The Unbearable Ridiculousness of Bacon
Posted on July 10, 2008 Posted by John Scalzi 27 Comments
It’s now official: Two of the top five days that Whatever has had in its entire near-decade run, unique visitorship-wise, have been because of entries concerning bacon. Seriously, here’s the top attendance figures, and the entries that motivated them:
1. Creation Museum Visit (72k)
2. Bacon Cat (66k)
3. Bacon Patient Zero (56k)
4. Wikipedia Refuses to Admit Fred Saberhagen is Dead (55k)
5. Fox News v. Obama’s Blackness (54k)
No matter how much you like bacon, that’s kind of weird, you know? People online really are fascinated by breakfast meat. What can you do.
Small stat geek note: In almost all cases, the day a truly big entry here at Whatever is at its most popular is not the day it’s published, but one (or even two) days later, after it’s leaked out beyond the usual crowd. In the case of Bacon Patient Zero, its biggest draw day was two days after I wrote it, thanks to a Fark link (although the day before that it was a pretty big draw too, thanks to Instapundit). So even on “Internet Time,” it takes a couple of days to be an overnight success.
Well when you post at 01:00 A.M. on a weekday morning, yeah, it will be a while before you get some responses. Lord, man, when do you sleep? I saw your first post today at what, like 5 A.M. or so?
I suspect it’s called “scheduled posts.” With the proper blog software, you too can appear to be posting around-the-clock, no matter what you’re actually doing at the time!
Meanwhile… how far down is Being Poor? Or is its popularity more of an over-the-long-haul thing?
Well dang it, I just lost a potential hour+ of sleep reading comments on several of these and giggling. I’ll have to save Creation for another day, or I’ll never get to bed! (Okay, I’ll admit, I read the bacon-related ones first!)
The non-standard wisdom, I believe from Skellie of skelliewag.org, is that it takes around three days for a blog post to circulate around well.
Things obviously needed some high seriousness (and your post landed on my monitor at exactly the right moment): http://www.foodpast.com/transmission-of-foodways-almost-a-serious-post/
Should I apologise?
Speaking of apologizing … “So, whenever you think of bacon, or of doing something bizarre with it, let Scalzi know — I’m sure he’d appreciate it.” (link) … sorry.
However weird we all are out in interweb land, bacon-cat is genius by any sensible person’s judgement – a worthy second place to the creation museum!
Thinking about it, if you wanted to improve the performance of bacon in this table you could get a pet pig. This would have the added bonus of making the whole “bacon-cat” idea a whole lot more transgressive.
Also, I’ll note that I’m 6 (or maybe 7, I haven’t done a lot of research on this comment) timezones ahead of Whatever-time, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only reader who is timeshifted in this way. Still, I didn’t jump on the computer at 7 this morning to check if Scalzi is talking about bacon again.
I clicked through to your rant about Ben Myers, where I found this lovely description by your daughter: “You’re a hideous four-eyed freak who crams his brain with fairy fiction using his two extra eyes.”
This is a perfect description of me:
Thank you both ;)
Excellent! Also, as a latecomer to ‘Whatever’ I wasn’t here for the Creation Museum vists when it happened and have just spent a highly enjoyable hour (of what would otherwise have been a productive working day) reading it and looking at the pretty pictures. Thank you.
And be sure that when my time sheet comes up short of billable hours shall be blaming you.
John, you’ve stumble across the next big thing. Bacon-lit, it’s the new Chick-lit. All you need is to have John Perry eat a nice big breakfast, or a BLT, in every other chapter and the next OMW book will be a selling phenom.
I’m very surprised that your entry about what it is to be poor isn’t in the top 5. That was the one that originally started me reading you (and I’m glad I did, you give good blog).
Here’s hoping that people come for the bacon and stay for the real substance.
And speaking of bacon, I was playing with Google’s new 3-D chatroom program (Lively) yesterday. I haven’t read all the bacon-related comments, so forgive me if this is old news. Someone has created a platter of bacon that can be added to user designed room. I thought of you. There was a time when bacon made me think of breakfast. I find this slightly disturbing.
Two of the top five? Two of the top three. If you’re pointing out ridiculousness, go all the way.
You’ve been proclaiming that nothing you ever write will be more popular than Bacon on a Cat.
But you wrote that entry on your visit to the Creation Museum. So, at least on the scale of “most visits to your site in one day”, something you wrote is #1.
Now then, after visiting the creation museum again, I really have to CREATE some work or the boss will be annoyed.
Because I’m trying not to laugh out loud at the blogs of my brother’s friends. We’ll all burn for this, probably, just remember, the first one there reserves the card table and stocks the fridge with tasty adult beverages…but it is soooooo worth it.
(the brother unit is known amongst you as Dr_Phil_Physics)
the sister of dr_phil_physics…who really MUST get to work now
You really should get a pet pig, as Neil suggested. And you should name it Bacon-Cat.
Gee, I first came here because I wanted information on “Old Man’s War” and stayed for the cat talk and bad 80s music videos. I feel so ashamed.
In terms of aggregate views, Being Poor is easily #1. It gets at least a couple hundred views a day.
Bacon-Cat = comedy gold.
So, let me make sure I have this straight. The cake is a lie, but the bacon is real. Right?
Thought you might enjoy this. Th ecurious this is that its posted on a Jewish website.
Based on the existing data, I predict that if you dig up Fred Saberhagen, cover him in bacon, and get him mounted as an exhibit in the Creation Museum, you’ll be *really* popular.
With whom, I do not know.
Wow. I just read all the way through the comments on the Michelle Obama ‘baby mama’ story, and I have to say I am now taking notes on how to deal with trolls. The image of Warrior frantically trying to get his puny little opinions in the public view, while you calmly respond to him on the comment thread without giving him the dignity of seeing his own side of the argument posted – it’s gold, that’s all I can say, sheer gold. It made me happy. Inside.
I must admit the obsession with bacon perplexes me. I have nothing against Bacon Cat, but how everyone got so psyched about him is a devious puzzle indeed. Though I suppose well done for having a cat who did not eat the bacon long enough to take a photo. Well played there, sir.
I think I’ve seen teh bacon bra before. In fact, I think it was around here someplace.
One of our proprietor’s “Here, I’ve see it, you can stop sending me this link now” posts.
Which are nearly always about bacon, for some reason.
I can’t imagine why.
As a newcomer to Whatever, I’m still in shock I’ve not been here earlier, only now learning of your bacon love…One Saturday every month my family enjoys the “Homer Simpson” breakfast, which consists of donuts and bacon. When asked what I would do if I could “walk away from it all”, I respond, “Live in the mountains and eat a lb. of bacon everyday.” In fact, it runs in my blood, as I have to tell my six-year-old son that Canadian bacon is “circle” bacon if I have any hope of him eating it. My blood test is Aug. 18?
Enjoying every slice!