Blathering Lockdown: Day Five
Posted on January 28, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 178 Comments
Is the book done? NO
Blather limiter: ON
Your question for the day: The Constitution has been amended to let YOU choose the next president! Personally! The catch: It can’t be someone who ever officially entered the 2008 presidential race (“officially” = On a ballot to date). Who do you choose? Real people, please, and all official restrictions (over 35, US native, alive) apply. Other than that, go nuts. Be as serious or as stupid as you like.
Have fun with it — see you tomorrow.
Gotta go with comedian Gilbert Gottfried. Listening to him blare out the State Of The Union in that distinctive honk of his would TOTALLY be worth the downfall of western civilization…
I think I’d pick your wife. I have a feeling she probably has quite the gift of diplomacy considering the things you do to the things in the fridge.
Why, you ask?
Mary McDonnell. Plays the best looking president on a TV show EVER!
I’d probably go with Stephen Colbert. He never was allowed on the SC ballot, so he qualifies under the condition that Scalzi set.
I wouldn’t appoint Scalzi, though — he can’t even finish his own book, let alone get anything done as President. Though the photoshoppery on the White House web site would be nice…
Connie Willis. Smart, sane, and whoo-hoo-cons in the White House!
Al Franken — the State of the Union address would still be hilarious, without the downfall of Western Civ as we know it.
I’m going to go with my English teacher, Mr. Caton. The man is a beacon of logic and knows the political game (he has masters in both law and English, thus his class is called “Law and Literature”, or “Literature and Law”. Depends on the year. He switches them to prove a point about how one isn’t more important to the class and how they work symbiotically). He’s just one of the smartest people I’ve ever known, and one day he was talking about GitMo and I turned to my friend Robert (kid knows nothing but politics. I’m serious. He’s not very good at math, he’s only okay at science, he’s only good at lit because its a class also about law, he’s good at history because he goes and figures out supreme court cases that happened around the time they’re studying and relate it, but the guy knows political science) and said “hey, I’d vote for Caton for president, you?” and he said “I can’t imagine a better man for the job.” So, I nominate Caton. Caton/Corwin (AP gov teacher) 08!
…just off the top of my head
Is Mary McDonnell the best looking – or was Geena Davis? Hard to decide. Mary has more gravitas, I think.
How old is Scalzi – 35 yet? Because he could do for the American presidency what he did for SFWA.
George Carlin. Just because.
Jeri @10: I believe he’s 38, but since I got this info from Wikipedia, I’d take it with a grain of salt.
If I’m feeling particularly nasty, Bill Maher. Or Steve Jobs. :)
The serious one: A boss I had when I had a gov’t job who made way less than he was worth and hated his job but stuck with it because he had 2 daughters who loved horses and who donated his little free time as a Scout Master.
The facetious: Noam Chomsky, just to see foaming mouths at FOX.
Doesn’t matter that he has no political skills. The current administration has proven that you can get by on charisma alone, provided you have a support team that pretends to know what it’s doing.
General Wesley Clark. Why? Because Scalzi’s endorsement of him back in ought-four really, really took.
You mean I can’t pick Miles Vorkosigan for President with Admiral Naismith as VP? Aw, shucks.
I’m surprised no one has nominated themselves yet. :) I’d step up – (well, I *do* mutter “if I ruled the world” on occasion…so I feel I ought to put my money where my mouth is, heh) except, well, I’m not a citizen. Nor over 35 (really? that’s an official restriction? who knew?)
1. Because I like to exploit loopholes
2. Because while Barack is out making pretty speeches, Michelle will be getting the real work done.
Call me when there’s an election for ruler of the universe!
Jon Stewart. Seriously. So long as the writer’s strike is over.
Oh, that one’s easy.
No, seriously: Bill Clinton.
On a sidenote, I completely hate Stephen Colbert.
Ok… really? No clue.
Russ Feingold. Dodd was running, briefly, or I’d pick him.
All of the talking heads who think it’s such a simple job. I figure most would last about a week so I could get each of them a turn befor the four years are up.
