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Blathering Lockdown: Day Three

BLATHER TEST:

Is the book done? NO

Blather limiter: ON

Your question for the day:
So, what’s in your pockets? Right now?

Try not to search too enthusiastically; people will stare. See you tomorrow.

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

129 replies on “Blathering Lockdown: Day Three”

Not a fair question is it my precious? Not fair at all…

Oh wait. My pockets. Um… nothing.

Good luck finishing your book John. I just sent an article to my editor, which is a nice relief. Finishing a book must give a far greater sense of accomplishment/relief than finishing a magazine article.

In my left pocket I have my apartment key, wallet, twelve dollars in cash, five quarters, three dimes, a nickle, four pennies, a crumbled up reciept for tea from a CVS, and a button.

My right pocket has a hole in it.

Nothing. However, there is a surprising amount of food in my purse. Surprising because the way my purse is designed, most people think that pocket could only hold a few pieces of paper, instead of a packet of trail mix, a bag of candy, trial packages of nuts, a Quaker Oatmeal On the Go bar, a snack bag of candied ginger, a tin of Altoids, and a small bottle of Mylanta.

I don’t think I could manage a soda can, but I could smuggle plenty of candy into the movie theater.

I can get anything I want out of my purse without looking. Very handy when The Hunger™ strikes in the middle of a long drive.

None of my work clothes (which I’m currently wearing) have pockets, sadly. But earlier, I found lint in my jeans pockets. And my coat pockets have a piece of paper and three quarters and a dime.

Just don’t ask me what’s in my backpack. Too many things to list.

Checking… Padlock; crescent wrench; Hipster PDA
; Fisher Space Pen; keys (oddly, not to the padlock); lock picks (for the padlock); wallet; Borders Books gift card; a business card that says, in part, “Things Fixed. Select Things Broken.”; flash drive; and the tear-off cap for the cat’s de-worming medication. I feel all eclectic.

a tin of burt’s bees lip gloss and a key ring with a remote for my car, a leather tag, and 4 keys: house, car, two work keys. That’s all, and that’s almost always all. My backpack on the other hand is full to bursting.

Ha ha! Also in jammies, so no pockets. No wait — I have a breast pocket, but there’s nothing in that either. There was a Charms Blo-pop earlier today… I do have a nice cup of tea, thoguh.

Jammies, no pockets right now.

But on a normal work day, while wearing a coat, I typically have:

– my iAudio. (It plays ogg but has horrible battery life when cold.)
– my wallet
– my housekeys
– my work ID badge
– misc. change
– not so much pocket lint as yet-more-bits-of-pocket-liner-that-have-torn-off. (I need a new coat.)

Pockets? It’s late. Stuff has long been out of pockets, or it ends up in the couch. If I were walking out of the house, pocket stuff would include about 37 cents, wallet, keys, and a crappy phone.

My phone, a pack of smokes, a lighter for said awesome sticks, my keys (which have a WICKED bright little light attached — I think that’s worth noting) and my wallet. I won’t detail that last one, mostly because none of the details would involve money.

The same thing that’s been in the pockets of these ratty-old-schlep-about-the-house track pants for years: Holes. It’s all that’ll stay in them.

Now if I was at work, it’d be wallet, flash drive, lip balm, keys, glasses case for my sunnies, glasses case to stop t’other case falling over out of easy reach, and hands-free kit/headphones for my phone, so I can listen to music on the way to and from work. (The phone itself lives in a pouch on my belt, as does the PDA, in another pouch to keep the first company.)

wallet (empty because i’m a student), keys (pointy), phone (flat or nearly so), magazine (today was practice day), shell casings (see previous.)
Also I’m quite pleased for the standard of the readership it took 36 responses before someone invoked Alanis.

The pangolin carries everything I need when at home: a bottle of hennessey, some oyster crackers, a handheld geiger counter, some mints, the collected sayings of Karl Marx and Buddy Hackett, a sixpack of Nutriment and condoms.

