You Don’t Have to Be an Ohio SF/F Person to Wear This Shirt, But If You’re Not It Will Be a Lie

Look what I got from the ever-fabulous Catherynne Valente, whist at Penguicon:

The last line prompted someone to say to me, “isn’t that grammatically incorrect?” To which I said, “Dude, colloquial use on a t-shirt.” Just in case anyone’s still suspecting I’m hopelessly prescriptivist. And anyway, content-wise, it’s entirely correct; Ohio has a surprising number of sf/f folks. We sneak up on you, we do. Like ninjas. In scarlet and gray.

You say to yourself, “Hey, I love science fiction/fantasy and live in Ohio (or wish I did) — what horrible and terrifying initiation rites do I have to undergo to get a t-shirt such as this?” As much as I would like to regale you with tales of ritual scarification, or the sacred trampling of the University of Michigan logo to prove your Ohio-osity, in fact all you have to do is lay your money down. Here’s the link to the basic t-shirt, and there’s also one cut for women.

These would, naturally, be the perfect attire for Ohio Is Coming to Kick Your Ass With Science Fiction Day, which is August 19, 2008 (on account of Zoe’s Tale and Toby Buckell’s Sly Mongoose being released on that very same day), and for wearing to the OICTKYAWSF regional tour, which — yes! — will be happening. We’re still firming up dates, and Toby and I will be making a more formal announcement about that sometime in the reasonably near future. Keep your eyes glued to your computer monitor for more details. Only, you know. Not literally glued to your monitor. Because that would be icky.

35 Comments on “You Don’t Have to Be an Ohio SF/F Person to Wear This Shirt, But If You’re Not It Will Be a Lie”

  1. I call wevsies. (My kid made that up and I determined I love it).

    Go Blue! (There’s more of US than you think, too.).


    But I love Catherine and Toby, having just met both of them this weekend and found them both to be lovely. So, you know. I guess I can’t call wevsies too loudly, and I won’t start singing my fight song or anything. But. Pfft. Ohio.

  2. That’s a beautiful shirt.

    And it’s not that I’m prescriptivist. It’s that there’re is such a lovely contraction, fun to say, and probably going to disappear if we don’t cherish it. But! This does not detract from the sheer awesomeness of that shirt. And, honestly, if you hadn’t pointed it out, I mightn’t have noticed, what with the being awed by the awesomeness and all.

  3. You go away for the week-end and all we get is this losey t-shirt?

    Okay, it is a nice t-shirt and I am from Ohio as well, but I just couldn’t resist.

  4. Nice! I love me some Ohiowear…

    On the more of us then you think tip, I had a bus driver in Costa Rica chase me down after he found out I was from Ohio so we could talka bout Columbus.

  5. Don’t forget wearing to OVFF… Ohio may *look* like a cultural backwater but every fannish musician knows it’s the home of the Pegasus…

  6. Hmm. Ohio. When are you guys going to learn your lesson? Don’t think that your kind but stern overlords from Michigan will look kindly on this. We’re still bitter over the whole Toledo Incident.

    I think it’s time to send Jim C. Hines on a mission to teach you gents some humility. He’s got a bad-ass leather jacket, so you better watch yourself.

  7. Well, I was originally from Athens, OH, and have family in Columbus, thus I so can be a ninja-agent too. Got to get that t-shirt for my next visit.

  8. Columbus isn’t the only city in Ohio.

    Stealth Ohio SF Ninja…

    Come to think of it , that isn’t a half bad name for a rock band…

  9. I love how the highlighted letters spell out ‘chaos’, but randomly of course…

  10. “the sacred trampling of the University of Michigan logo to prove your Ohio-osity, ”

    However, I, as a Michigan State University alum, would highly encourage this for, just, you know, fun.

  11. How about this: my son got his doctorate at Kent State, and my daughter-in-law is from near Cincinnati. Is that good enough?

    If not, I have a fallback position, bwaahaaahaaa! I can be an agent without living there! Hey, for that matter, you’re not an agent, are you Scalzi? Even if you did write a novel about one.

    Oh, well, it’s a nice T-shirt.

  12. I wouldn’t say we’re bitter about the Toledo War. After all, we got the Upper Peninsula as a result which really hosed over Wisconsin. I suppose the untold wealth associate with the UP copper mines was something.

    We’re bitter about being pulled over every time we cross the border. Really, are we that bad at driving? We practically invented it!

    Also, your state is in the way while driving to other, more exciting locations. :)

  13. Toby and Charlie swore me to secrecy when they imported me to Columbus from California. Taking over the world was supposed to be a surprise. Now I find out there are tee-shirts….

    I ordered one. I can adapt.

  14. When you’re stuck on a layover en route to exciting Rennsalaer or Peoria for your Official OICTKYAWSF appearances, maybe you can find it in your hearts to have a signing at the O’Hare Cinnabon?

  15. Down here in Georgia (which is pronounced Jaw-JA), there are tons of us Ohioans. I’m from a village called Oak Harbor, and went to BGSU. I run into Ohioans at Dragon*Con all the time. Have you ever attended D*Con? We could use another Ohioan down for a visit. Email me if you have an interest.

    Ohioans: we are everywhere. You do not suspect us, but we are there. We are in ur con stealin’ yer SF. I will be getting the shirt. Thanks for the heads-up.

  16. Do those of us who spend occassional weekends in the state beating on things (like ourselves) with weaponry count? Or must one be a permanent resident?

  17. Unless “there’s more” can be unambiguously quantified to “there are [at least two] more”, is the contraction truly so heinous? [1]

    Aside: If anyone has an issue with the grammar used by Our Host, might I suggest that they first hunt down the author of the line “There’s more at the door” from _Tommy_ and commit intended atrocities upon their person(s) before rounding on the designers of this fine fine t-shirt?

    Long live the FTSCEP! [2]

    [1] Just kidding … unless, of course, someone were to sport said t-shirt with a bit on the back alluding to “a majority of one is still a majority”, in which case I’d have to pledge my life and fortune to their defenc^Hse.

    [2] Free T-shirt Colloquial Expression Party.

  18. I’m not from Ohio and right now I doubt whether I’ll ever see it with these eyes, but anyone who wants to publish on my birthday is entitled to have me buy a fine t-shirt at the very least.

    Need an overseas chapter?

  19. I think those of us from Iowa ought to be allowed to become honorary agents, given that every time I tell people where I’m from, they think I said Ohio. It’s sneaky, is what, how you’ve managed to usurp an entire state like that.

  20. Alys: Who’s usurping what? Our standard-bearers for “Ohio SF/F” are a native Angelino, a Seattleite and a Grenadian. Nice “compass rose strategy” for phantasmagorical Buckeye State usurpation, I say. And good on them; well played.

    Except: John spec’d scarlet and gray for the ninjas. He really should have said orange and brown. Woof.

    And also, Scalzi, what does pancreas taste like and whose was it?

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