Bill Moyers, with Jon Stewart as VP.
15. Julia says:
“The current administration has proven that you can get by on charisma alone, provided you have a support team that pretends to know what it’s doing.”
Charisma and Dubbya? That’s rich. Thanks for the laugh.
My vote for Prez goes to Robert Heinlein. He may be deceased, but he’s still got more life in him than the cynical stone-throwing pussies like Stewart, Colbert, or the suicidal Carlin.
I can haz John Scalzi 4 Prezident?
Native-born, that’s a dealbreaker for Richard Dawkins. Dang. Noam Chomsky would certainly be entertaining, though I guess I’ll have to go with Stewart/Colbert. Yes, seriously. I think they’d do a great job. Hopefully Jon would appoint Bill Richardson as Secretary of State, though, because *that* job is going to require more than any comedian has available. George Carlin might make a good SecDef, though. Or Treasury…
Max – Bill Moyers is a pretty great choice.
Since it must be a real person I guess I can’t have Jed Bartlett. So I’m going for Martin Sheen, that way I can at least pretend.
Going for the “realism” route, I want a Gore/Feingold White House.
I’d actually rather have Matt Santos over Jed Barlett.
Bill Irwin. I mean, who WOULDN’T want the best living clown in America as president.
Wait! That’s not what I meant to say!
Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts.
He’s already shown himself to be something of a consensus-builder, and has more than ample legal qualifications. Sure, no Chief Justice has ever become President (and only once the other way around), but think of the experience he could bring to bear.
A president! Let me just relish the thought of Australia becoming a republic before I work out who I might choose.
Garrison Keillor, why not, seems like a good idea
Peter Sagal. He can have the rest of the Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me regulars for a cabinet. At least they know a silly idea when they hear one.
Daniel Dennet.One of my personal demi-gods.He’ll probably get impeached for trying to disconnect religion from government funding, though.
@Hastur #33/34: Now, that was funny.
Sec. of State Rice.
What is her current job?
Can she handle the Presidency, I would think so, and she is already vetted with everybody and we know her history.
May seem a little obvious, but I’d go for Martin Sheen
stephen king…..maybe he can scare the politicos into doing the right things
I second the nomination for Martin Sheen. I adored him as President Bartlett.
Going off-topic here for a bit.
But Zoe’s Tale is now available for pre-order on Amazon.com
The street date listed on Amazon is August 19, 2008.
I’ve already placed my order.
While I think Mary McConnell, Martin Sheen and Harrison Ford play some rockin’ presidents, I’m having a weird moment this morning and will pick Oprah. I’m sure I’ll change my mind by lunch and go back to Harrison Ford. What can I say? He’s HOT.
Mayor Michael Bloomberg. And I’m serious. He’d do a better job than all of the other candidates, he’s sociality liberal and fiscally *sensible*, not fiscally conservative. He came in and improved on the good work that the Giuliani did, and managed not to be an incredible vindictive tyrant like Giuliani was when he was mayor.
Also, he’s a Noo Yawker.
Teresa Nielsen Hayden. Political stupidity will be disemvoweled.
No, not really, but *someone* had to say it. Trust me.
Seriously, we made it 50 entries w/o the obvious Chuck Norris? Did I miss something? Is he secretly Canadian? You all need to stop clogging my Interweb tubes.
If Chuck Norris is out, I nominate John Bolton. Because I wanna see the moonbats go pop.
Doh. Type faster, edit less.
I scanned the comments to make sure no one said Tom Brady. He’s rich, good-looking, has a beautiful girlfriend, is athletic, and worshipped. He’s a perfect turd.
I’m not really sure… some that I can think of, I’m not sure how they stand on various issues. Maybe Colin Powell.
Seriously: Do I want to inflict the thankless job on anybody I admire?
Other than that, we seemed to have done quite well with the last actor to hold the post. Harrison Ford has experience kicking Russian ass, so he would be the logical choice. But Martin Sheen or even Michael Douglas looked like good presidential material on-screen. (I could never say the same about poor Fred).
