Reminder: Insult the Crap Out of Me

Remember that you have only until 11:59:59 tonight (Eastern) to get in your entries for the “Hate Mail” contest, in which the winning hate mails will be published in the book itself. Yes, that’s right, your words describing how much I suck will be enshrined forever in the Library of Congress. That puts it all in perspective, it does. And the winners will of course also get their own copies of the book, to enshrine (or not) as they see fit. Have fun with it, you bastards.

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

19 replies on “Reminder: Insult the Crap Out of Me”

Sir, I served with John Scalvi: I knew John Scalvi; John Scalvi was a friend of mine. Sir, you’re no Jack Scalvi.

(I’m sure someone’s used that before but I couldn’t resist.)

You are a good writer. You have nice animals. Your family seems nice. Your blog is fun. I like your forum. You gave to lupas. You help promote Sci-fi writers besides yourself. I like your AMC column.


Well the reference is to an episode in which George, (Jason Alexander’s character) is eating shrimp at a lunch meeting and one of his coworker’s says:

The ocean called, they are running out shrimp.

George later comes up with the “Ultimate comeback” which is “The Jerk Store called, they are running out of you”

However, the coworker has left the company and is now in Cleveland (i.e. not New York). George drives cross country to deliver his brilliant line, to which the coworker replies: “That’s okay you’re their all time best seller”

To which George replied: “Oh yeah, well I slept with your wife” which was another discussed comeback line

At which point the coworker’s new boss informs George that the coworker’s wife has been in a coma for 7 years.

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