Blathering Lockdown: Day Four
Posted on January 27, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 123 Comments
BLATHER TEST:
Is the book done? NO
Blather limiter: ON
Your question for the day: What’s the name of your next band?
The name of my next band: Platelets of Phlegm. It came to me yesterday while I was coughing.
Enjoy coming up with band names. See you tomorrow.
I like Strange Attractors or possibly Slough of Despond
Fences Facing is my guitar hero band, and I like that. It’s from a Dylan quote.
Ballerinas of Doom, definitely.
Chocolate Abattoir. Easy decision.
One of the bits I really liked from the Illuminatus Trilogy was where they dedicated a couple of pages to just random band names.
My band: Pizza for Breakfast
Clockwork Tombstone.
Inspiration here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sunnybrook100/2112492751/
I was thinking about this a couple of years back. My first idea was String Theory – a band comprised entirely of string instruments. Unfortunately, the only instrument I play is the drums. So I thought maybe Chaos Theory – a hardcore punk band.
This was during my OMGPHYSICS! phase. If you couldn’t tell ^_^
Finish the book and get back to blathering.
Robots and Clowns.
Orbital Orangutans
Faraday and the Knights
Android’s Dream
Sledgehammer Acne
Alternate band name: Spellcheck Before Publishing
“Nice One Jim”
I’m thinking it’ll be…. Soup Makes My Nose Run
The one I use for Guitar Hero is “The Mario Suicides”
Radio Ghost Invisible.
Crucifix Pistols.
I usually use The Burning Business Cards for Guitar Hero and sometimes in stories I’m working on, when music-related.
In my younger days, I always thought that “Screaming Lung Tissue” would be the best punk band title. But now that I’m older, I think that ” The Blue Pill Screamers” would fit the bill.
Each year Dave Rickards of the local morning show Dave, Shelly, and Chainsaw compiles a list of band names he’s come up with over the past year. Can’t find this year’s, but maybe if you asked him nice.
My band names?
The Nine Year Old as Klingon
Cats are Chaos
Confuzzled by Search Terms
Stream of Consciousness Deconstructed
Lassie the Transvestite Bow Wow
When Porn had Panache
Sex with a Loofa
Hopeful Monsters for Punctuated Equilibrium
Bush the Second Rate Socialist
No Child Allowed to Learn
Chronic Constipation Through Super Glue Colonics
Jerked Around By Porn Sites
Puns and Hoses
Some Sort of Sexual Innuendo is My New Band
I’m Having Hilary’s Baby
Self Loathing Twee for Rudy Guliani
Beagles in Pitbull Drag
(That should be enough for now.)
The Taffia
nine car pileup
awkward taco
planetary fuchsia
Stop Loss
Screaming invisible psychic flying death monkeys of doom, a neo-folk/polka/Korean ska fusion band
Dirtstar, because A) it sounds kind of cool B) it sounds like a proper band name and C) its obscure slang meaning is ‘anus’.
The first two are important because if you actually name your band “Dogsex Bloodfart Catapult” or “Janet Is Ten Feet Tall” nobody who’s not already a fan will ever voluntarily come to see you play or listen to your music.
And You Shall Know Us by Our Trail of Breadcrumbs. We’d play “Stomachache” Metal for kids and our breakout hit would be “Mary Had a Little Lamb … with Orzo.”
Phloozees
Sell Outs
Quonk
Mudness
The Miders from Spars
Stand Clear
Persistence of Vision (with thanks to J Varley)
Fluid and the Electrolytes. We’ll hook up with the Gatorade brand and do heavy metal tunes devoted to health and fitness during college football halftime breaks.
I’ve always thought “Dr. Afterbirth and The Electric Fetus” would be a cool name for a band.
Does anyone know if there IS a bad with this name?
BONK BONK BAD KID
Scalvi’s Not Done Orchestra
Gap Analytics
Frisk Kitty
Byte mi bit by bit
Grump Ruls Suk
Diet of Worms
Battle Axe Culture
ALT: Single Grave Culture
The Leathery French
A friend of mine wants someone to take Temporary Sanity, so that’s open.
Brill Cream and the Greasers – rockabilly
Blind Potato Jenkins and the Delta Daddies – blues
Societal Decay – techno
The Bollix – punk
Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew – because there is not nearly enough pirate hip hop out there.
The Dead Reverend’s Rubber Fetish, named after that story on the Smoking Gun site last year.
Geoffrey Chaucer was a Vampire
Ronald Reagan’s Dead
Bacon Cat Sandwiches aren’t Kosher
Orgasmic Quazmos
My friends and I actually discussed this at my wife’s celebratory birthday dinner last night, and decided our next band name would be:
Drunk Dial the Babysitter.
Felcher’s Jelly Sandwich
Teen Laqueefa and the Cold Cut Combo
Dinosaur Sodomists
Laparoscopic Cholecytectomy
Colorless Green Thoughts Sleep Furiously
One Grunch But The Eggplant
Quango
High Specific Heat of Water
(I’d have preferred The Stanford Prison Experiment, but that’s taken.)