Jesse “insert your own joke” Ventura.
Can we nominate dead people?
Right now, I want breakfast as president.
David Lee Roth, because after a pervert and a moron in the White House, America is ready for Zaphod Beeblebrox. Since Zaphod’s just this fictional guy, you know, the next best thing would be Diamond Dave.
Sammy Hagar would be VP, and Gary Cherone Chief of Staff. Only Cherone would be fired after 1 year under mysterious circumstances.
#21 (Bill Clinton) raises an interesting rules question. Nobody can be elected President more than twice, but we’re not electing the President here, we’re picking him using stipulated one-shot powers. On the other hand, the 22nd Amendment was not written for a world in which such a thing happens (“elected” was specified to allow for a Vice-President who became President less than two years before the end of a partial term to serve two full terms later). So does it apply or not?
Anyway, I second Al Gore.
One of the major action heros from blockbuster movies. Hrmm… Arnold?
If Bill Clinton is going to count, then let’s hear it for giving good old George W Bush another 4 years! Hee haw!!!!!
(If not, then the obvious choice is Dick Cheney, right?)
Guys, we don’t want Martin Sheen or Jed Bartlett – we want Aaron Sorkin! He wrote them, plus Michael Douglas’s president in The American President.
P. J. O’Rourke. Well-versed in world affairs, cynical about both parties and without pretentions of virtuous behavior.
John Kitzhaber, former two-term governor of Oregon, for many, many reasons.
Laura Bush with George W as VP. She steps down right after the inauguration, 4 more years of presidential Bliss.
This meets all the technical requirements set forth there is nothing that prohibits a person from becoming the VP after being president and then becoming president again due to the president vacating the office.
Seriously thought my real vote is for:
Mary McDonnell, time we had a HOT president, as for Geena Davis…Blach!
Joseph R Dokes, of Witzcahaumenie, Wisconsin. He works in the Safeway Deli, he is single, and has a GED.
I gotta go with Al Franken too.
Jeri said: How old is Scalzi – 35 yet? Because he could do for the American presidency what he did for SFWA.
What? Lose the election?
Humorously: I’d back the Naismith/Vorkosigan ticket. Boy howdy, would we see some changes then. “Forward Momentum!”
Seriously? My wife. Can’t imagine a more competent, tolerate no BS, yet compassionate, work-till-it’s-done-right person.
Of course, then I’d never see her again, as she would be working 100+ hours a week. Hmm. “I think I’d better think this out again…”
Yay finally about halfway down someone mentioned West Wing. I would go for Bradley Whitford myself (“Josh Lyman”).
Or, as someone else said earlier, Bruce Campbell. heheh.
Taxpayer chosen at random.
Taxpayer, not tax credit receiver. They have to have PAID money to the IRS last year.
While we’re at it, pick the congress critters the same way. It couldn’t be worse than the way we do it now.
I nominate Cordwainer Bird. State dinners would never be the same.
Hands down Ben Stein.
It pays better than my current job.
He’s an Electrical Engineering professor at Carnegie Mellon specializing in electricity and magnetism and waves and fields, and he’s one of the most practical, intelligent men I know. I disagree with some of his politics (from what he let slip during class) but I know I can trust him to sit down and actually do the math before embarking on a policy.
He’s an Engineer, so his job is to solve problems. (and we’ve got problems here…)
He’s a Professor, so political BS is not foreign to him.
He’s a political unknown, so he doesn’t owe anyone anything. (saving maybe me, for making him president…)
Right now, I’d vote for a two headed muskrat if it could speak in complete sentences and properly pronounce the word “nuclear”.
Cthulhu. I mean, he can’t do any worse, right?
Bill Maher http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bill-maher/
Al Gore. Wanted him 8 years ago, again 4 years ago, and now. No contest.
Reading others suggest them makes me include Russ Feingold and Al Franken on the list for sure.
