Reminder: Insult the Crap Out of Me
Posted on June 25, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 19 Comments
Remember that you have only until 11:59:59 tonight (Eastern) to get in your entries for the “Hate Mail” contest, in which the winning hate mails will be published in the book itself. Yes, that’s right, your words describing how much I suck will be enshrined forever in the Library of Congress. That puts it all in perspective, it does. And the winners will of course also get their own copies of the book, to enshrine (or not) as they see fit. Have fun with it, you bastards.
Have fun with it yourself, you arsehole.
No, wait- go and have fun with yourself, you twat.
No, hold on, I’ll get the hang of this-
Heh. Remember, of course, that official entries into the contest go in the other thread.
Oh, I know. This set of insults is for fun rather than profit.
How many more pages are you trying to fill with this silly contest, you lazy bastarb..
:D
Some see the growing commercialization of Scalzi-hating as ruining the sport and stick to a strict amateur interpretation for its pureness of form, ya wee gob of spit.
Alternative Eric- do you tell the difference between the Pros and Amateurs by whether or not they’re referred to as “Mister” or not?
As in, “Mr. Scalzi, you are no gentleman” ? (grin)
Dr. Phil
Howzat?
Mr. Scalzi bashing, the new cricket.
“Listen, Madeley! I’m not paying for this! You want to insult Mr. Scalzi, you do it on your own time!”
:-D
We can draw straws and the winner would get to burn their copy of a Scalzi novel to form the basis of the Ass’s Ashes trophy for international test bashing.
Note: I already submitted an official entry.
But if you are a Seinfeld fan:
The talentless hack store called. They are running out of you.
You know, I never watched Seinfield. And if I have, I blocked it out.
Sir, I served with John Scalvi: I knew John Scalvi; John Scalvi was a friend of mine. Sir, you’re no Jack Scalvi.
(I’m sure someone’s used that before but I couldn’t resist.)
Wouldn’t laxative work better?
You are a good writer. You have nice animals. Your family seems nice. Your blog is fun. I like your forum. You gave to lupas. You help promote Sci-fi writers besides yourself. I like your AMC column.
WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?
Insult the Crap Out of Me
Now, now. We can’t do that; you’d NEVER survive without your head, and then who’d raise Athena?
…
… the OTHER thread, you say? Oh.
Well the reference is to an episode in which George, (Jason Alexander’s character) is eating shrimp at a lunch meeting and one of his coworker’s says:
The ocean called, they are running out shrimp.
George later comes up with the “Ultimate comeback” which is “The Jerk Store called, they are running out of you”
However, the coworker has left the company and is now in Cleveland (i.e. not New York). George drives cross country to deliver his brilliant line, to which the coworker replies: “That’s okay you’re their all time best seller”
To which George replied: “Oh yeah, well I slept with your wife” which was another discussed comeback line
At which point the coworker’s new boss informs George that the coworker’s wife has been in a coma for 7 years.
What’s this?! You called me a bastard?! Why, them’s fightin’ words.
You no good … oh wait. Post is 6/25. Today is 6/27.
Never mind….