Soliciting Questions

I need to test a microphone and some recording software for a project I’m doing. So ask me some questions. I’ll answer them this afternoon (so, you know, get those questions in soon). Thanks.

Update, 11:32am: Okay, I have 20 questions. That’s enough for now. I’ll power up the microphone and get to them.

29 Comments on “Soliciting Questions”

  1. Are you a fan of Burroughs’ John Carter of Mars series? How about Doctor Who/Torchwood? If the answer to both of these questions is “yes”, how far do you think the character of Captain Jack in the latter is influenced by the former?

  2. Ok, I’ve heard your recorded voice several times (and once in person), so thats kind of a “been there, done that”.

    Do you do any impressions?

    Come on, you know you are dying to say: “Put the fucking lotion in the basket” or “Luke, I am your father”.

    Double dog dare ya! Go for it!

  3. A giant bat has flown into your office and is using it’s super-powerful echo location abilities to sonically destroy your stuff, how do you stop it?

  4. What is the worst part of the writing process for you? And what’s the best part?

    Have you ever felt insecure about your writing?

    Do you like Tootsie Pops?

  5. Edmund @ 1: I think that all depends on the Hulk’s frame of mind. The madder he gets, the stronger he gets and therefore, the more massive he becomes. The Thing, however, is at a constant mass.

    For a somewhat related question, do the Hulk’s…uh…droppings register on a geiger counter?

  6. What’s the airspeed of an unladen African Swallow?

    That or: What’s your favorite color?

    Be careful, incorrect answers may have dire consequences.

  7. Some time ago I was asking this on Charlie Stross’ blog:

    “If you would have to face Scalzi in a fight to the death, what would be your weapon of choice (and why)?”

    His decline to answer speaks volumes in itself. Will you also take the easy way out?

  8. If you had become an internationally famous audiobook reader rather than an internationally famous writer, whose books would you most enjoy recording, and why?

  9. What would your personal version of Hell (the worst place you could possibly be) consist of? What would your personal version of Heaven (the best place you could possibly be) consist of?

  10. I read Mr. Wright’s treatise, er, do you think he’s right, is science fiction nothing more than wank material?



  11. Why do you think so many people are interested in killing two birds with one stone? This strikes me as nothing more than efficient cruelty.

  12. You seem to have a good relationship with your publisher. What do you think is the key element or elements in an author/publisher relationship?

  13. Have you ever been in a cockpit before? Do you like gladiator movies? Have you ever seen a grown man naked? Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

  14. amandageddon – She is a slacker of the highest order, a geek of not so much, went back to school to become an even bigger geek and possibly get paid for it. She loves it when a plan comes together.

    My question is in regards to a topic that’s very near and dear to my heart:

    Cheese – yes, or no?

  15. 1) Why on earth did you agree to that cover for Hate Mail? I find it highly amusing, but do you really want people to start thinking you’re the antichrist or something?

    2) Where did the AMC blog/column deal come from? That just seemed out of left field.

    3) What’s your opinion on an author’s series being expanded upon after his/her death by subsequent authors (e.g. Frank Herbert, AE van Vogt, soon Robert Jordan, etc.)? Good? Bad? They’re never up to the original standard, but are they enough worse that they should be given up totally?

  16. Oh, also: Who would win in a fight – John Scalvi or John Scalazi? (Ripped shamelessly from someone in the podcast thread a few days ago)

    Inquiring minds want to know!

  17. What are your three favorite words?

    What author do you think writes books that are best suited to reading aloud? I’ve always thought that Raymond Chandler’s books would probably make for good read-aloud storytelling.

    Does your vacuum cleaner make a high-pitched, funny noise? You know that’s a sign that you’re a communist. Don’t expect me to believe you, just because you say it. You better include an audio sample, just to be safe.

    Fill in the blank:
    War is Peace. Hatred is Love. Pudding is ________.

    Of course, since I’m deaf it doesn’t matter if you answer these or not; I can’t tell and will assume that you did.

    (win for me!)

  18. Dang! I missed it by 6 minutes.

    I can still assume that you’ve decided to include my questions anyway.

    (still win for me?)

  19. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang, betwixt demons.


    That’s what I get for being out walking the dog when you asked for questions.

    My question: Who would win in a fight of zombie Tim Russert vs. zombie Walter Winchell.

    Oh, well. We’ll never know.

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