Brett @53, I’ll see your Chuck Norris and raise you the sadly now deceased Barbara Jordan. As Henry Rollins says, it would do much for our credibility in the world to have a black lesbian president. Just not Condi Rice.
Because “was he in Predator” turned out to be the perfect way to select a governor.
Corwin — by that standard, why not Shane Black?
Hey, it’s a dirty job.
I agree with #77, Ben Stein.
Serious: GEN David Petraeus. Talk about a guy that was assigned an utterly thankless job that had broken the reputations of other men and who was absolutely expected to fail, and then actually salvage some measure of respectability out of the effort and at least improve security enough to give the Iraqi government a chance. Big believer in results and he has certainly achieved them.
Not so Serious: Ming the Merciless (as played by Max von Sydow in ‘Flash Gordon’). I just have a mental image of him at the State of the Union telling the Senate Minority Leader to prove his loyalty by falling on his sword, or proclaiming ‘Prepare the Earth Woman for our Pleasure!’. Priceless.
Seriously, there’s no one I’d trust more than myself. I’m a smart guy, creative, with a working knowledge of the government, how it’s run, and how it ought to be run. I don’t want it to intrude on my private life (or yours), but think it ought to do the really big things we want it to do that we can’t do for ourselves.
And since I’m probably unelectable in a standard election (poor, honest, and Jewish), this is definitely the proper back-door to get the best guy into the job.
Feel free to write me in on your ballot. I know I’m going to write my name on mine.
James Hansen, because we need someone who believes in reality and isn’t afraid to speak truth to power.
It can’t be Ben Stein, he’s backing an ID movie! I couldn’t get through all the horsecrap on teh website to get to the point, but if I get to choose, ID belief is a dealbreaker.
My holy trinity of James Randi, Richard Dawkins and Michael Shermer are almost all excluded because they are not native born.
I’d be up for a few more years of Clinton, although he’s making an ass of himself trying to get his wife elected.
Gore would be a no-brainer choice.
I’d happily vote for Al Frankin, but might draw the line at Michael Moore.
I really think I’d do a pretty good job, except I tend to see things in a more black and white way than I should. I’m good with compromise though, fairly likeable, and have no serious skeletons in my closet. Whoops, I’m only 32…
I really couldn’t care less “who,” per se. I’m still 2 years shy of electing myself, and without at least a day-long interview (preferably with the interviewee under the influence of a truly effective truth serum) I don’t think there’s anyone else who I could trust with the position.
That said, I’d probably work a deal with a homeless guy to give it to him. Should do the whole country some good, whether the guy’s crazy or not – if nothing else, weakening the authority of the executive branch of the government would be a great result.
Don Imus. Because it would freak out the political establishment, regardless of left/right liberal/conservative orientation.
And Charles McCourt for VP>
Well, Miles fills one important requirement for the presidency – “Must Have Embarrassing Brother With Substance Abuse Problem” (food’s a substance, right?)
Though I would love to see the Swift Boating of his extremely interesting service record. “No, that wasn’t me, that was the little Admiral. Look, can we change the subject? Yes?”
“David Broder, New York Times. How do you respond to the allegations on Drudge Report that your secretary of state is a hermaphrodite?”
I’d say pick someone without much ambition or ability. The idea is to swing power back to Congress where it belongs…
How about Warren Buffett?
Has his shit together financially. Check.
Keeps his head when others panic. Check.
No worry about post-presidential income opportunities. Check.
Folksy charisma. Check.
Realizes the best thing to do in many cases is nothing. Check.
Ballsy enough to remember Article 1,Section 7 re: veto. Presumptive Check.
Condaleeza Rice, with Henry Rollins as the life-insurance VP.
Liz @ 81 I’d go for Cthulhu. I wanted to vote for Him in 2004, but he was off the ballot…
I’m serious. I’ve considered running for local office but the required BS has stopped me. If I could start at the top, however, well, yeah!
I haven’t sold out to anyone yet so if I did it should be worth a fortune, and I could retire as a Republican aka “I’ve got mine to hell with you.”
