My Grammar Bitch For the Day
Dear writers in the English language:
“Alright” is not a word. You’re looking for “all right.” For everyone confused by reading in the dictionary that “alright” is a “non-standard usage,” thus maybe okay to use, you should know that “non-standard usage” is polite lexicographer speak for “version used by illiterate hamster pokers,” and when you’re not looking, they all point and laugh at you. Yes, they do. I’ve seen them do it. And it was mean.
So: “All right” is all right. “Alright” is an abomination against all things good and pure and those who use it are on the side of the demons. The lameoid stanky demons, not the ones who dress well and smell like toasted cinnamon. They all use “all right.”
Thank you for your attention.
Update: Christian writes in the comments:
Roy Lichtenstein taunts you John. And all your moderation powers are useless against him!
Take that, grammatically-incorrect mid-century pop art! The power of Photoshop compels you!