If Only I Had Known
Henceforth, whenever mail, electronic or otherwise, delivers to me news I don’t wish to hear, or act upon, like the President of the United States, I shall simply not open it, and therefore, it won’t have happened. I’m kicking myself now about all the mortgage payments I have stupidly made over the years.
And now, the following discussion with the wife on the matter:
Me: What would you say if I suggested to you that from now on, if something comes in the mail we don’t want to know about, like our mortgage and bills, we just refuse to open them, like the President?
Wife: Okay. Can we do that with our taxes, too?
Me: I don’t see why not!
Wife: Actually, I have a better idea. Rather than ignoring our bills, why don’t we just mulch the current president and put someone else in there?
Me: I don’t think we have to mulch him. There’s an election coming up.
Wife: No. Mulch and start over.
I should note that Krissy’s tolerance for shenanigans these days is really rather low.
Also: Hey, you know what I would do if the White House told me that it wouldn’t accept an e-mail with a Supreme Court-ordered document in it? I would PRINT IT OUT and DELIVER IT BY HAND. Because you can do that. Seriously, now, does every single appointee of the Bush Administration have the IQ of a LOLCat? “Oh noes! Theyz not openz our e-mailz! Our public policiz is rooned!” To be flummoxed by a recalcitrant refusing to download a file suggests, well, that you are a candidate for mulching.
The more I think about this the more I feel I am in danger of bleeding uncontrollably from the ears, so instead and per recent tradition, here’s a picture of a cat:
Hmmm. I think I’ll just go ahead and bleed from the ears anyway.