Can’t Play; Must Work

But here’s some Luscious Jackson to keep you company. Did I mention I have a crush on Gabby Glaser? Apparently I have a fetish for female bassists. I don’t imagine this is incredibly uncommon.

36 Comments on “Can’t Play; Must Work”

  1. Hey John,

    You’ve probably seen Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog — the new Joss Whedon project — by this point. Either way, you should give it a little bit of a signal boost! Especially because the free viewing is going to go away on Sunday.

  2. Adam J. Whitlatch – Bonaparte, Iowa – Adam J. Whitlatch is the author of over sixty works of speculative short fiction and poetry, as well as the young adult science fiction novel E.R.A. - Earth Realm Army and the urban fantasy novella Retribution: Book I of the Blood Raven Saga. His work has appeared in Six Sentences, Northern Haunts: 100 Terrifying New England Tales, Dead Science, Shroud, Crossed Genres, The Drabbler, and Vicious Verses & Reanimated Rhymes just to name a few. Adam lives in southeastern Iowa with his wife and two sons. He is currently studying to become an English teacher.
    Adam J. Whitlatch

    I really like “Down to Earth” by them (featured on the Titan A.E. soundtrack). It’s in my playlist for when I’m writing.

  3. Jacob:

    I very seriously doubt Joss Whedon needs a signal boost from me. Also, you know. This isn’t meant to be a pimp thread.

  4. Good tune, that. And you are far from alone in your penchant for the female wielders of those mightiest of axes. I just so happen to have snagged one myself.

  5. “Apparently I have a fetish for female bassists. I don’t imagine this is incredibly uncommon.”

    I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter… my attraction to female bass players has been a long-running joke with my wife. Glad there’s someone else in the clubhouse with me.

    May I direct your attention to this page.

  6. Three posters so far like female bassists, yay. Does this apply equally to classically-trained string bass playing females? How about former string bass playing females? Is there any hope for me?

  7. changterhune – Before you hear lies from Chang Terhune himself, we thought we’d tell you the truth: without us, his old action figures, he’d be nowhere. He loved science fiction from way back and began reading it at an early age, but it was through us that he acted it all out. That’s what led to the writing. He watched a lot of science fiction shows like Star Trek, U.F.O, and movies, too. But we were always there to do his bidding. And it’s like they say: you always forget about the little people on your way up. Oh, the 70’s and early 80’s with him were good times! He’d use these blocks and make all the crazy buildings for us to be in his stories. I gotta say the kid’s imagination was pretty damn fertile. Oh, he had friends, but they just weren’t into it like him. He was like the Lance Armstrong of action figures. And of science fiction. At first, when he began writing in the eighth grade, we didn’t mind. He still made time for us. And we knew that when he was holding us in his sweaty little hands and he got that far off look in his eye, he’d come back to burying us in the back yard or - god forbid! – blowing us up with firecrackers. But it was worth it for a part in one of those stories. We loved him for it. He kept us around even when we were minus a leg or two - or even a head. In that mind of his, he found a use for all of us. Then he discovered girls. October, 1986. It was like the end of the world. One day we’re standing in the middle of this building block creation he’d pretended was some marble city on a planet near Alpha Centauri and the next we were stuck in a box in the closet. Not even a “See ya later!” Nope, it was into the closet, then we heard some high-pitched girly-giggles then silence. We didn’t see him for years. We got word about him once in a while. Heard he took up writing, but it was crap like “The Breakfast Club” only with better music. We couldn’t believe it. Not Charlie. What happened to those aliens with heads he’d sculpted out of wax? Spaceships? Those complex plots? All gone. For what? You guessed it: Girls. Emotions. “Serious fiction.” I tell you, it was like hearing Elvis had left the building. During our two decade exile in the closet, we heard other things about him. He went to college. He wrote a lot, but not much he really liked. We knew it even then. It was like he didn’t dare write science fiction. Some of us had lost hope and just lay there. Others kept vigil, hoping for a day we didn’t dare speak about. Then we heard he’d stopped writing in 1996. Did he come to reclaim us? No. He took up music for ten years or so. He took up yoga. Once in a while, he’d visit us in the closet. But it was half-hearted. His mind was elsewhere. Then one day, he really did come back for us. One second we’re in the dark and the next thing we know we’re in a car headed for Massachusetts. Suddenly we got a whole shelf to ourselves out in broad daylight! Then he bought a bunch of others form some planet called Ebay. He’d just sit and stare at us with that old look. But why were we suddenly back in the picture? He had a wife now, who didn’t mind that he played with us. So what had happened? Turns out he’d never forgotten about those stories. He’d been thinking about all of us and the stories he’d made up and then remembered he’d been a writer once. From the shelf we could see him typing away. Before long he’s got a whole novel together! Then he’s working on another one. Word is there are two more in the planning stages! Some short stories, too! It’s good to see him using his imagination again. Its good to know he never abandoned us. He returned to his true love of science fiction. We hear the stories are pretty good. Someday we’ll get one of the cats to score us a copy of the manuscript. Man, it’s good to be out of the damn closet! --- I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me I'm smarter than you I'm harder than you I'm better than you I'm just raw I'm hotter than you More popular than you More clever than you And goshdarn it, people like me
    Chang at the gates!

