Just in Case I’m Never Heard From Again
Posted on May 17, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 29 Comments
My daughter and her friend have been holed up in her room this evening, doing “scientific experiments.” Every once in a while I’ll get updates, like so:
“Great news, dad! The eggs are GAINING OXYGEN!”
And then back into the room.
The eggs, people.
They are gaining oxygen.
I’m off to hide now.
John, humans need Oxygen to live – we can’t let the eggs have it! You must stop these unfertilized terrorists at all costs!
Time to call the President.
I knew I was living in a science-fiction future when I went to the Discovery Store to hunt out Christmas presents about four years back and found a DNA sequencing kit. Aimed at ten-year olds.
Hug ’em from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
I think it’s time you build that underground bunker in the back yard.
Scientific curiosity is an awesome thing to encourage in kids.
My three-year-old knows all the planets of the Solar System, including their order from the sun, and he can spell all of them correctly. For his fourth birthday, I’m thinking about getting him that Fisher-Price My First Fusion Reactor.
Hey, we may be in the minority relative to the Creationist Camp crowd, but their children will serve the fries to our kids two decades hence.
Athena is a smart kid, she knows the yolks on you.
Just make sure they aren’t fed after midnight and don’t give them water!
2 * Egg + O<sub>2</sub> —> 2 * EggO
Guess what’s for breakfast?
Trust me, they’re hatching something …
The question, I think, is WHO’S EGGS ARE THEY????
I blame communism.
Been nice knowin’ ya John.
Christopher, #7
They don’t need eggs for that.
I seriously hope those aren’t dragon eggs, previously assumed to be unfertilized.
Yikes!!!
This of it this way, John: if the house blows up at least you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that Athena wasn’t afraid to try. :-)
Alan, #11
Shouldn’t that be “Simon, #8”?
Oh…!!!!! Holy Yolk Batbreath…
It’s alive….It’s alive….
Attention all SAC winnies scamble them…. scamble them…
When I was a kid, I used to look longingly through the Signals (PBS’s catalogue) and the toys for rich people catalogues and the toys I wanted the most were all the sciencey toys. The indoor planetarium so you could reflect the seasonal night sky on your bedroom ceiling. The terrarium habitats. The microscope and slide kit. The butterfly net and insect field guide.
I wanted a chemistry set. All the kids in YA from the 50s and 60s had them. (Well, all the male kids. Female kids had to tomboy it up.) There was even a mystery or two surrounding weird chemistry sets and mysterious old ladies. (And if anyone can remind me of the title….that would be awesome. Then I can indulge in nostalgia.)
Also I have fond memories of my dad building a cloud chamber in the kitchen.
I hope Athena’s having as much (but hopefully more) fun with her homemade science.
Eggsactly. You must be eggstatic with her progress. It is a good thing that she isn’t too hard-boiled to come out of her shell and share the details of her efforts.
(Sorry. I didn’t sleep much last night.)
That’s better, I suppose, than Athena sticking her head out the door and saying, “The plutonium, Dad, it’s beginning to fission!”
Better, but not much.
I vote we take off and nuke the site from orbit.
It’s the only way to be sure.
Jeff Z. @20: Sounds like a great first act turn for the movie. Because you know that approach would just make it mad.
That’s better, I suppose, than Athena sticking her head out the door and saying, “The plutonium, Dad, it’s beginning to fission!”
Give her time.
The Communist Eggs — they’re coming home to roost!
Pixelfish – Scott Corbett’s Trick series starring Corby, Fenton, and Mrs. Graymalkin? I loved those when I was a girl. I used to snitch them from one of my little brothers and read them.
I also enjoyed Alvin Fernald, esp when he invented the horribly hot candy, Fernald’s Fireballs, and won the contest because he forgot the name of the ingredient that made it too spicy. Good times.
They haven’t been spotted capturing salamanders, perchance? Or small japanese fish?
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
When she faithfully recreates the chest-bursting scene from Alien, you’ll know she’s made it.
Though originality wins out every time. Ah, childhood.
And because nobody else has said it yet:
I for one welcome our new Ovum overlords.
Now to get the shell out of here.
The four-year-old male version:
Vrrooom. Vrrooom.
Mommy, look. Look at it, Mommy. The truck is climbing right up the wall. It’s going up!
Whoa. It’s okay, Mommy. It didn’t hit anything! I’m going to do it again!
Last Christmas I was at the Discovery store with a friend when she found the chemistry set and thought she would get it for her daughter (9 years old). I had to step in. “It may be kid safe now, but after your husband get his hands on it, you’re going to have an incident with Homeland Security.” Her husband was a combat engineer in the army. He “blowed thangs up” for fun. To him, the cabinet under the kitchen sink doesn’t contain cleaning supplies. It’s backup bomb-supplies. She put the chemistry set down and bought the astronomy kit.
She also banned us from watching Myth Busters because we get too many ideas.