Posted on March 16, 2008
Posted by John Scalzi
Athena: [Tells me some trivial and obvious lie]
Me: Really? You expect me to believe that? Listen, sweetie, if you’re going to lie to me, make it big lie.
Athena: I love you, daddy.
Did you give the obvious response in this case? “What, you mean you HATE me?”, followed by ridiculous displays of shock and dismay.
Oh, damn! You got served! LoL
You have been served…
I can’t wait for the teenage years.
Trouble. At least she’s funny.
A true smartass. You must be very proud.
Nine going on 19.
We call that leading the witness in my household.
You’re creating a monster.
You think you’re in control.
What makes you think I think I’m in control?
Oh LAWD! I swear it’s WORSE when they’re funny (and you, the female parent, apparently have the sense of humor of a 12 YO boy).
I live with Chris Rock (age 12) and Adam Sandler (age 14)
Baseball bat wielding wife, smartass daughter, ass-chewing cat… tsk-tsk.
The ownage….it blinds!
My wife used to give me proper hell when my daughters lied to us, because my response was always a tutorial.
“Don’t insult my intelligence by telling me stupid lies; that’s just making it three offences rather than two. Do me the courtesy of telling me something I might actually believe, if you’re going to lie to me at all.”
She seemed to think it was asking for trouble. Go figure.
“Start with the part where Jayne got beaten by a ninety-pound girl.”
Bwah ha ha ha!
Annalee beat me to it.
JS, I stand corrected. You, like me, are the lone human male in a house of females. There’s not even the illusion of control.
It’s the set-up, and Athena spikes the ball for point!
FWIW Chang in pain – gender has nothing to do with the illusion of control. My almost-six-year old daughter makes me realize that we are doomed. Maybe it’s worse because I *know* exactly what sorts of mischief will be bubbling about in her head, since it seems frighteningly like my head at that age. Except she seems to have more self-confidence, which is great and horrifying.
Ooooh, John, you are gonna be in a world of trouble when Athena hits puberty. I’d tell you stories of my daughter (to whom your daughter bears a striking resemblance in attitudes and behaviors), but I don’t want to scare you more than you already must be.
Be brave, man. Be brave.
A guy’s guide to raising children.
Boys: Worry for the first 21 years.
Girls: Worry after Age 12.
She is pubescent. Were she not she’d hardly be as snarky as she is. She is full of herself, and she knows the power of cute. Thank of her as a cat without the good sense.
What she needs at this age is a good tickle. The kind that leaves her exhausted, gasping for breathe, giddy, and peeing herself. When they’re nine nothing establishes daddy authority better than a good tickle
Since my daughter was good for this particular line of defense to parental challenges by age 3, I don’t think you really have too big a problem. Things were occasionally ugly, lots of confrontation and much noise, but no true trouble. Plus she’s now an adult and married and I get to wish her a daughter “just like her” when the time comes. Something I’m certain my mother did to me although she denies this.
Heh. Forget the teenage years. Fear the 20’s, when you still have to deal with ’em, and have absolutely NO authority. You have to depend on respect, and lord knows THAT’s in short enough supply…..
Just remember that she is also the one who will be choosing your nursing home . . .
It reminds me of a stand-up divorced comedian who told the story of when he exclaimed to his young daughter, “You’re just like your mother!” and she shot back, “No I’m not; I can still tolerate you.”
It gets worse before it gets better. If she survives to age 15, she’ll be one formidable young woman! (Age 15 is when is starts to get better.)
Taunting the tauntable since 1998
John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, contributor – AMS
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