Fascinating lists….I must ask…how do some people keep their pants up?? It strikes me that a simple belt won’t work against some of these lists and the pull of gravity.

My list: lint. Lovely, pink lint, and not much of it since I’m wearing my robe that I just got for christmas. It hasn’t had time to build up lint!

Wearing my robe right now, so, um, just lube. Good morning.

Skipping merrily past that, my normal pocket loadout consists of notebook, pen, keys, badge, wallet, music and earbuds, change for the vending machines, and a blown glass heart my beloved wife gave me as a worrystone/remembrance. I actually have a counting mnemonic so I remember to take it all in the morning.

Keeping your wallet in a back pocket forces you to sit at a slight angle, thus putting unnecessary strain on one side of your spine. Always better to keep the wallet in another pocket.

All my pockets are currently empty, except for the one which contains my mobile phone.

Left Front: Folding money, flash drive, ATM receipt, mini Swiss Army knife, pack of 4 80mm fan screws

Right Front: quarters, nickels, dimes and pennies

Left Rear: Various pieces of paper with notes on them, 2 traffic tickets

Right Rear: Wallet, comb

One partially eaten roll of tropical lifesavers (I prefer the banana)
one Benzedrex Nasal Decongestant inhaler (get one today, they work great!)
one black wallet (contents inconcsequential)
three pairs blue nitrile gloves (work related)

do I get bonus points since I diddnt have to check?

I’ve got two sets of pockets on right now (robe and jammies), but there’s nothing in them.

Actually, it’s been a very long time since there was anything truly interesting in my pockets. Wallet and keys and change and such, but I haven’t carried neat things in my pockets since I was in high school – string and rocks and bits of machinery and a knife, you know, like that.

Errr… pockets? However, I am shortly to be taking a walk, and my coat pockets will have my cell phone and car keys. (Sadly I must drive to where I am going to be walking.)

Front left: Wallet-Brick ™ in need of thinning, Swiss Army knife (future sacrifice to the Homeland Security gods like all the others, no doubt).
Front right: keys (too many), cell phone (also too many)
Back left: misc. receipts, various coins, $12 in bills, secret to cheap energy scrawled on business card from unknown source (to be lost next time I look for it).
Back right: one Sacagewea dollar coin

A ring of keys, a few sugarless coughdrops, about $8 in coins (mostly dollars), a wallet, a couple of notes of things to do that I keep forgetting to read, an inhaler. Nothing exciting.

Nothing. I just got out of bad and am sans pockets at the moment.

Normally, it’s change, two sets of keys (haven’t been locked out in 10 years, and often leave the car running for short errands), business cards, wallet, comb, pen. Sometimes my iPod.

Moving up to my jacket, either sunglasses, reading glasses, or both.

Stuff: cellphone (1), wallet (1), keys (5), small swiss army knife (1), 512MB flash drive (1), slightly used tissues (2).

Money (outside of wallet): 5 yuan note (1), 1 yuan notes (4), 1 yuan coins (4), 5 jiao coin (1), 1 jiao coins (6), 5 fen coins (7), 1 fen coin (1)

The null set.

One of the unusual side-effects of 9 days in hospital for major emergency abdominal surgery (9-18 Jan 2008) is that nobody objects to my hanging around at home all day in pocket-less jogging suit.

Having no keys, cash, wallet, checkbook, inhaler, etcetera in my pants pocket is unusual enough.

What do you call the ritual slapping of 2 front pocket and two rear pockets upon leaving a public place to enure that everything is still pocketed, as opposed to slipped out on the Starbucks / Theatre / Courtroom floor?

Even weirder, as a confirmed Nerd / Geek, how very VERY weird not to have the bulging shirt pocket with black and red pens, receipts, index cards, pages of folded printout, paperclipped poems being marked-up, business cards, utility bills in envelopes, with equations scribbled on them for Math I was working out in my head and noting for ramification later when I can use web-based calculators and research, and stuff.