I wouldn’t want to sell out, that would be plan B.
Here’s what I have to offer – Smart – Engineer (problem solver), no skeletons in the closet (married and faithful 25 years, never used pot or other controlled substances), Christian, actor (TV experience and can give a good speech and fake sincerity when needed).
Negatives – at 6’0″ not quite tall enough. Also, I have a keen desire to “stick it to the man,” so the powers that be would fight me tooth and nail. And I have a soft spot for the little guy, which would REALLY piss off the Republicans.
But by golly it would be a fun ride – and overall good for this uptight frightened country of ours.
I’m 36, a natural-born citizen, and I can’t possibly screw it up as much as the last guy. And hey, “I thought about it for a long time and I picked myself” worked just fine for Cheney, right?
An Eric 2008–Because You Can’t Pick A Worse Candidate
typed by the Committee For Vote For An Eric Because You Were Just Going To Throw Your Vote Away This Year Anyway
I know he ruled he wouldn’t run, but I’d name Colin Powell. I can’t believe no one else has suggested it.
My wife. She doesn’t take any shit and she gets a lot of shit done.
Alternately, I think Jimmy Buffett might bring something, er, interesting to the White House.
I’d like to take this opportunity to express my sympathy for PNH. I now know how hard it is waiting for Scalzi to finish writing a book.
Eric at @102
I ran on that very platform for Senior Class Representative in high school. We had literally hundreds of 8.5×11 fliers that said things like “A vote for Jason is better than nothing”
In lieu of any real suggestions, I’ll just comment on how anyone capable of getting elected as a president is not qualified to do the job, so you should just give the job to someone who doesn’t want it and not let them know that they have it.
That should do it.
If Chuck Norris made the list I feel I must add Ted Nugent. Bow hunting in the rose garden. Woot!
jas @108: Did you win? Please tell me you won.
Sean Connery b/c well…he’s Sean Connery!
And if we’re amending the constitution, I think we should let Bill Clinton have another shot at office.
Oprah, maybe. But only so long as she isn’t picking our books.
Victor David Hanson
Bruce Campbell, easy. No one is better prepared to defend the nation against hordes of the undead. Plus, he’s got experience!
With the way both Clintons are acting lately, why would anyone want either one in office?
Oh, man, Lawrence Lessig – what a brilliant choice, Gianluca.
Especially as played by Christopher Lloyd. :)
Brett Michaels – Then we could have a really cool reality show where he picks the skankiest first lady ever. We could call it “Rock of Love – White House Style!”
I feel dumber having just written that. Read at your own risk.
Sean Hannity. We are moving too slowly towards a police state. He was put us on the fast track.
He would put us on the fast track, I mean. There is a preview button I should learn to use it.
Robert Duvall always struck me as just enough cowboy, just enough badass, and just enough old softie to be a good commander and chief. And if I wanted someone who has acctually been in the world of politics I’d have to say my old senator Tom Daschle. The guy got anthrax sent to his office, became house majority leader, and lost the title and eventually his senatorship all in the course of a year or so. Amazing.
After watching the SAG awards last night I’m tempted to say Charles Durning. His bio impressed me.
But I also really like David Simon…
Brian Cashman, for two reasons:
1. I think he’d do well at the job. He knows how to work effectively, 24/7, with a**holes breathing down his neck and questioning his every move; he knows how to plan for both the short and the long term; he doesn’t blanch at the discussion of insanely huge amounts of money; and he’s familiar with the whole notion of “accountability.”
2. It would get him out of the Yankees’ front office, thus depriving them of a major asset. Also a plus.
Will Smith. Since he’s going to President someday anyway, we might as well get it over with.
Come on people!
If he can make Disneyland the happiest place on Earth, imagine what he could do for the entire U.S.
Another vote for Al Gore.
NOT Al Franken, because we really need to elect him to the Senate from Minnesota to replace Norm the creep who slithered into office.
If we include fictional characters, I think we *need* Miles Vorkosigan to get us out of the mess in the Middle East.
