spouses are there, cheering the two of you on.
your, not you’re arrgh. Brain is tired, needs bloodflow.
Remember ” keep your hands in sight at all times” is the rule not the exception. Does this define “interesting”.
What a tease. I’m ready to be interested now. But if I have to guess, I’m thinking there are no pork products involved.
I love Tessa McAdoo and I need to wish her a happy b-day!
Damn it, Hugh beat me to it. Sheep. The Westerfield snogging is just a diversionary tactic.
Ms Larbalestier was right. You must have brought the sequin gown. Tell me you did not tape bacon to a sequin gown. As a possible future member of the BLF I would have to protest such action.
Did she buy the gold gown? When do we see the pictures?
We really need to get the Bacon Liberation Front better organized to address transgressions against our creed. Fully 21% of the first 19 posts here are just begging to have a grievance filed. And here we are without a Sgt. At Arms to come down on ’em with a number 10 can-o-whoopass!
And Damn! Another one snuck in while I was typing.
Interesting as in the old saying, “May you live in interesting times”?
Chang@6: Pants on? Pants off?
Is that from the X-rated version of The Karate Kid?
Hey, BLF guys, does “Invader Zim” need a complaint filed against it?
“GIR, why is there BACON in the SOAP?!”
“I made it myself!”
Does the BLF have plans to set up a Bacon Liberation Tribunal (BLT) to process and oversee these complaints against baconkind?
Greg, Nathan, Another Steve, I hereby pronounce you all Executive Vice Presidents in charge of calling attention to, and retaliating against, all transgressions against bacon and bacon-related products. I put it to a vote of the membership as to whether non-bacon bacon flavoring is entitled to BLF protection, although I would vote “NO.”
I too vote NO on extending BLF protection to non-bacon bacon flavoring. Non-bacon bacon flavoring is on its own.
Unfocused, thank you for elevating me to VP status. I’m honored and I’ll try to live up to your high expectations. Also, I think Vincent might be onto something with the whole BLT concept. I like it. I humbly suggest that we make our organization as Orwellian as possible. An excellent model I think.
In my new position, I’ll take on the first transgressor. JJS, yeah buddy, I’m lookin’ at you. Until you apologize for comment #1 above, The BLF sentences you to eating only bacon that has first been marinated in belly sweat. Payback is indeed a bitch.
Where was the scalvification of Chuck? It was greatly saddening for nothing to have happened!
Hey, it’s just extra salt. Can’t go wrong with extra salt…
As a Pastafarian, Pancetta Sect, I stand ready to support my BLF brethren against pork product related transgressions…
Wait! Do Beggin’ Strips count?
Hey – if you’re going to wear an evening gown that low cut, you should at least have your chest hair waxed. And can I recommend double-sided tape for those little slippage issues?
From Purina’s site:
Dogs bark “Gimme Bacon!” and now you can give them bacon, because Beggin’® Strips not only look, taste, and smell like real bacon – they’re now made with real bacon.
So, yes, Constance. Beggin’ Strips count.
I am a VP? I was looking for that membership email. I thought I accidentily deleted it. I must have hit send. That said, I shall carry out my responsibilities as VP. In the case of JJS I submit the crime may or may not be tempered by the placement of said bacon. If it is taped high on the belly then that is just wrong and a proper issue for the BLF to consider. If it is taped low then it can be dismissed as a (forgive this pun) distasteful male pastie. I hope said bacon was wide, not for the case, but for the sake of the audience as many were sitting at odd angles.
On the issue of non-bacon bacon, I think we should be merciful and disregard any case involving non-bacon bacon so we can feel free to enjoy burger fast food with a side salad including “bacon” bits and think it may be healthy.
All I’m hoping is that these “interesting pictures” lead to a few more entertaining entries for Scalzi’s next “10 things I’ve done you prolly haven’t” list….
(Also, mmmm, bacon!)
Leave my father (JJS) alone, he was unaware of the future formation of either the BLF or the BLT.
I would like to submit a membership application for the BLF, and propose immediate protection of the following product:
please contact me in an undisclosed location, and leave the breifcase in plain sight. NO COPS! …..oh crap wrong note.
There was a skull kissing incident? I didn’t think any cameras were around. I mean, I wasn’t there and I never saw or did that.
I don’t think it got photographed, but Justine Larbalestier did kiss Scalzi’s head at the Gluten-free Fantasy panel in Sunday morning (Scalzi had just said something about how easily traditions get started at SF cons). Thus, the skull-kissing thing is now a time-honored tradition, to be observed at Confusions for decades to come.
Re #37: Spam with bacon! Doesn’t that describe a lot of the stuff posted on Whatever?
JJS re ‘spam with bacon on Whatever’.
No the phrase “spam with bacon” does not accurately describe a lot of the stuff posted on whatever.
Spam with bacon places spam first, implying that spam is more important or that spam can be found in greater abundance than bacon.
This is clearly not the case…
…Beggin’® Strips not only look, taste, and smell like real bacon – they’re now made with real bacon. Damn you, Purina! Here I thought it was just corporate propaganda. I’m so disillusioned. To put helpless bacon into a bacon shaped product… that’s just wrong.
But my dogs won’t touch them, so it’s okay.
hugh57, yes, it is now a “time honored tradition.”
Scalzi sings? (Just fishing here – I got nuthin’.)
Vincent, I owe you an apology — I missed your post and am just checking back now. I hereby appoint you Chief Justice of the Bacon Liberation Tribunal (CJ-BLT), with plenary authority over all cases brought before you by the three Executive Vice Presidents of the BLF.
Vincent, please remember one thing. With great pork products comes great responsibilities.
Come on everyone, you really were waiting for that statement to hit the website. Oh, you are so lame.
Taunting the tauntable since 1998
John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, contributor – AMS
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