It’s like being a step beyond nakedness. What am I carrying?

Well, eyeglasses on the bridge of the nose, and braced against ears. And my dignity.

Customs: “What do you have to declare?”

Oscar Wilde: “Only my genius.”

Another a propos quote being from Wind in the Willows:

To his horror he recollected that he had left both coat and waistcoat behind him in his cell, and with them his pocket-book, money, keys, watch, matches, pencil-case -all that makes life worth living, all that distinguishes the many-pocketed animal, the lord of creation, from the inferior one-pocketed or no-pocketed productions that hop or trip about permissively, unequipped for the real contest.
In his misery he made one desperate effort to carry the thing off, and, with a return to his fine old manner – a blend of the Squire and the College Don – he said, “Look here! I find I’ve left my purse behind. Just give me that ticket, will you, and I’ll send the money on tomorrow. I’m well known in these parts.”
The clerk stared at him…

Ballpoint pen
Sharpie Marker (a parent’s best friend– be ready to mark your child’s name on their possessions at a moment’s notice)
swiss army knife
chapstick
blistex
wallet
pocket comb
two 1-gb flash drives (which is two more than I usually carry, but my daughter and I are going to a computer music workshop this morning)
$3.19 in change (including two golden 1 dollar coins, which I like to carry around & use to confound sales clerks)

Am I the only one imagining Scalzi hunched over his computer going “What has it got in its pocketsessss…?”

To which I am tempted to respond, “String, or nothing!”

Actual pockets contain:
Wallet
Keys
1GB Flash Drive
2x Mechanical Pencil
Large pen-style eraser
cell phone

(including two golden 1 dollar coins, which I like to carry around & use to confound sales clerks)

Why would loonies confound sales clerks? Carrying 24 cents might do it (and only works for the first transaction…)

I thought there’d be more “no pockets, surfing naked” answers…

Hmmm… in my jeans (I stole my boyfriend’s cargos this morning) I have a bottle of water, 45$ in cash, my RCA Pearl, headphones, pocket knife, can of mace, and a cookie (don’t ask me how that go in there).

In my backpack there’s three more bottles of water, the book I’m reading (it’s your Android’s Dream), my notebook for story ideas and random thoughts, my wallet, sunglasses, keys and various pens.

Huh, that’s a lot of crap.

Why do i have this strange urge to sing the financial planning commercial..”hands in your pockets, hands in your pockets”.
As for my pockets, you will find a quarter, an elastic band for tying up Bug’s hair and a pill cutter.

Stumped at last for a riddle to ask, he cried out, as his hand fell on his snub-nosed .38, “What have I got in my pocket?” This Goddam failed to answer, and growing impatient, he paddled up to Frito, whining, “Let me see, let me see.” Frito obliged by pulling out the pistol and emptying it in Goddam’s direction…. He would have finished off Goddam then and there, but pity stayed his hand. It’s a pity I’ve run out of bullets, he thought, as he ran back up the tunnel…

Nothing, thanks to the pocketless pajama pants I’m sporting. I rarely have anything in my pockets besides my keys, my id, and my cell phone, and maybe some chapstick. However, I can never find anything without giving myself a full body patdown, because I haven’t managed to establish a what goes in what pocket system.

Well, I’m wearing Carharts shop pants which have lots of pockets, so

A tape measure
A 6″ digital caliper
2 #2 yellow pencils
A stainless steel scribe
A buck knife
A marking knife
A small box of stick matches
My Wallet
a handful a sawdust

and

Jimmy Hoffa’s shrunken head (for luck, mine – not his).

Okay, now the pangolin is on its lunchbreak and I needed to put on pants which pockets contain:

Used dental floss
A laundry ticket
Bank deposit receipt
Receipt for my new gorgeous bass!
A scrap of paper that says “EMAIL!”
A nickel
A ring from a Poland Spring bottle
A cash drawer tally
A receipt for George Foreman’s trip to the vet to get his softpaws.