Lee Iococa, I wanted him 20 years ago I want him in there now.
If he weren’t dead I would also nominate Dave Thomas of Wendy’s Fame.
Too bad Stephen Jay Gould is dead.
I second (or third) the nomination for Lawrence Lessig.
Gary Johnson, former governor of New Mexico.
Help Wanted for immediate opening.
Candidate for President of the United States of America.
Must be available for 4-8 year commitment; willing to re-locate to Washington, DC. You may keep your current home for extended annual vacation use (stipend will be provided).
Job requires frequent travel. Must have passport and immunizations.
Military, law enforcement, social services, and/or public education experience helpful but not required.
Ability to get along with others and react well under pressure. Above-average ability to speak extemporaneously required. Theater/improv experience useful.
Fluent in Spanish, Chinese and Arabic.
Must have works of Thomas Paine and The Federalist Papers memorized. If you consider yourself a Christian, you will be expected at interview to explicate the Beatitudes. All of them.
CREDIT CHECK AND DRUG TEST.
If interested, please apply to Jeff Hentosz at 555-4321.
Gore, of course.
Howard Dean. Intelligent. Experienced at governing. Our loss via the press.
Oooh, oooh, I second P. J. O’Rourke. ‘Parliament of Whores’ remains may favorite book on politics. His official motto for his administration would surely be: ‘Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.’
Hilzoy of Obsidian Wings.
Colim Powell or Condoleezza Rice.
I’d choose Al Gore, for all the obvious reasons.
Aside: This appointment thing’s been done before, if you remember. It’s how we got Mr. Bush.
Abe Lincoln. Oh, wait. Damn he’s dead.
Hell, repeal the 22nd amendment. Bush for emperor!
How about John Glenn or Scott Carpenter. John was in congress so he already has experience and I think he already tried to run for president in the past but it would be cool to have him lead. Yeah Glenn is old but so is McCain. Both Glenn and Carpenter are very intelligent and tremendously brave individuals and unfortunately are the last 2 remaining Mercury 7 astronauts. I would vote for them in a millisecond and the “Rollback” procedure needs to be invented….now.
I’d pick Jack, from the Jack in the Box Commercials.
Just kidding. I’d run a poll to find the person who least wanted to be president in this country. I’d put great effort into finding that person who, if given the position of president, would have to have the Secret Service save them from themselves more than external threats. After finding that person, I would make them president
This follows from the logic that any person who REALLY wants to be president isn’t qualified.
Seriously, I was going to write, and then saw it already done:
#98 “How about Warren Buffett?”
But I wanted to give 3 good reasons:
(1) one word: invest. This is the greatest investor in America, and would do wonders for our Economy (of which it’s the, stupid).
(2) This would stop Bill Gates from buying his way to the same presidency, which would be bad for the Open Source movement and other ideologies.
(3) Why go only half-way with a billionaire who understands business, namely Bloomberg?
Now, the question is, who’s the Vice President under The Sage from Omaha?
I do like #50 # Patrick Nielsen Hayden’s suggestion: Bruce Sterling.
But let me give the 3 implicit reasons:
(1) One word: futurism. Gives new depth to the themesong “Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow.”
(2) Green, but in a cool way.
(3) Kick-ass speeches, and best White House blog ever.
And I say that as a professional futurist myself. Hey, I invented the phrase “Cybernetic War” (see my cover article of the same name in Omni, May 1979) and was the first to explain in a mainstream magazine that there was likely a giant black hole in the center of the Milky Way (“Star Power for Supersocieties”, Omni, April 1980).
Futurist would avoid what Sir Arthur C. Clarke warned against: (a) Failure of Imagination; (b) Failure of Nerve.
Now I point out an alternate history novel manuscript that I wrote in which, as an aside, I mention that Albert Einstein had accepted the offer for him to have been President of Israel.
I think of what might have happened if the technocrat movement had succeeded in the Great Depression (and the kilowatt hour became the basis of the currency).
