Posted on April 2, 2008
Posted by John Scalzi
It’s… well, just click through to see. May be not safe for work, although there’s no nudity, just wrongness.
Yes, it is wrong. But I am suddenly very hungry.
Salty humps, indeed. And yes, wrong. Food and body parts do not mix, IMHO.
Though bodyshots… now that’s a different story.
Er, ah… hmmm.
I mean, I know it’s wrong. Obviously. And yet, it speaks to me. I guess the thought experiment worked.
1. I know it wouldn’t work, but I’d appreciate it much better if the bacon wasn’t raw. I like mine pretty crispy, thank you very much.
2. I know for sure I never imagined anything that couold put me off both bacon and boobs.
Yes, udderly wrong.
Too far, indeed. But I’m ashamed to say I can now, in fact, imagine bacon being taken a bit further still.
Well there’s my two favorite things in the world combined (rightly) in that picture. Question: is it turkey bacon? That would make it three of my favorite things.
Yum yum slurp munch. [slap]
Now we need a bacon codpiece, just to make sure gender equality is maintained!
The only “wrong” I see is that it needs to be cooked bacon, for that see-through effect!
And you’re the one telling us to lay of the whole bacon thing, John? Somehow it rings hollow now. [smirks]
Oh, and thank you so very much Jeff. I had blocked any further thoughts until you had to go and make it a challenge. And right before bed too, dammit.
You know, it’s a good look for her. She has nice, firm, non-droopy breasts, of a reasonable size, so as to not use four pounds of bacon to achieve the look.
She probably would get more support with cooked product, and you’d have less of a food poisoning issue with cooked….
Egad, now I’m hearing comments like “would you like some sausage with that bacon?”, so I’ll be going away now.
Heh. Of course, this comes right after I tried my boss’s new vodka infusion at our weekly GURPS session.
Bacon. Infused. Vodka.
Boss likes it, another guy loves it, I… tried it simply to say I had. I thought it was, as expected, pretty darn bad.
All that text under the photo, and none of it is a phone number.
I’m pleased to see no one’s been lame enough to make a joke utilizing the word “pork” in suggestive ways.
I thought about that, Tania, but the adhesive qualities of the raw bacon are still greater than using cooked bacon, wouldn’t you say? Therefore, if we have to measure what miniscule support the, uh, apparatus has (and my initial thought was, raw bacon? But why? It’s a lousy support!), I think one (or both!) would get more from raw rather than cooked product, assuming no addition of other material.
Another thought is that, while possibly not containing as many food-poisoning elements in the cooked version as the uncooked, crispy strips might additionally cause abrasions to the skin during movement, which would not be a desired result.
Lastly, notice that the lady in question has to be inclined in order to present a coherent model? This can only ever be a static display. Very inefficient.
Back to comments from the males of the thread…
Don’t you have a novel to write or something?
Wow. This freaks me out. I’m gonna be shaky all day now.
I think Thena’s talking to you, John. ;)
Actually I’m writing a novella at the moment. The novel comes after that.
Regarding the support issue, I think it could be overcome if we could devise a “sheet” type bacon. We must look to science and reason for the answer to this pressing concern.
I can bring home the bacon…dada dada…and fry it up in a pan…da da. And never let you forget you’re a man.
Sigh. Now I know the inspiration for that perfume.
If I showed this to my wife she’d immediately suggest that we try a bacon codpiece, using the vegan bacon that’s in the freezer. This is why I only show my wife this site when there’s a picture of a kitten.
Bacon top, tanning bed, crisp clothing without starch.
So whence the bacon jock? You know that someone’s got to be working on that.
It makes me all puckery to think of the horrid infection potential, though.
The official founder and administrator of the
“Things you can do with Bacon”-list
had this comment:
Wrong? Er, no, that is the very definition of right!
Serendipitously, just before seeing this post I read a review for a new book: Sex and Bacon: Why I Love Things That Are Very, Very Bad for Me
I think someone just outdid you in what they could do with bacon.
Just think what could be done with ham…
Taunting the tauntable since 1998
John Scalzi, proprietor – JS
Athena Scalzi, editor/writer -AMS
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