The Ninjabread Men!
The Denture Brothers Philharmonic (aka Lawrence Welk’s future)
He’s Dead, Jim (mathcore)
Stealing Columbus (Indy rock)
The Entangled Photons (jazz fusion)
Tragic Mollusk (goth metal)
Two bands I was actually in during my misspent youth (both of which, umm, disbanded in less than a year):
The 21cm Band (all physics/chemistry guys… nerd triple entendre, as we did a lot of contrapuntal stuff)
Radio Free Albemuth
Beat Napoleon
Because I had a goat-cheese-and-beet-napoleon at a party last night.
Not because I’m short. Really.
The Bloody Stools (retirement age punk/ska)
Boneplate!
Blatant Ripoff.
It’s a cover band, of course.
Impotent Frog & the Gummy Nipples.
I would name my group after signs that I see in the mountains like “deer crossing,” “falling rock,” “steep turn,” etc…. the possibilities are endless.
Finally, one I can answer.
Whiffcon 4
Something from this list.
My personal fave is “Tibetan Vengeance.”
:-D
Now playing…FREE BEER!
Ever since I was a kid I always wanted to be in a band and call it ‘Barnyard Psychosis’.
That’s and easy one: Ave Maria Fastfood Grill.
See http://livelyhood.com/
Patrick Nielsen Hayden and the Where’s the Fucking Manuscript Band
Gynecological Disaster
There was another good one I thought of the other day but I forget what it was.
Simon, I think that second one is a little too long to be catchy -“There was another good one I thought of the other day but I forget what it was.”
I would name my group after signs that I see in the mountains like “deer crossing,” “falling rock,” “steep turn,” etc…. the possibilities are endless.
I’m gonna go all Aussie on your ass, Erik. How about “Wombat Crossing.”
Noble Zues
Kitten Dehydrator
Fondue Bidet
Yoga Butt
This may sound stupid, I always thought “This Bag Is Not a Toy” would be a good name. I don’t know why. Maybe I fell asleep with one on my head one time…
Band name? Hmmm…. I could see “John Scalzi and the eColi Shuffle.”
Shallow Affect
Blunt Trephine
Halfway to Transcendence
Lost in the Endless Sky
Synthetic Satisfaction
Matchstick Cathedral
Billy and His Band
Moving my Cheese
Processed Luncheon Meat
Spud Gun (is this taken?)
Mutt Dog and the Killer Koi
In college, my friends and I always talked about starting a band called “No Left Turn” and calling our first album “Right on Red.” But then it occurred to us that no one really had enough musical talent to bother.
Lung Chunks
Three Word Name
Said Plaid
Staid Plaid
Said Staid Plaid
Plaid Said Staid
Correlated Subquery
Solo Project
Verb
Amusingly enough, I just renamed my Rock Band band today – The Pats Cajamas.
Shat.
Because who conjugates that Anglo-Saxon monosyllable correctly nowadays? I could probably get it past the FCC in primetime.
Alex:
For decades, I’ve always said that I’d use “The Vomiting Wombats.”
In high school during the Reagan 80’s we thought we could name our punk band
Maggie Thatcher’s Douche
Navel Lint Suprise was our 2nd choice
Hey John, how about instead of asking us silly but entertaining questions you ask us our opinions on the whateverettes? No more effort on your part than the silly questions and it should lead to meatier comments. The new Canadians? Who knew. Has anyone else heard of this befor? You can make most bigots behave in public but they will still be bigots inside. I am not sure if I am buying district attorney Mike Trent’s story that he didn’t know what the term meant. I mean lawyers make their living verbally splitting hairs. I just can’t see one using a word he didn’t know the meaning of.
Upon further consideration silly questions are less likely to need moderation so maybe this would call for more work on your part. Just a sugestion. Your bat and ball.
Moucho Mucho Macho
Groovy Mennonites.
Some prequery ones:
Patron Saint of Pirates
The Monster in Jimmy’s Closet
Monkey Astronaut
Some I’ve just pulled up:
Ouch, the Hotplate
Mulligatawny’s Madness
This is Not a Band
Dinosaur Vampire Explosion
Gary, Phil and Dave Are Not in This Band
I’m Sure I’ve Adequitly Annoyed Scalzi for the Day (local Minnesota rockers!)
They Might Not Be Giants
Johan @ 69, are you sure those are band names, and not Culture ship names?
My band name for Guitar Heroes 1, 2, and 3 was “The Catamites”, which was an abbreviated version of my dream band name, “Father John and the Catamites”.
There was a bowling alley I went to that had Guitar Hero nights, and I took a special pleasure in coming up with new and unique names for myself (and some were usernames I’d used for online pixel-blasting). Including:
“Streptoraucous” (or “StreptoRAWKus”)
“Matthew Sour”
“The Hang-Tens”
“Cable Modem”
“Peter-Paul and Maggot”
“Chinese Democrat”
“Futile Effort”
“Merchant of Venison”
One night my buddy and I used Venture Brothers references for every song: “Goliath Serum”, “Team Venture”, “Girl Hitler”, etc.