    Mine was Kathy valentine from the Go-go’s! Oh yeah!

    Now if Helen Mirren played bass. Damn!

  8. John,

    Here’s a hint: If I haven’t posted an entry about it, the answer is “no.”

    Heh. Understood. Don’t worry–not meeting self-set deadlines is a constitutional right! At least, I’m pretty sure it is. I’ll have the constitution read by tomorrow and let you know. :)

  9. A woman playing a bass is one of the hottest things, period.

    I like guys better, but a guy playing the bass just isn’t the same somehow.

  10. Kim Deal, for one, yowza.

    And who was the bassist for Belly. I remember seeing them back in the mid-90s at the University of Delaware. Radiohead opened for them, if you could believe it, in a gym auditorium. They had one woman (not Tanya Donnelly) whose desirability quotient tripled when she strapped on her bass.

  11. Gabby occasionally tends bar at Floyd’s in Brooklyn. She gets a lot of those “is that who I think it is?” kind of looks. She teaches guitar too, or at least offered lessons to a friend of mine.

    She still makes music and plays gigs. I think her homepage is out of date.

  12. According to Wiki Gabby Glaser is the guitar player and Jill Cunniff is the bass player. Not to be narky about it….

  13. You know, even the prepubescent bass player in the “School of Rock” movie had a really cool look. She’s off limits for like ten years, though. Did I say ten? I meant twenty. Meanwhile we can enjoy her musical talents; I heard a rumor they’re making a sequel to the movie.

  14. The members of the band did a lot of instrument switching, as I understand it. From an interview:

    OV: I actually saw you guys play a show last November and I noticed how you all alternate between guitar, bass, keyboards and vocals. How, especially with just you and Jill, do you decide who plays what?

    GG: We just do whatever works best, you know, whatever works best live. It really doesn’t matter how you record it. And live, whatever makes the most sense.

  15. A subject near and dear to my heart.

    Pat DiNizio of the Smithereens said it best:
    “Well she held a bass guitar and
    She was playing in a band and
    She stood just like Bill Wyman
    Now I am her biggest fan ”

    Patricia Morrison of The Gun Club, Sisters of Mercy, and the Damned:

    Big girl, big hair, big bass sound, Mary Huff:

    Thanks for the Gail Ann Dorsey link; wow!

    Can’t forget Me’shell:

    But my money is on Johnette Napolitano, plays hard and sings beautifully:

  16. Hey don’t get me wrong, I think that women bass players are generally hot, also.
    I have had the fortune to see Luscious Jackson twice back in the day. Both times Gabby was on the guitar.
    Also in all the liner notes it does not say who plays what.
    Off to watch the videos!

    @ sfc ski I second Johnette Napolitano SHE ROCKS!

  17. Tal Wilkenfeld, playing here with Jeff Beck.


  18. Lyn-Z of Mindless Self Indulgence.

    at 2:40 in that video she does this bend over backward bass playing thing that is nifty as heck.

  19. I can’t believe I missed Tina Weymouth!

    Incredible grooving talent, just listen to this bassline (not sampled, played!)

  20. The Man Who Loved a Double Bass” by Angela Carter. First appeared in Storyteller Contest July 1962. Reprinted in “Burning Your Boats: The Collected Short Stories”, intro by Salman Rushdie, [London: Chatto & Windus, 1995; New York: Penguin, 1997]

    “All artists, they say, are a little mad. This madness is, to a certain extent, a self-created myth designed to keep the generality away from the phenomenally close-knit creative community. Yet, in the world of the artists, the consciously eccentric are always respectful and admiring of those who have the courage to be genuinely a little mad….”

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