In the same way as Einstein for Israeli president, I’d have like Isaac Asimov as USA President (unfortunately he was born in Russia).
I’d have liked Richard Feynman as U.S. President. Really. Maybe with Alan Alda as stand-in.
If the country is ready for a Mormon president with Mitt Romney, why not leap forward in native-born religions and leap to Tom Cruise as the first Scientologist president? He’s good looking, knows how to deliver his lines very well, and ssincerely, and unblinkingly, and is unlikely to pick Oprah as vice president (although she’s a leading african american woman candidate).
If we want a real scientist for President (in the footsteps of Jefferson more than Hoover or Carter), I have several favorites (again, over 40, native born):
Greg Benford, really smart, hardworking, media savvy, whote-house advisor experience, and (with all due respect to my Caltech schoolmate friend Dave Brin) closer to the Center, in a good libertarian way.
Ed Stone, Chief Scientist of the Voyager mission, Planetary Science professor at Caltech (from whom I took Physics in 1960-mumble), former JPL Director, and a good administrator.
Stephen Koonin, currently Chief Scientist of BP, former provost/VP of Caltech, I’m biased by having gone to high school with him. Has National Security experience: wrote visionary paper predicting effects of snailmailed anthrax. Has acknowledged expertise in Energy policy. As Head of Faculty at Caltech, administered well while making NO enemies. Good choice for first Jewish President, for which he would be less controversial than, say, Noam Chomsky.
Ed Witten. Because he’s just as smart as Stephen Hawking, but most of you never heard of him. Downside, although I love his lectures and papers, I can’t pretend that I fully understand them. Hey, how often does a Physicist win the Field Medal (sort of the Nobel Prize of Math)?
*sigh* now to brace myself for hearing the Last State of The Union Speech by our worst President ever, a.k.a. Emperor Bush II. Reality can be SUCH a downer, compared to good Science Fiction.
Keeping an eye on this.
Because 90% of the posters and 98% of the nominees are going on my list.;-)
San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom. He risked his position for a matter of principle (the principle being that same-sex couples are denied equality before the law when the law won’t let them marry); he puts tremendous effort and resources into addressing homelessness and homocide, including regularly walking through the Tenderloin so he can talk to homeless people firsthand; and he’s both pro-business and pro-union.
I find this statement offensive…
Be as serious or as stupid as you like.
Like we need permission to be stupid or something….
James Gandolfini in character as Tony Soprano for President.
and then let him loose on the Senate and Assembly… tell me things wouldn’t get done then!!!
Are we allowing fictional characters? ’cause if we are I want Havelock Vetinari, champion of the whole “one man, one vote” movement. Or Gendo Ikari, I mean if you spend a few billion on the military, ya really should get a couple of giant mechas out of it.
Patrick M – why not combine both and be seriously stupid. Oh wait, that’d get us another Bush. Nevermind.
JEB JEB JEB!
Ralph Nader. *Ducks*
Seriously…. I have friends who might be good at it (Hal O’Brien has potential), but I’d not inflict that on him; even to get named Chief of Staff.
I think, of the people who are in a position to pull it off… Feingold. He doesn’t want it, and that speaks well for his sanity.
Adam, his lines weren’t as good as Carl’s :)
I gotta say, the Nuge is an inspired choice, though
Lee Iacocca……lots of common sense
Weird Al, or whoa hold on, how old is Carrot Top?
Hmm, I skipped over this one earlier in the day, but am now intrigued. Must be the chardonnay. Frank Zappa is sadly deceased, and Vaclav Havel and Nelson Mandella are constitutionally encumbered, so the obvious choices are out. Love the idea of Bruce Sterling, but, when it comes down to it, I’m left with one clear choice: Bill Gates. The only system in existence more impacted, convoluted, self-defeating and nonetheless-mostly-functional than Microsoft Windows is the US government. Someone who has spent twenty-five years making a fortune selling chicken sh*t and calling it chicken salad is exactly the person we need leading it.