So basically my pants are a big fils folder with holes for legs.

I never have anything in my pockets, because I keep everything in my purse/bag of the moment (I have a twitchy tactile thing and things in my pocket are another thing pressing at my skin – no likes.)

In my purse is currently my wallet, my Symbicort inhaler, my hand lotion, my pen, my various bits of emergency supplies (painkillers, pantyliners, tampons), my Norton Anthology of Literature: Sixteenth Century, my copy of Sigrid Undset’s Kristen Lavransdatter: I The Wreath for my Mediaeval Social History seminar, a receipt for La Senza, my keys, and a grey sweater that I carried yesterday because I had to go to a funeral and wasn’t sure if the white sweater I had would be okay (due to various personal reasons, white feels to me at least as appropriate for death as black, as does red, but I wasn’t sure how everyone else would feel.)

. . . my purse isn’t actually that big. It’s just that all my bags seem to have some kind of singularity in them that allows them to hold more than they should.

Right pocket:

– tin of Burt’s Bees lip balm
– Fischer space pen, chrome, black ink
– All-let wallet with DL, health card, bank card and one credit card.
– I usually have cash, but none at the moment

Left pocket:

– Leatherman Juice
– rare earth magnet holding a looney and a twoony (i.e. 3 dollars in CDN change) to the Leatherman. No jingling…

Can you tell I was in the Boy Scouts? :)

Wallet – and typical contents thereof.
Palm T3
Boker Ceramic knife
tin of lip balm
1 peppermint candy
1 ricola cough drop
1 mini Sharpie (ultra fine, purple)
1 car key and fob
4 GB flash drive
change.

Boring today.
If you’d asked about my coat pockets, though.

Having just gotten dressed: nothing in my pocketses.

Normally: wallet, keyring (one key and one multitool), cell phone, and possibly some change or a spare hairtie or a bit of trash I couldn’t throw away at the time.

All the endless accumulative stuff either gets folded into my wallet or my shoulderbag, both of which have too much stuff in them to want to inventory in a blog comment.

As I am home sitting on the sofa, my pants pockets contain:

1 Sanyo cell phone, chocolate colored and slightly scratched
1 lightly used tissue
1 tube Burt’s Bees Replenishing Lip Balm with pomegranate oil (the species and flavor of lip balm changes from day to day)

My coat pockets contain:
2 pens, one green, one purple
1 travel pack of tissues
1 used tissue
black gloves
black (but mostly silver because after 18 years the paint has worn off) medium carabiner holding: keys, 2 small pony tail holders, small multi-purpose tool (pliers & 4 small screwdrivers), 1 small washer, multiple key rings
lip balm (probably vanilla mint chapstick)
black sunglasses
small blue bag for carrying/cleaning sunglasses
wallet
small flashlight

sometimes also contains:
1 kershaw pocket knife (black)
1 small notebook
1 PDA
1 paperback book (my test for jackets is if the pockets are large enough to carry a paperback book.)
1 checkbook

Well, it’s 8 am on Sunday and I’m in bed; wearing underwear and a smile, so pockets are non-existent. I see it’s going to be 27C today and it feels like it’s well on the way already (I feel for you poor wintery souls up north). Time to get up, shower and think about breakfast before plonking my rear down on the couch for another day of watching the cricket on TV. Sunlight gives you skin cancer.

A small self contained universe, a beautiful set of matching dimensions, a synthetic planetary computer working on the question of life, the universe, and everything, and a hyperdimensional intelligence matrix based on a aetheric energy reaction in between quantum fields.

