Upholding the First Law of Cat Lounging
Posted on June 28, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 22 Comments
Which is, of course, “all lounging cats must attempt to take up the maximum possible space.” This is especially applicable on desks and beds. Notice Zeus’ extended paw action to claim extra desk space. He’s a pro.
Also for your amusement, the following pensive portrait:
I see this as being his author photo for his scandalous tell-all The Bastards Fed Me Kibble: My Life With the Awful Scalzi Family, in which he reveals that it was I who got him hooked on that demon catnip. Well, it’s true, I suppose. But, hey, I paid for his rehab, you know.
How does cat rehab work? Is it cold turkey, or does he have catnip patches?
O Great Scalzi, if we cannot have Beauteous Ghlaghghee pictures and updates everyday this study of TempCat Zeus does nicely.
Of course, there is no good reason Magnificent She is not featured continually, except for your uncultured and shiftless nature.
The Official Ghlaghghee Fan Club
I think he wants your wallet.
Oh yes slave Scalvi, teh wallet, it is out of mah reach. Action is required.
Morrissey cat is Morrissey.
This is Zeus’s audition headshot for when he tries out for that hot new TV revival. You know, the one about the small town girl who moves to NY to go to college and falls in the sewer and finds true love: Stephenie Meyer’s Beauty & the Beast. Good luck, Zeus!
2nd Law of Cat Lounging, no matter how comfortable and content on is in their own spot on the couch, when human gets up to refill drink (or any other short trip) the cat must move to soak up the human’s hot spot and pretend to be asleep, thereby causing human distress when they return.
I thought the first law of cat lounging was “This is my space. Get the hell out of my way!”
that look is communicating one thing.
Rub My Belly!
“Belly full of kibble, stoned out of mind with catnip. If I wasn’t so wasted you’d never be able to sit there and spend two minutes composing that photo. Zzzz…”
Dr. Phil
I dunno…but looks to me like Zeus wants a bedtime story…or an afternoon nappy-time story…he’s obviously selected that from which he expects you to read.
A Scalzi-cat tell-all? Oh, man, you are so hosed. There’s no way you can pay Zeus more in hush money than he can earn from a best seller. Not to mention the movie rights…
BTW: I know Fluffgargle is a girl, and don’t remember whether LC is a boy or a girl. If, indeed, Zeus is the first boy kitty you’ve ever had, please be aware that an all-kibble diet is a risk factor for FUS, which can be fatal.
I love the kitty’s face, like mine, he’s got his own muckledy face (well except Angelina, she’s all gray, but has silver highlights in her fur, especially around her face).
Tully can attest that I do have one cat that, well, looks like she’s a holstein cat. She’s black and white, but the blotches are shaped like the cattle breed.
I fear you, like I, are pwned by our felines.
CaseyL: LC is a boy, but neither of them is Scalzi’s first male cat. There was Rex who passed on a few years ago. Search the site for his name and learn how he now reposes in a real sarcophagus! (Plus, the kibble thing is just a running joke here. Scalzi has an encyclopedic knowledge of cat well-being. He and Rex were even name-checked in Cats for Dummies. Seriously.)
To understand the beast you need to know just one thing; a cat is a practice baby.
Tully can attest that I do have one cat that, well, looks like she’s a holstein cat.
Coloration, yes. Size and tippability, no.
In addition to the desk lounging, however, there is also the inverse law: when a cat is in her own space, she folds up into the smallest possible configuration, a tiny cylinder-like shape for sleep that exposes the least vulnerable amount of cat to the world. Of course, explosion to maximum cat-size is possible at the slightest disturbance.
yep, she’d be missing in action before anyone can tip her. In fact most visitors, unless they spend the night or come over for watching TV catch any kind of glimpse of Yum.
On the other hand Sigfried always comes down to the door with me, like I always trained the dogs I had. (Well, when my folks had the BIG dogs – Great Danes – I taught both of them to step in front of mom, between a visitor and her, when she would go to the front door
In conjunction with spreading out and taking up as much space as possible comes another rule: always lay ON TOP of something. Even if there is plenty of empty space on which to sprawl, the cat must lay on top of whatever is in the direct vicinity–books, laptops, magazines, stacks of mail, laundry (dirty or clean), gift wrapping, DVDs, remote controlls…you get the picture.
This blog was so much better before my employer started blocking all images on flickr.
Sorry, Randy. Linking to images on Flickr is just easier for me. But now you have something to look forward to when you get home!
I look forward to the filmed version, “Requiem For A Nap”.