“The Long Barbed Whip Of Patrick Nielsen Hayden”
Mathias @ 31, I’ve never heard of “Dr. Afterbirth and the Electric Fetus”, but there’s a string of too-cool record shops in Minnesota that go under the moniker of “The Electric Fetus”.
Cup ‘O Mung
John Fiala @ #5: My husband was in Fish For Breakfast in college. One of their notable songs was “Gin”, based on a T-shirt with Milk and Cheese Gone Bad. “Gin makes a man mean!”
The band I was in (with my husband— we weren’t dating at the time even) was Warehouse: Mercury. Technically it still exists. (I suggest the “Shake Your Love” cover, or “Pain Lies On the Riverside” cover if you’d like to hear my voice.*) Perhaps the most notable aspect of the non-breakup is that if the lead singer ever is in the area, we could set up to record within half an hour— and there would probably be a new song or two by that point. You put Evil Rob and Krissi in the same room and scary creativity follows.
As in, when I make a comment about having once gone to the store and coming back to have them say they’d made only two new songs, I’m not joking.
*It’s not mentioned on the site, but when Evil Rob does a cover it is generally thought out and recorded in a few days— and if I’m doing the vocals, I generally have a prep time of around half an hour. Hence the occasional vocal flub, such as my pronunciation of “wadder.” Oops.
My sister and her friends once threatened to start a punk band called Home Abortion Kit. This was in her “kick the system in the nuts” teens.
Thankfully, she’s since mellowed into a more comfortable “kick the system in the nuts, but only metaphorically because I’m a pacifist” 30’s. Nowadays she pretty much relegates her activism to pissing off the man by giving away free vegan food in the park with her Food Not Bombs group. They’ve even been threatened with arrest, I think. Because giving away healthy food is just letting the terrorists win.
The Taffy Pullers
The Ninja Solderers, Local 477
I can’t think of a better band name than one I first saw here,
“Farting Rainbows.”
* Smoking Gnu
* ??/??? Percent
* Buddy Boom & the Rimshots
* stet
* The Scobberlotchers
* Scythe Matterz
* Permanent Floating Riot Club
* Indentured Savants
* Onymous Oojahs
The Tropes. First LP: Hidden Royalty. First single: “Big Bad.”
Blood and gravy
“Ladies and gentlemen, direct from Crawford, Texas, George and Neil, The Idiot Bushes!!!!”
[Cue bad intro to “Roadhouse Blues”]
I don’t have a first band, but on Guitar Hero I have two bands: Chemical Toilet and Monstars. haha
“YoMomma”, as in, “I saw YoMomma last night.”
Playground of Destruction
Psychosocial Resilience Syndrome
Lethal Needle Robot
Decompressive Obsession
Transcranial Gunshot Wound
Nuclear Craniectomy
Inviscerate
Body Melt
Steam powered lobotomy
Rancid Hummus.
All-vegan punk band.
Phased Plasma Rifles.
Invitation Barrage – A term I wrote in my apology e-mail to my friends I’m pestering to sign up for Twitter.
Ryiadh censors
No net access to infidels
Singing at prayer time
Sorry, i just realized Boing Boing is “blocked” here, and it pisses me off no end.
I’ve always sworn that if I ever recovered the musical ability I had when I was a kid, I would start up a band called “The Alternative Ambassadors”
Chevette @ 24: are you aware that David Byrne’s concert/backing band in the early ’90s (after he left Talking Heads) was called Ten Car Pile-Up? (And even if you are aware, there’s probably someone reading this list who isn’t, so it isn’t a complete waste of pixels.)
Sadly, I’ve forgotten so many good band names over the years that I longer know how to remember them.
The Big Fat American Cheeseburger Eaters.
Possum’s Taint is my band name. Definitely rockabilly!!
Severe Tire Damage. I came up with the name in 1996, before They Might Be Giants used it for an album. I swear!
The Attenuated Nipple Orchestra. We even have a logo.
The Shoehorn Chromophiles.
Big Red Rock Hammer
Sucking Chest Wound. A guy who crashed on my couch (for about 5 months) was always saying, “It’s nature’s way of telling you to slow down.”
I decided on Sexual Chocolate after Mr. Randy Watson’s group in “Coming to America”
the ultraviolet catastrophe
Oates And The Other Guy From Wham
My fav band name ever…..Wronghole
Maybe this reference is too old, but I always wanted to be in a band called Epstein’s Mother.
Cattywhumpus
Free Radicals
Peyote Ugly
Organized Chaos
Amoeba Sheep, or Kara Thrace and Her Special Destiny
Onbesproken – the Dutch word for “not previously discussed” mostly because I like the sound of the word.
Something like- An Idiot. Then people get to say “I am listening to An Idiot.” Or “An Idiot is performing on TV” Or I could use “The Best Band Ever” Hmmm. The possibilities are endless!
I once wrote a short story that involved a band called Thalidomide Kittens.
Fifty Pallets of Bob