Jeans pockets:
driver’s license
POINTS Visa from National City Bank

Sweater pockets:
one lollipop stick (sticky end contained in wrapper)
pacifier leash (binky not attached)

An 8-gig iPod nano with the entire first season of Sealab 2021 and a metric buttload of punk rock. A Motorola RAZR v3 phone. A Moleskin sketchbook and a black felt tip pen. My wallet with a few nearly-maxxed credit cards, my USACycling racing license, and $27.08. A repair order tag from the bike shop where I spin wrench part-time. An SD card for my camera.

As you can probably guess, I’m a strong proponent of the man-purse (or “murse” for short). Until I can find something more practical, I generally just stuff shit in a messenger bag.

One of those silvery wrapper thingies that sticks of gum get wrapped in, except this one is for Japanese candy.

Seven keys.

Wallet.

Cell Phone, which is horribly scuffed because I never bothered to buy a case for it, and was usually kept in the same pocket with the seven keys.

Two Mirado Black Warrior Pencils, used for long enough that everything except “HB 2 *heart heart* ” was sharpened away from the shaft (body?) of the pencil.

A few shards of fragrant yellow wax.

Dang. There goes my plan to use this question for the Weekend Assignment! Seriously, it was on my short list, but I hadn’t cleared it yet for past Scalzification. All I ask is that you stay away from the box question and the invention question for the next few weeks. Feel free to substitute the tree question instead.

Oh, I forgot to answer the question. I just pulled out my Cyber-shot DSC-W100, with 8.1 megapixels; an eegee’s receipt, a clean tissue, my keys, a $1bill dated 2003, a not-so-clean napkin, and $3.42 in coin.

OK….
Left Front:
Cell Phone, house and car keys.

Right Front:
Zippo, Cigarettes, and folding knife. and .68 Cents.

Right Front change pocket:
4 guitar picks.

Left Rear:
Wifes ATM card, 2 bank receipts, and receipt from PF Chang’s for last night’s cocktails.

Right Rear:
Wallet

And so it will be till the end of time…..

Same as always…
Left front: wallet (will not specify further, thankyouverymuch)
Right front: keys
Left rear: loose change (right now, 96 cents), five business cards of folks I may need to contact but don’t want to put in my address book yet, and one hardware-store receipt
Right rear: pocket address book

My phone, when I carry it, is on a clip.
My flash drive, when I carry it, is in my shirt pocket. If my shirt doesn’t have a pocket, then I don’t need to be carrying my flash drive. (That’s one thing I consider when choosing a shirt.)

Amongst the detritus of coins, random bits of folding money, dry erase markers and pens and pencils, my pockets are mostly filled with the little bits of paper that make up my life’s purchases. Damn you direct withdrawl cards.

Keys (car, apartment, safe, office and office desk, mailbox, a couple of others) wallet with Usual Cards/ID and a couple of more keys in it, Inova LED flashlight, Leatherman Wave, about fifty bucks in cash. Door pass tag for work, 2 gb USB drive, RSA securID token.

If I walk away from my desk, my cell phone usually ends up in my back pocket.

I’m late to the party but I’ll play if no one minds.
Front Right Pocket: nail clippers, Fenix L0D AAA LED flashlight (with 5 settings), Kershaw 1710 pocket knife, blue Bic pen, Kingston 4GB USB drive

Front Left Pocket: RFID Badge (that let me into work) in a purple plastic case, Zippo lighter (a few more days and I’ll be quit with the smoking!!!!), Penicillin allergy MediAlert bracelet, 3 quarters, 1 nickel, 1 single and 1 fiver contained between the awesome magenetic force of my Genuine, Italian (actually purchased in Italy as a gift for me) leather money clip

Rear Left Pocket: house key, PT Cruiser key, and lock-out lock key on fob with keyless entry remote

Rear Right Pocket: wallet to keep everything balanced

Plus a Nextel phone and tool pouch (containing 8 tools including a Gerber multitool) on my belt.

Always five things: a wallet, an office access card, a set of keys, and two separate types of transport tickets each in its own jacket for easy display/swiping. I don’t leave home without counting the number of items in my pockets. Always suspected having a mild case of OCD…

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