Barney Frank. Comes off as authentically liberal and nobody’s fool.
Weeelll doggies. Jed Clampett. What office should Granny hold?
I’m another vote for Miles (forward momentum indeed) but if I can’t get him, a Barney Frank/Russ Feingold would work for me. Barney has managed to keep his job while keeping the respect of his constituants and without a Big Party backing.
Three choices, in order of preference:
1) my mom
2) bell hooks
3) Tank Girl
I really don’t understand these votes for Miles: he is still under 40, so that disqualifies him – both his parents are obviously more qualified and so is his cousin Gregor. I’d go with Cordelia for President and Gregor for VP.
If they are not acceptable because of their fictional status, let’s elect Barry Bonds for president and Roger Clemens for VP: after all you gotta give them some consolation prize instead of Cooperstown.
Re: #163 Riccardo:
In much better alternative Earths, George W. Bush got his dream job after CEO of the Texas Rangers: Major League Baseball Commissioner. After all, his smarter brother Jeb was supposed to be president. Unfortunately, our Earth went on the track where the stupid Bush became President, and Jeb term-linited out his govership of Florida as George Herbert Walker Bush wept (thinking if only THIS son had gone to the White House), the other brother Neil got bailed out $2 Billion taxpayer bucks for the Silverado Savings & Loan debacle, and then sold $5,000 books on wheely-racks to No Child Left Behind-infested school districts.
“How some you made more money than me in salary,” President Calvin Coolidge asked Babe Ruth.
“Because,” said the Bambino, “I had a better year.”
Ajay @98 – *giggle* Now I want to read the fanfic…:D
John Scalzi is, according to Wikipedia, 38, and was born in California. This means he is indeed eligible for the Presidency, being a natural-born US citizen and over the age of 35.
Robin Williams, with George Carlin as Veep — or vice-versa.
David Mustaine for president, but only if Ted Nugent is Vice President. (there will be no punchline forthcoming) Thank you.
Burt Rutan as President, Ted Nugent as VP.
I really don’t understand these votes for Miles: he is still under 40, so that disqualifies him – both his parents are obviously more qualified and so is his cousin Gregor. I’d go with Cordelia for President and Gregor for VP.
Well, but how old is he really? He was 31 or so in “Diplomatic Immunity”, but that was published some time ago. Also, you’re forgetting that Barrayaran days aren’t the same as Earth days – they’re 26 hours long. So he really only needs to be 32 in order to qualify. He should be fine by November.
And Gregor’s already got a job – remember?
Bel Thorne for State, Mark for Treasury, Simon Illyan (obviously) as National Security Advisor, Elli Quinn as chief of staff. Ivan, I think, could be left at the embassy in London, where he seemed to be getting on very nicely (and would be unlikely to do too much damage).
And Piotr for Defense. Tension in the cabinet meetings, I know, but at least he’d keep military spending under control. “What on earth d’you need these stealth fighters for, General? In my day we managed it all with guerrillas and horse cavalry!”
No slight meant to our host, but I don’t think John Perry would be a good president, because I don’t really think he’d want the job; and, Cincinnatus-fantasies notwithstanding, I don’t think that conscript presidents are any better than conscript anything elses. It’s a lot easier to do your job well if you enjoy it.
Steve Jobs. Everything would be efficient, user-friendly, and pretty.
Submitting your taxes would simply be a button at irs.gov that says: Pay Up
Bill gates of course now we can monopolize the entire world! Muwhahaha
My dad: http://www.rockmage.com/
Since we have precedent that dead Missouri democrats can be elected to office, HARRY TRUMAN.
And we don’t @!#$ up and stick someone else in. We just leave the office empty for four years.
Lisa and IdentityCrisis: excellent idea both of you… let’s join them in a single ticket (Steve Jobs for President and BillG for VP): they’ll be so busy fighting each other that they might leave the rest of the world in peace.
Colin Powell or my husband.
Steven Spielberg. Because when Hollywood like dooms day senerios arise he will know what to do.